Attempts at Living
by RT4ever
Summary: Follow up to “Outside of the Box” ML of course. Don’t read if you were satisfied with that ending, this is for those who want all the answers. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OKAY WITH IT BEING INCOMPLETE.
1. Part One

AN: Okay so I swear I just told X-318 no more of this story and here I am posting it. This chapter was 75 percent written and I went to write fluff for Babyangel and my mood decided to work against me (Halloween is a time of highs and lows, yesterday I was high- I found great shoes, today is low- my dress resembles a potato sack…Never ever make a commitment to a costume that you can't get out of :-( ). This story totally suited my mood tonight, so I decided to finish this chapter up and post it.

I still stand by that I liked the ending of the other story, but hey I'm one of those people who crave all the details (_Hmm yea like you didn't realize that by just how detail oriented I tend to be), _so this is for those like me. Scream if you hate it (or don't review, but that doesn't work quite as well), review if you want more. And as always thanks for reading! Oh and I totally repeat words even more than I normally do in this chapter and wow I have a teacher who would be so proud of me for noticing that (course he'd probably been prouder if I changed them :-).

* * *

**Attempts at Living**

She had woken up from many dreams in the past year. Watching Logan die, being poison to him, those were the basics, but there were more.

Dreams in which he'd turn on her, she'd escape from Manticore and run back to Logan only to be told he wanted nothing to do to her, he'd call her a whore and a monster. Dreams in which her brother would scream at her that he'd sacrificed himself for nothing; that she hadn't been worth saving. She'd dreamed of all of her friends turning on her, she'd dreamed of getting them killed. She even dreamed a few times of being the one to kill them, of actually turning into that monster, trapped in a body that took the lives of everyone she loved.

So maybe it wasn't surprising that she kept waiting to wake up now as she had after they'd rescued her.

_She felt trapped in a dream._

Funny little dream, if she was actually dreaming it she'd probably be happy.

Cutesy kinda dream, the kind Kendra would make fun of her for. She was in the kitchen chopping the vegetables Logan had brought home with him. He was behind his computer diligently working as she'd ordered him to do once he returned home. There were three sounds filling the air leading to Max's sensitive ears, the chopping, the typing and the grainy strands of a lullaby drifting in from the living room. So the very type of dream that _should_ make her happy.

It didn't though.

She was detached as Bling had told her was normal after a trauma. He'd reassured her without her even asking that first week that it would pass. He'd been the one to ask, 'Feels like a dream doesn't it?' He'd proceeded to tell her it was common and told her to ask Logan how many times he'd try to get up in that first week. _The mind sometimes needed time to catch up to the reality. _

So for now she was simply resigned. She knew in her head what had to be done. Will needed a mother and all that entailed.

Her mind tried ordering her heart to knock down the walls that had been erected. She had to love him as much as she knew it would hurt, she had to do it. She was being sacrificed for him.

Of course things like that seemed to make the wall thicker, every time she'd tried to just sit and hold him, she'd felt herself stiffen.

One step in front of the other. Logan had said that to her as she'd admitted (to him and only him) that she kept waiting to wake up. 'One step in front of the other…Eventually you're going to realize you were where you were heading.' It was how he'd gotten through those tough first days of being paralyzed…Of losing her. You woke up and did what you had to do and that's what she was trying to do now as she was trapped in this surreal existence.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Smells good," he said taking over her normal role and slipping his arms around her waist as she was going to taste the stew that had finished cooking almost a half an hour ago, but had been left waiting for him to emerge. Odd niceties, she's have once never thought herself capable of.

"Not half bad if I do say so myself," she changed the direction of the spoon towards Logan's mouth.

"Hmm…Much better than that time you thought you could liven it up."

"Hey it's not my fault you've got weak taste buds."

"You dumped the entire jar in, admit it," he said patting her on the side as he moved away still smiling to grab two bowls.

"Like two dashes," she smirked as she took the bowl he outstretched.

"We're going to have to review your cooking terms again."

"My cooking terms are just fine thank you very much, you're just a wuss. Original Cindy likes Cayenne Pepper."

"Even you turned red," he said as they switched bowls.

"You're a wuss," she restated looking up with a serious face as her skilled hands quickly filled the second bowl.

His eyebrows raised for that, but he didn't say anything as his eyes scanned around the kitchen.

"Everything's already on the table," she supplied knowing he was looking for the bread and wine.

_Yea funny little dream,_ she thought a few moments later looking up with a small smile at Logan as he poured the wine before sitting down.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

They discussed his interview as they slowly made their way through dinner, followed it up with the going ons of Jam Pony from the previous day before moving on to the scandal Logan and Krit had been trying to figure out. That relationship advice about keeping work away from the dinner table didn't work for them; that and she knew it helped Logan to think about it in a relaxed environment, just casually brainstorming about it, more often than not he'd speed up dinner and head straight to his computer or the phone afterwards. The relationship gurus (aka Kendra and OC) had some pretty serious words about that too, but meanwhile Max still remained in shock that 9 out of ten times Logan actually managed to remain seated at the table after having a breakthrough.

No such breakthroughs today though, she knew the reason his mind wasn't relaxed, there was still the lurking presence of the blissfully asleep third person in this apartment. The person she knew she'd eventually have to talk about.

"You know there are still a lot of things we need to discuss," he said as they neared the end of the bottle of wine still residing in the dining room, Max having never initiated the move towards the living room because of that third person.

"Like Sketchy getting trapped in the stirrups at Natalie's appointment?" she threw out with a smile.

It threw him off track as it was intended to, his brow furrowed, his head tilted, his mouth opened for a second without speaking, "How…"

"I don't know the details, I just know he somehow managed to twist his ankle coming off the table," she shook her head. "I really feel sorry for that kid." _Damn kid, _she cursed her own story. Logan started to open his mouth, "Almost had you off track."

He smiled and shook his head, "Almost. Max waiting to talk about this isn't going to make it any easier."

"What else is there to discuss Logan, kid's got a name and a place to live."

"He still needs a middle name," he decided to start off easy.

"Not Zack," she said knowing from earlier exactly where he was going with this conversation.

"Max, he-"

"Not Zack," she repeated.

He sighed and took off his glasses before pinching the bridge of his nose, "What about what do you want to tell people?" he asked with his eyes still shut.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes opened, "I mean there's suddenly a newborn living with us Max and you've never been pregnant."

"He's adopted," she shrugged her shoulders.

"So when he grows up looking like you…"

She glared in annoyance, "Obviously you have an opinion on this so why don't you just share instead of trying to prod me into it."

He suddenly felt as if he'd been transported back two years in time. _Patience_, he reminded himself knowing she was just retreating into what she viewed as a safe place. "Do you want to deny the fact that you are his," he paused, "the biological source of his X chromosome."

She just looked at him.

"Max I'm just saying, there's a difference between now and five years from now."

More looking, that screaming voice inside of her that reminded her she wasn't that little boy's mother.

"What happens if he takes after you Max?" He shook his head and leaned forward onto an awaiting hand propped up on the table, "We could tell people there was a family tragedy." _Partial truth right?_

She thought briefly about it before shaking her head, "Too many questions. I don't want to deal with that. We'll probably be gone in five years anyway."

"And if we come back when he's a teenager and is almost the male version of you? Or he comes back on his own when he's older trying to find out about his past?"

_Why was he making this more difficult?_

"Logan, I…" her voice just trailed off. He was talking about a future she wasn't even sure they'd have. A teenager, that was implying they'd make it through the next thirteen years. She wasn't even sure about the day.

His head shook slowly, but his mind wasn't allowing his heart to take the lead on this as it often did where she was concerned. He was about to suggest a surrogate, but the idea of taking credit for Zack's DNA was suddenly reprehensible and not in the sense he would have originally thought, he just couldn't take credit for the last part of Zack, the other man didn't deserve it.

"What?" she asked viewing his changing expressions.

"Forget it," he answered.

"Logan…"

"I was thinking a surrogate,"

Her head tilted for that, _Logan and Zack did have the same basic physical characteristics, but…"_Somehow I can't imagine anyone thinking you and me would resort to a Petri-dish when we can do it the old fashioned way."

_The old-fashioned way? _No one knew he could still have kids, hell he'd been shocked to find out he could. "That could actually work," he leaned back and thought about it for another second as she continued to look confused, "I'm paralyzed, you had heart surgery…" More than a few had seen the tip of her scar when a v-neck would move the wrong way.

"Wait let me get this straight, you want him to be my kid and not yours?" _Granted it was the truth, but still…_

"Max, I can't just take credit for him."

"Yet you want me to?" her voice rose a bit.

_Oh god not this again, _"Max, I don't mean like that. I can't take credit for the things I'm not responsible for."

Another serious look as she repeated the words, "I'm not his mom."

Those words scared him and he started to wonder if she was ever really going to be. His mouth opened and the shut as he looked at her, vulnerable, innocent, completely and utterly headstrong even as she was petrified. His voice softened even further, "You've got to be, you know that right?" _She'd always craved her mother's love, even if it was just the words of another person telling her of it. He'd always known his parents love, maybe not in the form he'd wanted, but he'd known it. Kids needed that, without it he couldn't imagine Will being much worse off in Manticore._

Eyes widened, lips trembled, "Not like this."_ Not like this, she couldn't handle this._

"I'll think of something else," he said after a moment of viewing her and fighting the urge to rush over and take her in his arms. He would just have to evade straightforward answers for awhile, he was good at evading, of never really answering the question asked, _he had a lot of practice._

She nodded.

His body started to align itself with his heart and his arms were twitching to go to her. He stood.

"What are you doing?" she asked suddenly in fear that he'd had enough of this and he finally wised up to the fact that he was better off without her. _Where had that come from? _She wondered shocked by her own thoughts.

"Dishes?" he answered as he lifted his bowl and hers.

"Oh," _God what was happening to her lately?_

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

He'd moved to clean up the dishes and put away dinner all so it could lead to his moment, sitting on the couch with his arm draped around Max, who was curled into him. Sometimes the need to just hold her was so overwhelming…Wasn't just in situations like this, it was her being off in the bathroom, off on a ride, out at work, sometimes even just sitting inches away from him. Sometimes the urge would hit while they were working and he'd try to alleviate it with phone calls, but they never really satisfied it, he often showed up at her job to pick her up just to have her in his arms fifteen minutes earlier. They both received hell from it from everyone they knew about it, but as they'd all say _it wasn't their place to judge. _Of course they all proceeded to do just that, but still none of them would ever know what they had gone through and they were all thankful about it.

They stayed that way in near silence and occasional side comment about the news as he allowed her emotions and thoughts to settle. She just moved away from Logan's body as the baby made sounds of stirring, leaving no room for doubt that she expected him to get up with Will. He did and then he returned and she moved back into her spot.

"So what about Samuel," he asked long after the news had ended.

_Samuel, _as in the name her brother had used when first coming to Seattle to check up on her. _She could live with that. _She nodded into his chest.

"William Samuel Cale sounds a little strange, Sam should probably go first," he said some time later.

Her head moved up to look him in the eye, "Don't push it," was all she said before dropping her head back down.

He laughed and rubbed her arm, eliciting a small smile from her and went back to watching the mindless tv.

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**Comments anyone?**  



	2. Part Two

Part Two 

"Where are you going?" he asked with his sleep laden voice, his eyes still shut as his arm held her tighter to him, refusing to allow her departure from his arms.

She smiled as she was pulled in to him and her shoulders were teased with the soft bristles of Logan's chest hair. _Who would have ever thought how much she would love that feeling? _The rest of her squirmed against him as well, eliciting a smile from him as well. _A little easier to explain this feeling,_ she thought, _at least to Kendra._ "Will's awake," she finally explained her failed attempt at sneaking out of his arms_. A sign he must either be more rested or adjusting to life with a newborn, since he hadn't fallen into a deep sleep immediately as he'd been doing for most of the week. _

"I don't hear him," he answered with wandering hands. _A different set of actions causing her to remain in her place this time. _

She smirked, "You will."

He groaned and his hands stopped and instead just pulled her close to him.

A completely and utterly pleased smile crossed her face. _There were no words to describe how lucky she was._

A small groan of disappointment as Will started to make his presence known, followed by a quick squeeze from Logan as he moved away and sat up.

Max half smiled and half pouted as she rolled to her side and moved to stand. A full pout as she looked at the floor, everyday clothes lay there, she'd skipped changing for bed that night, most nights when in this predicament she slid into whatever shirt Logan had worn when wandering around the apartment, but even tonight that wasn't an option, he'd skipped changing too and simply came to bed in his boxer briefs which did her no good. "Damn," she muttered under her breath and left the warmth of the sheets that had been retaining the heat she had felt from Logan's body wrapped around hers.

Logan chuckled watching her cross the room quickly with an extra bounce in her step, he said one word and only one, "Spoiled." The meaning was known to them both, submerged in a frozen lake escaping Manticore the first time without actually having to say the word Manticore and spoil the mood. Now she was complaining about not having protection against a temperature controlled apartment in springtime.

She turned back and gave him a quick glare as she pulled open a drawer, causing his laugh to continue for a moment before it stopped leaving only the sounds of an increasingly hungry newborn.

He suddenly looked forlorn as he looked over at her as she rifled through his drawer.

"What?" she asked as she slipped a simple gray tee-shirt over her head.

"We should probably buy you a robe."

She shook her head and laughed at him, continuing to chuckle as she walked out of the room.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

The next morning:

She was smiling once more wandering around the quiet apartment; a smile hadn't exactly been on her face earlier when Logan had sent her to deal with the seemingly continuously crying baby since he was in the middle of making their omelets. Their leisurely, relaxing weekend breakfast had been decimated for the second day in a row, granted today they'd actually managed to eat together, but with a newborn who started to cry every time he was put down. Logan finally just gave up after two failed attempts and ate breakfast holding him as Max tried not to glower at the kid across from her.

She was smiling now though since Logan had given the proper response to her, 'Any plans for today?' question.

An, "Aren't we going shopping?' as an arm had gone around her to pull her in for a kiss.

Of course the smile also might have fallen for a short time when she was on the phone with Kendra turning down the offer of lunch, rolling her eyes and laughing at her friend's teasing when Will had started to cry and she ducked further away and passed it off as the tv before quickly hanging up.

_She returned to find _ _Logan__ looking at her accusingly. _

_'What?' _

_'The tv?' _

_She just looked at him. _

That had been an hour ago though. Right now she had a contented smile upon her face as Logan went through the kitchen figuring out what they'd need, as he mentally jotted down the things they did have. She didn't poke her head into any cupboards or the fridge though (and not because of any advance intellect), she'd just call out things and he'd either add it to the list, tell her they already had it or tell her they didn't need it.

Trivial, domestic stuff. Really quite pathetic when she thought about it. _ All those eye rolls and sighs of pity for how sad Natalie was because how much joy she got out of being the 'wifey' to Sketch. _And here Max was now, smiling like an idiot.

"I need to call Bling and get the name of his formula guy, we're running low," Logan said butting in on her 'smile time' as she was about to fill a glass of water.

She turned and just looked at him.

"What?"

"Formula guy?" she asked with a smile and a slight chuckle, her face totally aglow.

He turned mildly defensive, "You can't just buy formula from anyone, they cut it with everything nowadays," it was a slight overreaction he was aware, but due in part to the fact that he'd played the role of housewife for a full week. "Do you read anything I write?" he questioned a moment later remembering he'd written an article on the subject a few months back.

She laughed and smiled, "Powdered formula that was actually more cornstarch and flour than formula, three kids died, they think the flour was tainted which is why the kids died instead of just got sick," she finished with a 'so there' look. _ Poor kids nowadays, actually poor everyone who didn't have the constitution of an ox. _She was amazed there was anyone left still alive with a food allergy; of course she hadn't met anyone in awhile with a severe one…

He smiled, "So why'd you laugh?"

"Bling has a formula guy?"

He looked puzzled and then laughed, "I don't ask why, I'm just going to be happy he does."

"What about Gianni?" Gianni, as in the owner of the small market they tended to pick up their boxed and canned goods from, there had never been a question of his quality before.

Another thoughtful look from Logan, "He sells formula?"

She laughed, "Right next to the diapers Logan." _How had he missed that? Oh right feminine products, it really was true all men stopped and turned around at that point. _ Another laugh.

The pen raised in the air for a second before dropping to the pad, "We need diapers too. We can pick up some more disposables until we can get the cloth kind."

Max stopped herself from laughing…._Yea definitely no way in hell Sketchy was going to be doing any of this in six months._

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Max felt her attitude returning, a certain wariness as they entered the crowded marketplace, a sea of different colored tents and smells filing the environment.

All had gone well at the apartment, Logan packed a diaper bag, asked Max to grab the stroller as he got Will loaded into the carrier…It had been a seamless event. Just like the car ride, it hadn't really been out of the ordinary. Then they parked less than a block away and out came the stroller…And Logan's hands on the stroller. Both hands pushing the light green stroller.

_"Why'd Bling get a pink stroller?" she asked pulling up with it as _ _Logan__ was straping Will into the carrier. _

_"What are you talking about?" he turned looking confused, "It's," his eyes flickered over to the hood, "sage?" _

_She laughed, "I mean the frame, its pink." She hadn't really noticed it until just then, especially since it had been out of her sight for days. _

_He was about to completely discount her when he looked at the frame, a moment of being puzzled, before looking up with confidence. "That's just the light and the walls; they're reflecting oddly, its cream." _

_"You sure about that?" she asked with a smile. _

_He nodded through his uncertainty. It had definitely been cream when he'd put it together, at least he thought it had been cream. _

Logan had been right mostly, though she still wouldn't describe it as cream…however, the color no longer mattered to her, but instead the location of his hands. Both of them firmly attached to the handle.

She was insane she realized as she became aware of the fact that she was jealous of a kid who was less than a week old. _Or wait actually…He was a week today right_? It suddenly occurred to her that not only was she jealous of a kid that was supposed to be her son, she knew nothing about him. The most basic of things, when he was born, she didn't know. She assumed he was born last Sunday since Logan had come home on Monday.

No time of birth, no weight, hell wasn't even positive of his birth date and she was supposed to be his mother.

She was supposed to be his mother and she wasn't sure she didn't hate him.

As soon as that thought came to her mind so did the flash of guilt. _Wasn't his fault._ Zack's death, Manticore, even the fact that Logan was repeatedly ignoring her for him wasn't his fault. He was a baby.

Didn't change it though.

Weekend shopping meant on and off hand holding, an arm casually flung around her, gentle hugs, not two hands on the handle and none on her.

She felt like a petulant child, but this was it. **They** were over. They were over and no one thought to give her advance warning. No 'this will be the last time you lounge on the sofa for five uninterrupted hours,' no days spent entirely in bed with only short runs to the bathroom or kitchen. **They **were over. And Will apparently had no idea that three really was a crowd, then again she seemed to be the extra body in this group.

Out of nowhere an arm interrupted her thoughts and draped itself over her shoulders and pulled her in to him.

_Pathetic Max,_ she told herself as Logan walked with one arm draped around her and the other pushed the stroller not separating until they reached the first stand.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Why are you trying to keep me from the penthouse?" Syl paused in her task of pulling on her boots to look at Krit.

"I'm not, I just thought you'd rather go get some dinner," _How was it he'd been taught to lie to everyone but his girlfriend? _

"We're broke," she pointed out; granted not flat ass broke, but pretty close to it, "remember you spent your last two paychecks getting new tires?"

_Last two paychecks and then some,_ he thought with a glimmer of pain, _focus Krit, _his mind reminded. "Not so broke that we can't get dinner," _especially since _ _Logan__ better be paying me back. _

"What's going on?" she asked as she stood stomping her foot into its final position leaning down tugging the tops up and her pants down.

"Nothing, just thought you might want to grab some dinner."

"I want to see my sister," she said moving out of the room.

"Come on," he followed her out of the room and down the stairs, "you know how they are on the weekend; you probably don't want to go over there."

She paused and looked up at him, "They're like that all the time, what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," he answered with a shake.

Her only response was a wry face and she turned back and finished heading down the stairs.

_New tactic, _"Okay well you have fun," he flopped on the couch, "maybe I'll head over to Crash later."

She walked back in, now adjusting her coat, "Try not to blow the rest of my paycheck," she joked.

"Can't make any promises," _oh yea, this would work; _he stretched out on the sofa.

"Yea well I **can **promise to kick your ass later," she picked her keys off the tv he'd just flicked on, "I'll tell Max and Logan you said hi."

"Oh come on," he cajoled suddenly shooting up and grabbing her hand, "you don't really want to leave me here all alone." He tugged on her hand and pulled her down on top of him.

"Really do, unless you want to give me the real reason behind not wanting me over there," she paused for a moment focusing deep into the eyes that were so eerily similar to their sister's, searching out their secret.

He acted as if he didn't understand what she meant and his hands tried to slip in under her shirt.

A quick push away and a stand, "Really not going to tell me?"

"Syl," he stood, "I swear, there's nothing to tell."

"Leaving," she turned.

_Dammit, dammit, dammit, _he thought watching her heading towards their back door and her bike, "Syl," he finally called out.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

_Most people would probably find this cute,_ she thought from the corner of the living room, Logan and Max stretched out together on the sofa. _Most, but not her._ Syl was used to seeing it, _everyone_ was used to seeing it, it caused a varying range of emotions occasionally still, from jealously, to distain, to pity. They were cute to the average passerby, the rest of them were generally just used to it.

Truthfully, she had no idea how Max spent so much time with Logan, then again she'd been separated from Krit for only a few brief years of their lives. She'd kill him within a day if she spent as much 'quality time' as Max did with Logan.

_Damn, now that she was here she had no idea what to say. _

'Max is screwed up,' Krit had repeated that several times. That and 'Cute kid.' Seriously, the guy was lucky he was 'cute,' it was the only reason to explain why they were together half the time. She'd also heard, 'Go easy on her.'

She didn't really feel like going easy on her though. _She_ just kept it to herself for nine months that there was still a little piece of Zack floating around out there. _What right did she have to think that was her call to make?_

_Speaking of the kid, where the hell was he?_ Her eyes flickered around the room looking for that basinet Krit had kept mumbling about. _If they had done anything with him…_She started walking.

Their eyes both shot over to the sound of Syl's angry footsteps.

"We need a better security system," Max said casually before letting her eyes roll back to the tv.

"I've been talking to Sebastian about a fingerprint pad," he nodded, "hey Syl." He stopped for a moment and looked down at Max, "I thought **you **were our security system?"

She shrugged and didn't look particularly apologetic as she pushed away from him. "Where's Krit?" She asked swinging her legs off the couch.

"My guess is trying to figure a way out of the handcuffs without ripping out the radiator," she replied calmly. _That would teach him to think twice about lying to her. At least she hadn't turned on the heat like she'd threatened to. _

"That's my cue to check on dinner," Logan said following Max's lead of swinging his legs off the couch. _He knew better than to try to interfere with any sisters, especially these. _

Syl waited until Logan left the room as Max casually remained on the edge of the couch looking over at her, her expression giving away nothing, _Krit really could use some pointers from her. _"Rumor has it I have a nephew, saw the stroller, but don't see a kid."

"He was sleeping, didn't make any sense to move him from the kitchen."

"You left him in the kitchen?" her voice elevated a decibel, she said as she started to quickly leave the room. "What is he a fish?"

Max's hand was around her sister's forearm before Syl even realized she moved. "Watch your voice," Max spoke with a deadly seriousness that informed her sister she wasn't kidding. "He's not a fish and he's not a doll, he's a baby and he's asleep, you're not going to upset him because you're a little cranky."

"Says the woman who wanted to give him to strangers," her voice lowered to a harsh whisper.

"Yea well I didn't, did I?" Granted that was Logan, but it still didn't change the fact that he was still here and he was staying.

"But you were going to, you were going to give away my nephew without every telling us he existed," _did Max really not get just how big that was? _

"Tell you what, when there's a kid out there who has half of your dna you can make all the calls on him, but this one doesn't. This is my life," she paused, "mine and Logan's, we get to make the decisions in it."

Syl just shook her head and shook her arm free of her sister and started to walk away. "You know you're not the only one who's had a rough time," she turned back, "we all lost Zack, its not yours alone."

* * *

Thanks for reading everyone! 


	3. Part Three

** Okay so it has occurred to me (not for the first time) that I have a problem with shopping because my shopping chapter totally ran away from me. I'm sorry, feel free to skim (not that you aren't always free to do that :-P ). Why are baby things so damn cute? Thanks for reading! **

* * *

Part Three 

She sat in the kitchen staring down, into the bassinet at the sleeping newborn and wondered exactly what the hell she had gotten into.

_"Yea, thanks…No that's great…Now are you sure…" laughter, "Yea no I've got everything. Thanks Chris…Yea I'll call her." _

_Max pouted having absolutely no idea what was going on behind the screen, what _ _Logan__'s phone call meant. She slid open the door, "Who are you calling and why?" She had no qualms about being nosey, no need to think twice about it. _

_Logan__ stopped dialing and hit end on the phone and dropped it and the piece of paper with the number down to the desk. "Chris gave me the number of the daycare his family uses." _

Daycare, right. _Logan__ wouldn't be staying home with the newborn forever. "Oh," she nodded and walked over picking up the small yellow piece of scrap. "Aunt Martha's?" she said the name with distaste. _

_"I didn't name the place; they did a lot of research before putting their daughter in it. Seems to be a pretty decent place." _

_Another look at the paper and the figure underneath the phone number, "Is that for the week?" _

_"Actually that's for the day, there's a price break if you pay in advance." _

_"A day?" Max's eyes widened once more looking down at the number, "That's about ten bucks less than I normally make in a day." _

_"What can I say; you got into the wrong line of work." _Actually come to think of it, maybe he did as well; they took care of what four or five kids apiece…

_"That's insane," she shook her head. _

_He shrugged his shoulders, "Not going to fight you on that one, but what can we do." _

That's when her spendthrift ways had kicked in. Them paying someone to take care of Will for almost the same amount she earned on an average day was stupid.

That was then though, this was today.

It had been a knee-jerk reaction to the price and it had been so strong that she had barely even paid attention to Logan as he was assuring her that they could easily afford the daycare and she didn't need to stay home.

She hadn't really thought about what she would do all day. Home all day in the apartment without Logan.

In the penthouse with the kid in the lime green jammies.

_Seriously what the hell had she gotten herself into? _

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Max come in yet?" OC asked Sky as she was heading in from her run and he was heading out.

"Not that I've seen," he said flipping a leg over his bike and heading off.

She frowned; _this was late even for Max._

"Where the hell is my boo?" Original Cindy asked Sketchy as her eyes went from the closed locker to the entrance.

"Maybe she finally wised up and quit," he flicked his head over to Normal, "don't know why she puts up with that guy when she doesn't have to."

"What do you want Max to do sit around like a little socialite? Going to fundraisers and tea-parties?"

"Man that sounds like the life to me," Sketch sighed and flipped back to stretch out across the bench and dream.

A shake of her head, she headed over towards Normal, "Max call you?"

"Oh that's right," he looked up with disinterest, "I was supposed to tell you she quit. Family emergency, said she'd explain it to you after work. Now get back out there," he handed over another package.

"Max quit?"

"That's what I said," he didn't bother looking up, his pen continuing to move over papers.

"Taking my lunch," she said shoving the package back at him.

"Hey, it's only 10:30," he called out looking down at his watch.

"Don't care," she turned with a shake not at all caring about giving him back anything but attitude, "you want to break in two new riders?"

It was a good threat since 3 out of 4 new hires didn't last two weeks and he still wasn't finished breaking in the last new rider, "Make it snappy"

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"You quit?" Original Cindy said as the door opened. "Just up and quit without telling me? What's wrong? Who's after you this time?"

"No one's after me," she couldn't figure out whether to sigh or laugh by her friend's harried appearance, nice to know she was loved, but now she had to tell her.

"Ya quit," she said trying to come to terms with it as she walked into the apartment stopping in the foyer to study Max and figure out what was going on.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," she nodded.

"And it doesn't now? I know Normal's a regular old stick up the…well you know what,"

She smiled, _okay here it goes…_

And there it stayed frozen in her throat.

"Why is there a stroller in your apartment?" OC asked seeing the green and cream 'road hog' as Logan kept calling it yesterday, since it took up more than its fair share of room.

"Oh you know, went shoppin' like normal yesterday, decided to pick up a kid…" she smiled.

OC laughed.

Max's smile fell away, "Actually Logan brought him home last week."

OC laughed again and then paused as Max wasn't laughing. "Got a kid as in poopin', screamin' kind?"

Max nodded, "That's actually a pretty apt description of him," an uneven smile.

"You know you don't actually pick up a kid like a bag of chips right?"

Max gave a shaky smile and breath.

"You're jokin' right boo?"

Max's face fell completely; _she really wished she was,_ "He's in the living room."

Original Cindy shook her head and laughed uncertainly, _All gonna be one big joke, _she thought heading that way.

"There's a kid," she said blankly with her mouth open upon seeing a gray plaid carrier sitting on the coffee table with a small baby inside, wearing striped lime green and white jammies. _Aww look at that hair, _she thought with a small smile seeing the dark tuft upon his head.

"I noticed that," Max said allowing some of the fright to come through.

"Why is there a baby?" she asked as they stood next to each other just staring at the baby.

"Kinda mine…sorta," she explained.

OC turned for that, "Gonna have to explain that one Max, definitely would have noticed if that," a quick finger flick towards the baby, "was in there," it moved to Max's stomach.

"Remember my brother, Zack?"

_Oh she had a feeling she was going to regret asking this question._ She nodded.

"Manticore decided for kicks to take a little of me and a little of him and create," she nodded towards Will.

"What the hell kind of psychos are these people?"

"Asked myself that many a time," she smiled, almost.

She turned back towards Will, "How'd you get the kid?"

Max shrugged, "I don't know. Logan found the surrogate…"

"Huh," OC released a breath.

"Uh huh," Max nodded, totally looking more like a little kid at this point than someone's 'mommy.'

"What are you supposed to do with a baby?"

"No idea," Max nodded and swallowed hard.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

It took OC a few more minutes to say anything concrete. She asked where Logan was, Max explained that he had to get back to work. She told OC the baby's name, OC smiled at the Wilbur comment and said "Suits him." She failed miserably when trying to convince Cindy she didn't need company and it would be okay for her to go back to work.

A quick phone call to Normal and barely even a single funny comment later they were sitting on the couch, now staring at him from a new angle.

Will was out for the count having been fed and changed shortly before Max opened the door for Cindy.

"What color are his eyes?"

"Blue," Max answered, "books say that could change." _She didn't think they would, but it was possible._

She nodded. "What color you going to paint his nursery?"

_Nursery? _

"Which room you gonna use?"

"He wakes up every two hours, why would we put him on the opposite side of the apartment?"

"It's what people do," she corrected herself, "did." Though Max and Logan lived a pretty pre-Pulse life, _Good place, good car, good food, good clothes…_

"He's good in the bassinet, he likes it." _At least he hadn't complained about it yet. _

"Doesn't have a crib?"

She shook her head, "Bassinet so he's close by."

"No crib?" she made a face, all babies had cribs when she was little. Nowadays might be more drawers for most, but Max and Logan could afford a crib.

Max shook her head.

"Changing table?"

"Use the bed or the coffee table; we've got this roll out thing."

"What _does _the kid have?" she asked looking over.

"That thing, bassinet, stroller, two sling things, bottles, formula, diapers, clothes."

"That's all?"

"It's enough."

"What about the fun stuff?"

"Like what Cyn, he's a baby."

"There are toys," she defended.

"He's week old," Max pointed out.

"There are mobiles-"

"Got one on the bassinet," a head flick over.

"Just doesn't seem like enough stuff," she frowned_. Kids were supposed to take over your life and not be neatly tucked away like bassinet was. _

"It is," Max promised.

"He even have a cap? Some sunglasses? What about an obscene tee-shirt?"

"He's a week old OC," _how many times was she going to have to say that? _

"Hmm," she said through pursed lips, "need to have some fun with the kid."

_Fun with Will…Yea right. _

His eyes flickered open.

"Haha, see he knows what I'm talking about. Your momma trying to gyp you out of not only your own room, but cool clothes…cause no offense, but lime green?" Original Cindy smiled as her fingers went to let the baby out.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

_How did I let her talk me into this _Max wondered as she stood in the front of 'Small Wonders,' a baby boutique that a fling of OC's worked at. Original Cindy had been persistent; swearing to Max Manticore wasn't going to find them because of one small shopping trip, the city was still a city and had plenty of baby stores and most would assume someone trying to stay hidden would go the cash-paying, low-budget route versus boutique. Manticore would be as likely to find them through this as they were through diapers or formula, the key was to act natural though.

And natural to OC meant changing Max's clothes into dowdier shapeless clothes. 'What are you doing?' Max asked walking in on Cindy rifling through her drawers after leaving Max to fend for herself with a dirty diaper.

'Your man is entirely too tall, all of these would be dresses on you,' she shut his drawer.

'Still not answering my question,'

'He doesn't have anything smaller?'

'There are some I shrunk; they're in with my underwear.'

'Ah,' Cindy said opening the drawer and raising a shirt, 'this'll do.'

'Do for what?'

Another drawer opened, tan baggy cropped pants were tossed on the bed along with the shirt.

'No one's going to believe you just had a kid if you look like that,' she took in Max's fitted gray sweat pants and cropped black tank.

'That's because I didn't.'

'Yes, but they don't know that.'

So here she was a short bus ride later in her baggy outfit and sloppy low ponytail attempting to look like a new mom, Cindy had pointed out at least she already had the smudges beneath her eyes to help their story. OC and her friend were now laughing over Max waiting till the last minute. "Girl kept puttin' it off and puttin' it off then boom, next thing you know the kid's here. Decided he's had enough of his Momma's procrastinating and decided to come early."

Max was thumbing through a rack of clothing attempting to look interested.

"Hey Max," OC said walking over.

_Damn, should have told her to use a different name. _

"This is Camilla."

"Hi," she smiled extending a hand. "Your little boy is absolutely adorable."

_Smile Max, _she ordered herself and could see OC doing the same, _"Thanks."_

"Do you guys want to look around a little on your own or do you want some help?"

"I think we'll look around a little on our own," Original Cindy supplied.

"Okay well just yell when you want me, the books in the corner," she pointed to a cozy little sitting area, "have the cribs and changing tables we have in stock, also most of our bedding sets. The original designs are hanging against that wall."

They both nodded.

"Any questions just let me know," she smiled even brighter.

"Will do," Max nodded and gripped the handle.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"We should go," Max said low and under her breath once they moved away.

"If we go know, it'll look funny. Now just shop," Original Cindy ordered.

Max tried to feign interest in shopping, but it wasn't going very well. Cindy kept picking up things and Max kept pointing out the impracticalities of it. "Why does he need swim trunks?"

"It's summer."

"Put them down," Max said with a shake of her head.

Max conceded on the black onesie that said, _'Really, if it was all supposed to be so easy, why is there a formula involved, huh?'_ The blue Che one because of Logan's.

"You know I love you like a sister and all, but you're aware we're not actually related right?" Max asked as Cindy added an _'If you think I'm cute you should see my aunt.'_

"I don't care, I'm still cute," she shook her head.

Max started to smile.

A _'Question Authority' _was added for Logan.

Max paused at the _'Whose your daddy?'_ and almost bolted out of the store.

Smiled again for the_ 'Hazardous Waste'_ sign over another's butt.

Laughed at Cindy's _'Eat, Poop, Sleep.'_

Shook her head at the _'Mommy's Little Piggy,'_ then watched as Cindy added it anyway.

Cindy also tossed in an,_ 'My Mama drinks because I cry,'_ that Max was pretty sure was going to come true.

_'Boy,' _was added, "What you don't think they can figure it out on their own?" Max asked.

A few more were added in sizes larger than Will was now, since Bling and Logan had already come up with a decent amount on their own.

She tossed in an _'Army: Pee all that you can pee!'_ with a slight sense of payback at the last minute.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

"Cribs," Cindy ordered and took over Max's stroller duties.

"He really doesn't need one," Max tried to convince her.

"He doesn't need one now, but in a few months the kid's going to be too big for the bassinet, might as well have it all lined up."

_A few months… _

"Now let's see," Original Cindy sat in an easy chair grabbing one of the books off the table. "Something cherry or mahogany, gotta be a dark wood if it's gonna be in your room for awhile."

"Cherry's got too much red," Max said taking a seat and checking on Will with a single finger. _Totally conked out._

"That boy certainly made decorating difficult with that paneling," she shook her head as she went through page after page of light or orangey wood.

Max smiled and readjusted the blanket.

Cindy smiled looking over and went back to her task, "Oooh walnut. That's like the color of your dining room set."

Max looked over and nodded, "Not so frilly though," she said seeing the scrolling knobs of the crib Cindy was looking at.

_Mission, Shaker, Sleigh…_Max heard every single name and was forced to look at every single picture by OC who kept accusing her of looking away. Max finally gave up and picked, since OC kept refusing to do it herself. She went with Mission the simplest of the sturdiest looking ones.

"Manufactured or homemade bedding?" Cindy asked raising the next book.

Max sighed.

"We'll go with the locals, Logan seems like the type to support the community."

"I support the community," Max replied with a face now standing to follow Cindy.

"Uh huh boo," she nodded, "now help me look."

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

If Max hadn't already been shot once and realized it really wasn't all it was cracked up to be, she would have said the words aloud,** 'Shoot me!' **

They went through all the blankets, once and then twice. Then moved onto the book.

Nothing, absolutely nothing baby related went with their apartment she realized and thought that was a damn good sign that she and Logan shouldn't have a kid, they, well she just wasn't meant for it and the penthouse definitely proved it.

"Okay, you gotta rip down those squares," Original Cindy said with a sigh, "that or accept that your designer perfect penthouse will never match again."

"There has to be something that matches," Max said moving back onto the homemade blankets.

"Nope," Cindy made a face. "We could go green and match the stroller at least," she pulled out a light green blanket.

"Permanent Christmas," was all that Max said.

The blanket quickly fell from her fingers.

More words were spoken to her, Patchwork, Quilted, numerous words were used that Max thought meant the same thing, but apparently did not. Original Cindy weighed the pros and cons of each aloud. Asked questions, 'Animals? No animals? Barnyard? Safari?

Actually those two words were starting to seem a lot better right around then.

"That's the third time you went back to that one," Cindy said seeing her pull out the same blanket.

"It's cute," Max shrugged.

_Finally! That girl could be seriously dense for someone so smart, _"Then that's what we're getting." OC lifted it off the rack and studied the cream colored blanket edged in a minty-sage green with a large teddy sleeping happily under his own blanket.

"But it's green."

Pursed lips, _Seriously if she thought she had a shot in hell of winning, she'd beat the girl. _Her eyes squinted to see the picture resting inside the plastic bag protecting the blanket. The bed-skirt and bumper were cream, it wouldn't be too bad. "You'll live," she ordered.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

Logan walked into the living room with a tilted head, things were scattered about everywhere. Boxes, bags, clothing, toys…

"Hey Logan," Cindy smiled from the couch where she was putting a freshly laundered Che onesie on Will.

Max looked up from the floor, mid-putting together what looked like a swing. "We went shopping," she informed with slightly annoyed looking eyes.

"I can see that," he nodded surveying the damage done to the room.

"Everything else is being delivered on Wednesday."

He nodded again. _There was more? _

"This little pig went to the market," Cindy smiled and gently grabbed Will's big toe once she was done dressing him. "This little pig stayed home….This little pig had roast beef…This little pig had none…This little pig cried "Wee, wee, wee, wee!" All the way home," she ended with picking him up and cuddling him close to her.

"Here you go Daddy," Cindy said with an outstretched hand now containing the used diaper and Logan realized she was addressing him, "that's your job. Well that and paying for all this," she smiled.

Logan simply nodded and walked over to grab it.


	4. Part Four

AN: Seriously this is like the dullest story ever. Like all Max and very dull day to day life stuff. :-

Sorry?

(This is why we should never encourage me to continue after the end of a story bc I always will even when I shouldn't).

* * *

**Part Four **

Her hand tightened around the blanket.

Coarse, stiff

She could see and feel the coldness of her environment before she even opened her eyes.

_Manticore. _

They opened quickly as she sprung into action. Her mind focused crystal clear despite her confusion.

Up on her feet and ready for anything.

She had seemingly flown out bed.

She was alone though.

Her eyes continued to scan, searching for something out of the ordinary, anything to explain this as her ears craned for the slightest of noises.

ooOoo

Her eyes shot open.

"Uhhh," was the low groan that emerged from Logan's lips as the warm arm she'd been using as a pillow shifted.

A newborn's wail filled the background.

"It's okay," she patted his arm lightly as she moved to slowly get out of bed. "I got him."

Another murmur from him as his head rolled into the pillow.

ooOoo

Another day, another what the hell had she been thinking. Same as yesterday, she sat atop the stool and stared down at him.

Swaddled today when yesterday he hadn't been.

"Don't feel safe with me do you kiddo?" she asked softly "…I don't blame you," her voice barely above a whisper.

With Logan he was fine. With her he apparently needed the extra security of having his legs wrapped. Why his legs and not his arms? Max didn't know that either. Just that when Logan was around he'd been happy being free. With her, he needed the extra security and Original Cindy had been the one to show and tell her how as she kept repeatedly mentioning he didn't like it. She'd been wrong.

Just another few checks in the long list of things proving she wasn't meant to be this kid's mother, let alone with full-time caregiver. Yet she hadn't taken the out Logan had offered her yesterday.

_'Maybe you quitting work wasn't the best idea…Ten/twenty bucks a day could certainly help put a dent in this,' he said as he tried to figure out a place to put away Will's new things for the time being. _

Why didn't she listen to him?

_His arms came around her from behind, 'This isn't something you have to do overnight you know. It can take time. No one will think any less of you for it.' _

_She didn't scoff like she wanted to, no that would validate his words and push this on to the point of an argument. Her sister, her brother, and her best friend…Yea right no one would judge, they already had. _

She was conflicted between wanting Will to wake up so she'd have something to do and desperately wanting for him to remain asleep since she had no real idea what to do with him.

Trapped in the apartment…Caged like an animal with someone who not only couldn't communicate couldn't do anything but cry.

She'd known to take extra care once Logan returned with Will.

She already avoided the hover drones, but she'd taken to actively avoiding the cops on foot patrol. Asking for a few packages in one sector instead of her normal bs route so she wouldn't have to go through any more check points than necessary.

She was pretty sure those had been unnecessary steps, one of Logan's contacts would have informed him if her face was on yet another most wanted poster.

They'd come soon. She knew that. She wasn't sure if Logan's people or even Lydecker's would be able to spot them. They could have wised up, sent in a few individuals instead of their normal convoy. Stay under the radar…

Made a person more than slightly paranoid…Always looking over her shoulder…It had taken months for her to relax even slightly the first time around…She didn't know when would be the next time she'd be able to take a worry free breath.

Yea staying indoors definitely seemed like a good plan. Definitely the safest route to follow. Aside from the fact that she wasn't exactly sure she could outmaneuver an X-5 carrying a baby she sure as hell didn't want to have to make another trip to 'Small Wonders' to replace the stroller she'd most likely have to ditch.

Yea staying low seemed like the way to go when she thought about it…

_Just really really boring…_She thought with a tap of her fingers against her thighs staring out for a moment before hopping off the stool.

ooOoo

"You know, I knew Logan had you whipped, but I would have never guessed this much," Krit said viewing his sister on the floor cleaning out underneath the fridge.

_Dammit, _she'd thought upon his first word, _what good was she going to be in keeping them from Manticore in the real world, if an X-5 could get the jump on her in her own place. _"Yea well it's got to be done." And it had been done, less than a week ago…Just like everything else she'd done in the apartment.

"Yea well, you could certainly use to give your sister a few lessons," he said all while making a face leaning over Will as his fingers went out to tickle him.

Max rolled her eyes at the scene before her and wondered how long until Will broke out with a cry from the psychotic above him. The comment about Syl's desire to let their place lean more towards a pig sty than 'Better Home and Gardens' was in defiance too all those years of military corners probably would have made her smile if she and her sister had managed more than two forced words for the rest of Sunday. "You're going to scare him," she said watching his fingers go to and fro Will's awakening form.

He made an appalled joking face, "No I'm not…" His hands went out again, "Willie here knows his Uncle Krit's just playing," he scooped the baby up close to him.

"Kid's afraid of his own feet," Max said with rolled eyes standing with the dustpan.

ooOoo

"Oh man," Krit said as he rifled through a few onesies he'd pulled out from underneath the basinet as they sat in the living room doing a whole lot of nothing, "these are great."

_Ah simple minds,_ Max thought with a smile.

He frowned a moment later and dug around the basket again to see if he'd missed any. He turned with the 'If you think I'm cute you should see my aunt' "Where's mine?"

"Sorry they were all out of if you think I'm annoying you should meet my uncle," she said picking up a magazine to flip through.

He frowned and leaned into the blue bouncer Will was resting in on the coffee table, "Hey'd she just say we were annoying?"

"And she's going to say it again, Krit you can go home. Kid's fine, I'm fine."

"No one ever said you weren't. There's a hell of a lot more to do here than there is at my house. We get three channels Max."

"So get cable and get out." It was sweet really, her brother worrying about her getting cabin fever after less than two days without work, sweet but really fuckin' annoying and if she found out Logan had anything to do with it she was going to make him regret it.

"Come on Maxie, what would you be doing without me? The kid's constantly asleep."

"Hmm sleep now there's an idea."

He frowned as he got up, "You can sleep with me here."

She rolled her eyes and leaned back into the chair once more reading.

A finger swung a brightly colored fish on the mobile attached the cradle/swing on the opposite side of the room. Their place not only having been over taken by bright primary colors but fishes galore as was now their theme with three pieces of furniture. OC had even talked her into getting a matching high chair despite the fact that they wouldn't need it for months. _Yup their place now looked like Romper Room. _

Soon it would invade their bedroom. Crib, dresser, changing table, rocking chair, some weird diaper thing that was supposed to hold in the smell.

_"Kid doesn't smell," she pointed out as Cindy and Camilla were adding it to the never ending list. _

_They'd both just laughed. "That's going to change real quick," Camilla quickly informed her. _

A nine day old kid now had more things then she'd managed to amass in her entire life or at least he would on Thursday when everything was being delivered since it had to be picked up from various locations across the city, apparently they'd formed some type of cooperative to support their business, which meant their was no nice little store room in the back for all the big things.

Then again maybe steps were nice. There probably wouldn't have been any room for them in the apartment yesterday if they'd gotten it all at once. Robbie's eyes had almost bugged out when he'd come outside after seeing them step out of the cab and Max had to suffer through the indignity of having him pull out a dolly and take it all up for her when she knew she could have easily carried it all herself.

ooOoo

"Seriously," Max said looking up with fierce eyes, "you're hovering."

He took a step back from the island where she was slicing a pepper, "Well what else do you want me to do?"

"Go home," she replied just as she had for the rest of the day.

"Are you kidding, I just sliced and cleaned an entire bird, I'm staying for dinner."

"You did that on your own no one ever asked you," she pointed out.

"Point is it guarantees me dinner," he walked away to check on Will who had now rotated in all of his new toys and was sleeping in the cradle/swing.

"Not with me it doesn't," she replied with a short point of the knife. "Will you stop messing with him. He's asleep."

He frowned looking down then over at her, "You sure he's supposed to sleep this much?"

"I showed you the paragraph in the book; they basically sleep through the first few weeks unless they want something."

"Still though, seems like the kid's sleeping an awful lot," a hand reached out to feel the baby's head for at least the fifth time.

"Back away from the baby," she ordered with a raise of the knife.

"Ha," he said with glee, "he's awake."

Max let out a long annoyed sigh as Krit went to extract Will from all the straps.

ooOoo

"Hey," Logan said walking into the kitchen finding Max alone in it standing over the stove and a wok.

"Hey yourself," she turned back with a smile.

"We're eating this early?" he asked looking down at his watch, it was just past six.

"Yea well had to keep the knife busy otherwise I was going to plunge it into my brother's back," she smiled as his arms went around her waist to look down at the food and kiss her hello.

"Hmm good reason," he nodded.

"That and he said he was staying for dinner, if I'd known that at 2, I would have started cooking then."

Logan laughed.

"Hey Logan," Krit said walking into the room still carrying Will, whom he'd refused to put down once he woke up, despite having long been fast asleep once more. "Maxie been telling you about our fun filled day?"

"The one you're lucky to have lived through?" he asked turning.

"Aww come on Max, it wasn't that bad."

"Wanna bet?" she asked with raised eyebrows though never bothering to turn.

"You know don't listen to her Logan. Girl goes stir crazy alone. Hell if you hadn't come home on Monday, we were about to go chasing after you."

Max turned for that, turned and gave her brother a look similar to the one Syl had given him right before he'd ended up handcuffed to the radiator for over an hour.

"I'm going to go put Will down," he said quickly.

Logan laughed again, "Smart move."

ooOoo

"Ah alone, finally," Max said as Logan's arms came around her from behind, quickly followed by his lips upon her neck as he returned from walking Krit to the door following dinner and the obligatory small talk afterwards.

Max let out a whimper and leaned back into Logan's arms quickly when Will started crying within seconds of her finishing her sentence.

"Is it just me or does that kid have the world's worst sense of timing?" Logan asked what he'd been thinking all week.

"Figured out Manticore's evil plan I think," she said with closed eyes holding onto Logan's arms refusing to let him go, "you never wondered why it was so easy to take him?"

He chuckled briefly and kissed her cheek before he moved to go. "Umm Max," he said upon finding himself near super glued to his girlfriend, "you've got to let me go." He looked down with focused eyes upon her death grasp which he had very little chance of getting out of unless she allowed him to.

She groaned and let go.

ooOoo

"On your feet 452!"

Max shot up and out of bed without a moment's hesitation confronted with _those_ eyes outside of her door.

"You're improving," she said with a nod. "That's good to see, who knows maybe there is hope for you yet. Doubtful though," her head bobbed quickly. She turned, "Open her door," she turned back, "I've got a surprise for her."

* * *

** Thanks for reading!**  



	5. Part Five

**AN:** Still very uneventful and unexciting. Thanks for reading anyway:-P

**Oh and don't forget you can agree/disagree with me over in the "Blah Blah Woof Woof" forum by clicking on the forum link in the right hand corner of the main DA page. **

* * *

**  
**

**Part Five **

Her eyes opened as her heart contained its pounding.

Will awake…Not loud though, Logan was still in a deep sleep next to her.

She slid out of his grasp and his hand barely searched for her before he quickly returned to full slumber.

She allowed her eyes to go to him instead of the baby she was gently lifting into her arms. The back of an unexciting blue shirt, his hair now oddly flattened from where he'd turned, a hand now clutching the blanket instead of her.

_How quickly she was forgotten, _she thought with a wry smile.

Mundane…Ordinary…Perfect.

Perfect and it was hers.

This was her life now and no one would take it away from her.

ooOoo

'Max don't forget to tip. Envelope. Top drawer,' he said as he was once more anxiously getting ready with Will in his arms.

She smirked, his nerves amused her, his mother hen reaction upon having to leave Will. _Dead to the world in the middle of the night when he cried, but leaving him in the morning…"_ Logan-" she just looked at him. After all tips had been her bread and butter for many…well almost two years.

"Don't forget to tip whoever brings them up," he said as she went to forcefully extract the baby from his arms and he realized it was time to relinquish.

"Why you always over tip them," she asked. She'd always been shocked to see what he gave them on a normal basis, but after seeing what they got for Christmas…

"Happy people don't ask questions Max," he continued on with their conversation as he took a final sip of coffee.

_Happy people were making all the dough for pressing a button. The world made no sense. _

"Max," he looked at her when she didn't respond.

"Fine, but I still think it's a waste of money," she conceded while returning Will the bassinet.

"Hmm you know I could make a really chauvinistic comment right now," he said wrapping and arm around her for a final kiss.

"Hmm," she said against pressed lips, "but you're not cause I can still kick your ass." Her lips twitched up in a smile, "Maybe I should talk to Charlie about installing a radiator."

Logan chuckled as he turned.

ooOoo

" Logan do you really such little faith in my ability to tip that you had to come home early?" Max called out open hearing his exo coming down the quiet halls.

He laughed, but then froze upon entering the room. "Wow," Logan was all he said as he once more found their living room once more over taken with things.

"Told you," she said hopping to her feet, "Original Cindy went insane."

He returned the kiss she greeted him with as an arm slid around his waist. "When'd they come?"

"Bout twenty minutes ago."

"And you already have the crib assembled?"

"Actually, the kid was crying. That only took about ten."

He made a mental note to never mention how long it had taken him to put together the bassinet.

"So don't suppose you came for a nooner did ya?" her lips twitched with a smile and he was once more confronted with reality and a situation he didn't want to face.

"I suppose I could be talked into one," he smiled back.

"If I have to talk you into one, I'm doing something wrong," she laughed.

His hands lowered and tightened.

"Too late mister," she joked. "So any opinion on this highly overpriced and completely unnecessary stuff?"

"You did good," he smiled and kissed her head softly.

"Good answer. I'm still having nightmares about the differences between mission and shaker."

"Should I ask what's the difference?"

"One's called shaker and the other's mission," she gave a brief, all knowing nod.

Another laugh.

"So why are you home in the middle of the day?"

He sighed and dropped his head down, "Max-"

"They're here aren't they," her voice was suddenly dead.

"Yea," he nodded quickly.

She quickly turned out of his arms and went over to the sealed mattress and started tearing off the plastic, going back to setting everything up.

"They haven't gotten involved with the local police yet, Matt said he'd let me know if he heard anything," he said as he simply stood back and watched her keep herself occupied by flinging the mattress into the crib.

She didn't say anything as she walked out of the room and towards the small laundry area off the guest room.

He followed. "My sources say it looks like they have about twenty people in the city. He's going to get back to me as soon as he comes up with anything else."

Her hands clasped the sides of the laundry basket with the sheets that had been waiting since Monday.

"Sebastian's trying to get a line on getting access to their communication."

Back towards the living room.

"I think it would be best if-"

"I stayed inside?" she nodded, "Not a problem." Mattress pad being tucked on.

"I don't think trying to leave the city right now would be a good idea, but if you-"

"No," she shook her head, now heading back to the basket for sheets, "leaving the city would just attract more attention. They'll already have people covering the checkpoints leading out."

"It shouldn't be for long Max," he tried to console by placing a hand on top of hers as she went to drape the other bed coverings over the side as she attached the fitted sheet.

It snapped back, "And how exactly do you know that Logan? How do you know they aren't going to take up permanent residence here looking for him?"

"I talked to Ly-"

She groaned upon hearing his name.

"You might hate him Max, but we need him."

She shook her head and went about tucking in the fitted sheet.

"Amy-"

She looked up.

"The surrogate," he explained.

A quick look over at Will conked out in the cradle swing.

"She has younger brothers. Before we left California-"

"You were in California?" she paused in putting on the bumper.

"Not for long. Before we left, he had her go in and wire money to her aunt to get her brothers put on a bus and sent to Little Rock that was due to get in early Tuesday morning. They picked them up the same day I got home though. A small station, no cameras as they were making stop," his voice remained calm as he explained all the facts to her. Hoping the details would soothe her fears.

"She was wearing a pregnancy pad. She got them and Lydecker had her create a trail across the country."

"He put three innocent people-" she turned outraged.

"Yea," Logan nodded, "he didn't mention that to me when I left him."

She went back to the sheets.

"He had them make their way to Florida where Manticore thinks they've gotten on a steamer heading to Venezuela."

He placed a hand on her arm and turned her towards him, "He kept her pregnant the entire time. Manticore has no reason to believe Will is anywhere but with her. They're just doing this to cover all their bases."

She just stared at him.

"Max if I really thought this would be an issue, we'd leave. Today."

"What about when the steamer stops and they aren't on it?"

"It makes a stopover in Cuba. They'll have docked there before Manticore even thinks they've gotten on it. And one Marisa Marcus will have departed with her two young sons."

She looked confused.

"Lydecker apparently doesn't leave anything to chance does he? He had Amy offer her passage."

"Did she want him?" Max suddenly asked realizing everything the other woman had gone through aside from the pregnancy and delivery.

Logan shook his head, "She just wanted a chance at having a semi-normal life."

Poor kid, she though smoothing out the sheets_, two moms and neither wanted him. Rough start. _

"Brin took the boys and Lydecker took Amy up to Canada. New hair, new look, new identity for all of them."

"It's not that easy," another empty reaction, "trust me, I've tried."

"It's just for the time being, he's trying to get her moved to Europe, he didn't tell me where."

"Seems like he gave a lot more info with you than he ever would the rest of us."

"Yea I just wish there wasn't the feeling in my gut he's keeping a hell of a lot more from us than he's telling us," he said once more coming around her to take her in his arms from behind.

"Yea well that's Deck," she roughly nodded back, just holding everything in check. She was always _just_ holding everything in check it seemed.

He didn't say anything for a moment. Offered no more reassurances she wouldn't believe. "This is actually really nice," he said looking down finally seeing it completed. The dark wood, the cream sheets, sage trim and teddy dozing on the blanket.

"Should be," she made a face, "took four hours to pick out."

He laughed and patted her side, "How about I promise to pick out his bed?"

She turned, "What do you mean pick out his bed? We have two extra beds."

He smiled just barely containing her laugher, "Little kids need beds closer to the ground. You can't just put him in a full sized bed."

"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered shaking her head, turning back around to the large item that would be obsolete soon.

He laughed and slid his arms around again, "So don't suppose that offer of a quickie still stands?"

ooOoo

Later that afternoon: 

She was humming to herself and a discrete little smile was attached to her face as she shifted the furniture around in their bedroom. Moving the large dresser against the windows and away from the closet despite the impracticalities of it. Baby and floor to ceiling windows seemed like a significantly worse match. Blinding sun, extremes in temps, not to mention natural disasters caused her to finally decide to ignore the laziness and the aesthetic reasons.

She was staring down at the rocking chair she'd placed near the windows for easy viewing of the night sky debating if it should even be in the bedroom since she'd most likely take Will out if he was being restless when the bell rang. She cursed as Will immediately started crying.

She detoured into the living room to grab him as she mentally cursed out whoever was behind the door.

"I know, I know," she soothed attempting to calm him, "scary noise I'm sorry. We'll kick whoever's ass did this."

A quick look out before she opened it as anyone worth being worried about would actually knock.

"Ooh sorry boo," Cindy said making a pained face upon seeing Max's angry one and hearing his cries.

"Why aren't you working?"

" Normal said a few of us could go if we wanted, place was dead today. I think he got sick of us hanging around," she explained. "Knew you got the stuff today, figured I'd stop by see if you need any help," she said shrugging out of her backpack as Max continued to try to calm down the baby.

"Couple hours too late," she said allowing Cindy's hands to take the infant who suddenly started to quiet. "You have got to be kidding me," she muttered.

"Original Cindy's got the magic touch," she said with a cocked head, "been told many a time."

ooOoo

"I did a damn good job," Original Cindy decided after lowering Will into the crib. Covering his little body already partially covered with the 'Question Authority' onesie Logan had dressed him in before leaving again for work after being caught off guard while changing his diaper.

_The face of the sleeping teddy right below that of the sleeping boy. _

"You got some good genes girl," she said still looking down, "your nose on a boy is going to make him real popular with the ladies."

"The ladies?" Max questioned with the certain amount of humor in her voice.

"Don't know why anyone would want a man," she said with a shake of her head, "'cept for you little boo," she stroked his cheek. "Seriously Max," she said taking a final look, "I think you've got the cutest kid in all of Seattle. Not that Original Cindy's spent a lot of time with the rugrats, but been checkin them out the past couple days." A pause for dramatic effect followed by a drop of her heard, "There are some seriously busted kids running around."

Max shook her head and gave a bewildered look, "Isn't that wrong? On like every level there is?"

"Might be wrong, but that doesn't mean it's not true."

"Uh," Max began with a smile.

"You know what I mean," a finger pointed.

She smiled.

"So what's a girl got to do to get a snack around here, possibly even a dinner invite?"

ooOoo

"You're going to spoil your appetite," Max chided as Original Cindy started to pair her milk and sugar rich coffee with one of the final donuts remaining from their shopping trip on Sunday.

"Look at you all mommy already," she waved it in the air. "Ooh you know what that reminds me, where's your camera?"

She just looked confused.

"First time in the new bed," she explained.

"You have got to be kidding me," more shock. Everything seemed to be shocking her lately.

"Please tell me you've been taking pictures of the kid," her friend said grabbing a napkin to put her donut on.

"Already got that lecture from Logan so don't start," she demanded as she herself headed into the office.

"I'm just saying they grow up fast. Gotta be careful or you miss it," she imparted the wisdom her mother had imparted on her.

"Once more already got it from Logan," shaking her head and pulled out the camera she'd finally hidden from Krit yesterday.

Back towards the bedroom as she flipped it on.

"Ooh now one with me," Cindy said and stuck her head over the edge of the crib with a giant smile as Max finished flashing.

"You've-" she stopped herself and just snapped instead. "You happy now?" she asked with rolled eyes.

"I will be," she said snatching the camera, "when you get into this baby thing and stop acting like a brat."

"I'm not-" she went to defend herself.

"Oh yea," she paused in her picture flipping to look up, "then why is it your past and my present roommate still has no clue, she has a new potential paramour in 18 years."

"Oh I don't know, could it be because there are people scouring this city looking to put us in cages for the rest of our lives?"

Original Cindy made a face and went back to scouring through the pics. _There were some things you should just get used to after twelve years. Granted it was a good reason, but the girl had a life just about anyone would give their right arm for even with the baddies waiting behind every corner. _

"Dear ol' Krit was quite the shutter bug yesterday wasn't he?" She commented, sitting with her coffee in one as the other one flipped back in the kitchen. Logan with the baby, Max with the baby, himself with the baby even though he was the one taking the picture.

"Understatement," was all Max said as she took snagged a donut and went to sit next to her. Peering over her shoulder to look at the pics.

"Oooh look, you're finally smiling in one," she said turning it to show Max as she walked with Will against one shoulder, her face turned to him talking most likely.

"Thought Krit was in the bathroom," she said taking a bite.

"Nice to know you're only miserable when the rest of us are around," Original Cindy dryly concluded.

"He's the baby, not me. I don't need you guys constantly watching over me."

"We're your family Max, like it or not. It's our jobs to have your back."

"Yea well I'd like to be able to take a step back and not trip over you guys," she pointed out.

"You got plenty of time to be alone with the munchkin," she pointed out, "like 18 years, longer if he turns out like Sketchy."

_Great, _she thought to herself. "He back at work yet?"

"Came and went again," she stopped and turned with pursed lips. "Boy decided he was fine on Monday, then busted his ankle even worse just after lunch. Normal told him to stay gone until at least next Monday. Good thing that girl works."

Max inwardly sighed about her idiot friend, _what had he gotten himself into? _

"Hey worse come to worse, you and Sketchy can start up a daycare," Cindy said trying not to smile.

"You're lucky I value food way too much otherwise this donut would totally be shoved up your nose right now."

She gave a satisfied smile. "Want to get dinner ready?" she asked.

"Nope," another bite of donut. "I cooked three out of the past four days. I may be staying home, but there is no way in hell I'm turning into _happy Suzy homemaker._"

"Don't worry boo, don't think there's a chance in hell of anyone ever mistaking you for her," Cindy smiled. "Though that is one really cute family shot," she turned the camera and the pics she started going through for a second time.

_Max with the baby in her arms talking to Logan as he was pulling out glasses. _

Nothing special. Just a normal moment, in a normal life. A family that appeared perfectly safe, happy and normal.

All she'd ever dreamed of.


	6. Part Six

Very short. But since I didn't finish my challenge (geez and that's bad when you're half the people who posted it) I figured I'd finish this little bit up and post it. Anyone know why this is the only story that wants to be written? Because it's really annoying. I'd like to do work on my others please. :-( 

Thanks for reading folks. Oh and of course Happy Valentine's Day.

* * *

**Part Six **

He was oddly content.

Life continued to surprise him and throw him curveballs. Nothing ever went as he planned.

The pulse, his marriage, his paralysis, Max's death…

Yet when she'd returned to him, he once more foolishly, albeit unintentionally planned out their future.

The happiness and peace they'd find so easily because of what they'd gone through. _Normal__ lives finally._

Their relationship would lead to marriage; the marriage would lead to children…

He'd been planning for it, changing how Eyes Only existed in order to keep her and their future safe. Eyes Only no longer broadcasted all his good deeds. Evidence was turned over to the prosecutors and cops and legitimate news media, keeping him from being a prime target for revenge and less for Manticore to work from. The good citizens still found out the truth, just not from him firsthand all the time.

Okay so maybe his plan wasn't going quite as smoothly as he once expected it to.

He certainly hadn't factored in Will and what having Will would do to Max.

She was coming around though; he was watching it slowly occur. She'd go to Will now. He didn't need to be sleeping or otherwise occupied. She'd take the baby in her arms and comfort him.

She was starting to talk to him. Not just the sound of her voice reassuring him, but asking him questions. Questions to a sleeping or calm baby, drawing him into a conversation instead of acting as if he didn't exist.

They had a long way to go. He knew that. A long road with more than a few bumps in the way, but he was reassured by those little things that he hadn't been a complete and total ass by bringing Will here.

But still…It led to this contentment he probably wouldn't be able to explain if someone asked him to. In fact even thinking about it, it didn't make much sense to him.

The person he loved more than anything else in the world continued to have nightmares and had a good reason to have them since she was being hunted down. There had been a breakdown in her family relationships, her sister who was also one of her closest friends was no longer speaking to her.

She was hiding a baby whose presence they certainly couldn't escape in the privacy of their own home as his once neat and orderly apartment had been taken over by bouncers, mobiles and fish.

Yet he was fighting the ridiculous urge to break out in a goofy smile as he tossed the salad for their dinner. Max and Original Cindy could be heard across the apartment laughing. The last time he'd looked in on them Cindy had been sitting on the coffee table with Max's foot in her hand giving her a pedicure as Max was alternating between blowing on her hand to dry those nails and laughing.

Will was asleep in the other room in his new crib and had just been checked on. Logan hadn't been able to resist the urge to turn on the teddy bear mobile that had been dangling above the bed.

"Food done yet?" Max asked walking with her toes up and hands out to her side as Cindy trailed behind her.

He gave into another urge and laughed.

ooOoo

"Want to know why I love Fridays?" Max asked walking over with a glass of wine in hand two nights later.

He looked up from checking his emails.

"Everyone is too busy getting their drink on to be here."

A short chuckle followed. "They're just trying to be helpful."

"They're annoying," she responded dryly as she moved closer to peer over his shoulder and look at the screen.

"They mean well," he said quickly snatching an arm as the other moved to her waist pulling her down to him, completing the move by retrieving the wine glass from her hand.

"Yea their good intentions I can do without," she rolled her eyes, "I'm looking forward to a few days of peace and quiet," she burrowed in close to him.

A low laugh, "Quiet isn't really what I'd describe our apartment as lately."

"Hey there at least lulls…I can be happy with lulls," she felt his hand's near non-existent pause as it ran up and down her arm. "What?" she asked while still cuddled sidewise on his lap.

"What?" he asked back.

She turned, "Whatever it is you're not telling me?"

His eyes suddenly turned apologetic. "I was hoping you'd finish the bottle before I had to tell you."

Well there was her explanation for why Logan had been a little over-attentive during dinner and her glass always appeared full. She simply continued to look at him and waited for the explanation.

"I called Bennett today," he began.

She groaned and fell towards him again, her head connecting with his shoulder; _she knew exactly where this was going. _

"Yea," his hand gently consoled her back, "that was pretty much my reaction to. Apparently though, two weeks is past the acceptable time frame. They'll be over around four tomorrow."

"Who exactly is they?" she asked once more pulling away to look at him.

"Not my aunt," Logan knew exactly what her question meant.

"Thank god for small miracles," Max said reaching out to grab the glass he'd placed on his desk.

"Don't jinx us," he answered as he stole away her glass, taking a long slow sip at the thought of his aunt's chilly looks. The pitiful comments she'd hide in a seemingly caring remark. _The Cale that couldn't produce any more Cales._ It didn't matter that he knew it wasn't true. He knew a hell of a lot about himself that had never seemed to matter once they got started in on him.

She smiled and let loose a breathy laugh that made him forget all about the wine in his hand and any thoughts he may have had about his aunt.

"How about we take advantage of this lull," she said with a smile as she turned in his lap leaving him to once more bless his foresight to buy this wonderfully sturdy with just the slightest extra bit of room chair.

"Hmm," he agreed and their hands mutually returned the goblet to the desk.

He groaned just a few moments later as her lips paused in her exploration down his neck as the baby started to cry. "What did I say about jinxing us?" he asked and allowed his eyes to shut.

She shook her head and muttered as she disengaged herself from her, "The kid's got to be psychic or something." _That was the only way to explain it. _

He laughed as he stood and handed her the glass again, "I've got him."

"Oh no," she shook her head, "you've got five minutes to get out of that thing and meet me in the bedroom, this kid isn't ruining my whole night. We're getting some time in before you conk out on me again."

He laughed and shook his head as he followed her out of the room, "It was 2:30 Max."

"I don't care," she replied with a single minded determinedness as she walked towards the cradle and squalling infant. "Bed. Now." Her hands went to unfasten Will, blocking Logan from him.

"It's 9:45," he said with an amused face.

She turned with the baby pressed up against her shoulder as she rubbed his back, "What part of I don't care didn't you get Logan?" she asked with serious eyes.

He shook his head still amused.

"You've got four minute Logan or I'm tossing you to the bed and stripping it off you myself," she informed him. "It ends up in a crumpled heap in the corner you've got no one to blame but yourself."

They both turned at the same time, Max to pace, Logan heading towards the bedroom, smiles passing both of their lips moments later.


	7. Part Seven

Thanks for reading everyone! Part Eight is also posted.

* * *

**Part Seven **

"What the fuck?" Max cursed upon hearing the buzzer as Logan was just starting to move again. His interest in her renewed after tending to the baby's diaper. _Then again that cry would wake the dead. _

"Someone for you," he muttered as he rolled away from her and back to the baby, who didn't appreciate having been woken.

"Can we just ignore it?" she whined and pulled the sheet up with her as she sat up with him.

As if on cue the doorbell buzzed again.

He looked over with annoyed eyes as he leaned to get Will whose arms were busy flaring scaring him more than the noise.

"Guessing that's a no," she said allowing the sheet to fall and her legs to slide to the side. Scooping the flannel blue plaid robe Logan had come home with earlier in the week after failing to find one in several woman stores that only seemed to contain ones he knew she'd roll her eyes at and leave in the closet, he'd finally spotted the blue robe on the opposite side of the store in the guy's section after seeing yet another half dozen silky pale robes that he was pretty sure wouldn't keep someone warm in summer.

He couldn't help but smile as he turned back now with the baby in his arms as she distractedly belted the robe, double checking that she was completely covered. Her once perky waves had grown more sedate as she'd started to let her hair grown out again after she'd been fanatical about keeping it at the length it had been before everything with Manticore had happened. Her hair now held just the slightest wave not only because of its length, but because of their previous activities. He smiled at its disarray.

"Hold that thought," she said with a smile as she mentally plotted out the death of whoever was behind that door.

ooOoo

Kendra's face took on a stunned expression as she heard the crying once the door opened. Original Cindy next to her looked contrite. "You have a kid."

Max glared at Cindy. _So much for drinking would keep them out of her hair. _

"Sorry boo," another guilty expression.

She stepped back and allowed them into the penthouse.

"How long have you had a kid?" Kendra asked still outraged.

"Just a couple weeks," her face held a sheepish expression as it scrunched up knowing how much not knowing had hurt her friend.

Kendra's head shook, _what exactly was one supposed to say to something like this. _

"I'm sorry," Max apologized and stepped into the room. "Kinda trying to get used to him before we…" she shrugged.

"This had to have been in the works for awhile," she continued to look dismayed. _You didn't just get a kid overnight._

"Wasn't a sure thing," she offered up truthfully regardless of the fact that she hadn't even been aware of the fact that it was a _thing_.

"Were you already in bed?" Original Cindy butted in, wanting to get Max off the spot she'd put her in. "It's not even 12."

Max gave her a pointed look.

"Ooh, sorry," she looked away.

Max shook her head in defeat.

"Since we've already interrupted. You've got to see how cute this kid is," Cindy took Kendra's hand and started pulling her down the hall towards the still crying baby. "Logan cover up we're coming in," she screamed as she neared their door.

Logan had the completely dazed look going on as Cindy came barreling through the door still dragging Kendra behind her.

"Sorry to interrupt your night boo," Cindy smiled, "that whole damn truth in wine crap apparently works with beer as well."

Logan simply shrugged. Once more feeling rather content and ready to start to drift off again as he'd been going to when Will had awoken not long ago wanting a bottle.

"Hi Logan," Kendra nodded as she continued to stare at him.

Max frowned suddenly realizing she didn't know if her friend was staring at the baby pressed up against Logan's chest or Logan's chest itself . She definitely knew which one she'd normally look at. "Uh Cindy grab the kid, this one's had enough time with my boyfriend in the buff." Her hands were placed on Kendra's arms and she turned her former roommate out of the room.

"Damn that guy's jacked," she muttered in a low voice as soon as they passed the threshold. "Not that…_Look at me I work out._ But hmmm…" a dreamy look passed Kendra's eyes.

"Yea yea, kid with me," Max frowned and continued shoving her towards the living room, "let's not forget that."

"Hmm," she stopped and turned, "does that mean-" she gave Max a look. _Well that didn't make any sense with their sex life…One which they all knew a little too much about. _

"Ribs," Max nodded, "cracked open? Not that long ago?"

"Oh right," she said with a forgetful shake. She'd forgotten just how sick Max had been.

"Focus girl," Max laughed a second later seeing Kendra's eyes still mentally wandering.

She turned with a pout, "He's yummy."

"I know and I was experiencing it first hand before someone busted in on us," Max laughed.

"Please," Original Cindy said walking in with the swaddled baby cradled against her shoulder, "boy's boxers are already on the floor and he only looks dazed and not pissed. You already got yours."

"Mmm with someone like Logan…" Kendra got the sultry, all-knowing smile.

"Girl's actually right," Max said with a nod.

"So you want to see the kid we had to bust up their evening because of?"

"Oh right," Kendra said returning to the moment and stretched out her arms.

ooOoo

"Okay," Kendra said now sitting on the couch with a sleeping Will cradled in her arms after Max had run through the same story she'd given her before. "So none of this explains why you _just_ quit your job."

"Max thought I should have bonding time with him before she got him full time," Logan said wheeling into the room with his charming easy going smile meant to put people at ease and forget their concerns. "I think she wanted me to appreciate what having no adult contact felt like," he jokingly smiled.

Kendra wasn't really the type to fall for any bs…Too many years living on her own out in the real world had made her cynical, but she seemed to fall for Logan's. Then again Max realized there were times she almost fell for Logan's lies regarding their lives.

"Yea," Max pouted, "little did I know that the kid basically does nothing for the first few weeks. Watch it; he's going to have colic with me or something." _So easy to fall into the lie._ She smiled at him as she leaned forward. Smiled a little more that he'd actually taken the time to throw on the blue and white striped cotton pajama bottoms and a plain white tee. Her man was a dress to impress kind, although he seemed completely unaware of it. She understood why OC had taught her to endure manicures and Kendra had laughed and chucked her old robe to the side as she'd gone to pack up her stuff.

She frowned as she watched his eyes move down and his lips twitch up in a smile.

She shot up and pulled her robe together.

Original Cindy laughed at the interplay as Kendra looked over confused. "Go get dressed girl. Logan's going to make us a snack."

Logan looked over with interested eyes.

"Date one, you date all three…You know the rules," she smiled standing.

"You know," Max said looking over before going to leave the room, "that rule has never benefited me at all. I get more love from Natalie than any of your exes."

"Yea well that's because I already take care of your sorry ass," Cindy smiled and gently pushed her, "if you'll notice the swaddled baby with the stylin clothes."

"Hey," she replied with a little attitude, "that's the kid not me. You put food in my belly and we'll talk again."

"If you haven't noticed, it's Max's only currency," Logan said with amused eyes.

ooOoo

"This is why I love this place," Kendra said stretching out with her glass, "not only is there Iced Tea, but Iced Tea with sugar and cookies. These have got to be the most amazing cookies ever."

Logan's head shook as he sipped his water wondering if he should just take the baby and return to bed as the girls continued to leisurely stuff themselves with cookies and Max's ultra sugary tea.

"White chocolate Macadamia," Max supplied the type as she bit into one. _Pre-packed yea, but overpriced enough to have made them out of reach for most. _

"Can you adopt me instead of the kid?" Kendra asked with a sigh.

"Got to try nuking them," Cindy supplied and then two of the three girls turned to glare at Logan.

He shook his head and sighed. He was never going to win when it came to the microwave thing. "Soon," he promised.

"Said that three weeks ago," Max frowned and decided if one hadn't come in by the time Manticore was out of town she was just going to liberate one.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Max was adorably cute and bratty when her friends came over. He'd never expected it from her and had been shocked to watch it emerge as she'd once more started to. _Tough girl had to keep up appearances. _

She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Gotta love how she's complaining about a microwave when we didn't have water for two days this week," Kendra laughed while still chewing sending a few crumbs flying out.

"Is that why you were over so often?" Max asked OC.

"Please your kitchen has and will always be my number one reason for coming here," she replied with a head shake as she took another bite, "you thought it was your charming personality?"

"I think that's my cue to go to bed and leave you all to fight about this," he said with a nod and all heads turned towards him. "I'm assuming I'll be seeing you both in the morning?"

Max quickly frowned as Logan avoided making eye contact with her.

"If that's an invite for some Legendary Logan Cale French Toast I'm down," Cindy smiled with a deep nod.

"Hey I'm staying over just for those pillows," Kendra acknowledged after sleeping in the penthouse bed her own always felt like a lumpy well, sack of rocks.

"Then I'll see you both in the morning," he nodded. "Max do you want to carry Will in for me?" He had absolutely no desire to try to work the chair one handed at the moment for that distance.

"We'll keep him out here with us, let you sleep," she said still looking at him with puzzled eyes. "I'll walk with you for diapers though."

ooOoo

The look continued as he retrieved the diapers and all other necessary items for her.

"And how exactly were they going to get home?" he asked handing them off.

"Well I…" her voice trailed off as she realized she'd been about to say she'd have run them home so they could have gotten back down to business.

He nodded, "And I didn't particularly feel like getting dressed again tonight."

She frowned.

He laughed and pulled her down quickly kissing her, "Their room's on the opposite side of the apartment. Wake me when they go to bed."

"Damn knew I loved you for a reason Logan Cale," she cockily smiled as she returned to full height.

"Yea yea, go away so I can get some sleep."

ooOoo

The Next Afternoon: 

She pulled out a few random outfits from underneath the basket of the basinet and tossed them on the bed before going to retrieve a few more from the changing table all while carrying a snoozing Will who was oblivious to her movements. The rest of his clothing residing in the matching dresser that was on the opposite side of the apartment since she absolutely refused to move any more clutter into their _formerly_ spacious room with it.

She was reacting how she knew she _should_ react. It was easy to get into the mind frame of who she'd been, after all she'd been her for so long. She'd had to do it before and it had mostly worked well to become her again, so here she was trying yet again.

He looked over in amusement as he slid his watch on.

"Okay," she began and The Original Max Guevara show started show started, "so I'm figuring with two kids there are going to be a lot of pictures taken today."

He let out a short laugh wondering where exactly this was going.

"And I mean cousins...First picture," she nodded with the words, "there's a good chance this is going to be displayed.

"I would imagine so," he agreed.

"So my first thought would be to put the kid in one of these," she raised up a onesie stating, _My momma drinks because I cry. _

"That would certainly entertain Bennett," he agreed.

She nodded, "Shock value, good for the moment."

_Okay, _he wondered waiting for what was coming next.

"Then I realized the entire point of baby pictures is to embarrass the crap out of your kid…This," she said lifting it back up, "just makes us look like cool parents, which is going to be obvious anyhow."

"I mean one good outfit could provide us with decades worth of amusement torturing Will," she rifled through the pile and tried to remember exactly what she'd tossed in the other drawers. She looked up, "Why don't we have anything with little bowties or something."

He continued to look on.

"Maybe this," she said exacting a pair of blue shorts that had been part of a package Bling had purchased, along with a white shirt with blue trim at the color and a small puppy dog on the front. "Put on the blue cap and some blue socks?" she thoughtfully replied looking at them.

"Max," he said walking over to her and kissing her head, "I love you, don't take this the wrong way, but get the hell away from the kid." His hands slid in between hers around Will's small frame, "I'll dress him."

He stepped back with Will now safely in his arms.

She pouted and he smiled. She knew she was doing good.

"Go get dressed," he nodded.

She smirked as she turned with a bounce moving over towards the closet. "Do I have to dress up?" she called out over her shoulder.

"You should probably dress a little more than that," he allowed his eyes a healthy look at the pajamas she'd ended up changing back into after her shower in which almost all of her leg was bare. "Wear what you'd normally wear," he replied as he sifted through the pile.

She walked back over, "This is what I normally wear."

_Good point, _he nodded.

"I'm just asking because you're dressed up."

"I'm wearing pants and a shirt," he said quickly looking down at the olive colored shirt and suddenly realized the striped outfit he had in his hand for Will was green. It was quickly dropped.

"You're wearing slacks and a button down," she walked back over again.

"Like I don't-"

She cut him off, "Not since you started working."

He looked a little puzzled and then realized exactly what she meant and that she was right. There may have once been a time where he'd have on 'slacks and a button down' to stay in his house or run pointless errands, those days had long since passed. Tee-shirts, light sweaters, pullovers had replaced the button down.

"And you're wearing a watch," she said as she roughly moved the clothing over on the rack.

"I wear a-"

"In the apartment?"

He looked down at it and frowned.

"Decide what the kid's wearing yet?"

_Right back on track, _he thought looking down. "You decide what you're wearing yet?"

"Black pants," she said while staring dead into their closet, "got that much."

"Don't wear green or…" he sifted through the pile finally pulling out a white and yellow romper, "yellow."

"Find him an…" she popped back out now standing before him in the fitted black pants and the short tank she'd slept in, "ooh there's a hat that matches that."

"He doesn't need the hat," Logan replied dryly.

"Isn't like ninety percent of heat loss from a baby through its head?"

"Definitely not that high and does he normally wear a hat?" he asked sitting down and regretfully having to rouse the baby as he start to change him. They'd raised the temperature three degrees in the apartment to make it more suitable to a newborn.

She gasped and walked back out, now wearing a V-neck maroon top. "That hat has ears."

"No," was all Logan replied.

"You know seriously you're no fun," she pouted walking over to their dresser and pulled out a pair of socks. "Having to wear shoes in your own place is wrong," she shook her head.

"So don't wear shoes," was all he replied.

"Says the _this is Max Guevara of the Greenwich Guevaras_ guy."

"Why do you keep talking to me today if you're not going to listen to anything I'm saying?"

She walked over mid-hop in putting on her final sock, "I listen," she kissed his cheek, "I just listen and correct."

He rolled his eyes.

"Seriously where is that hat?" she looked around the room.

"Weren't you putting on shoes?"

She fake frowned and headed back over to the closet, "So do you think we're really going to have to feed them or what?"

"My guess is yes," he replied with a sigh, part of him hoped they could be over and the visit completed before dinner time arrived, but Logan knew he'd have to ask and he unfortunately was pretty sure he knew their answer as well.

She shook her head in annoyance, did people not grasp the importance of 'alone time' for a couple. They already had one very demanding person butting in on it all the time and now it seemed the rest of the town was trying to as well. "I got him," she said sliding his hands around Will, "go readjust your pita wedges again."

The funny thing was yesterday she'd felt special he'd brought home more groceries thinking he wanted to spend the entire weekend alone with her. _Little did she know… _

"Does that mean you're done eating it for the moment?"

"Eh they should be here in less than ten…I can hold off. You go prettify," she teased.

His head shook as he made his way out of the room.

ooOoo

He looked up as he finished arranging the pita chips around the sun-dried tomatoes and bean dip, flipping up a little lemon garnish that had fallen to the side in the dip as he carried it into the living room.

"You cannot be serious," he said seeing her walk into the room with Will in the white romper with the yellow polo collar and Pooh Bear chilling happily on his leg, capped off by well a cap. A little Pooh Bear cap, complete with ears.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"They just called they're on their way up," he replied explaining they didn't have time for this.

She saucily turned, "So we shouldn't keep them waiting."

"Max," his voice low as he pulled up back to him by her waist.

"Yes Logan?" she asked looking back and up as best she could.

"Have a heart?"

_Poor guy_, she thought with a pout, _still so uneasy with his family. _"Hmmm?"

A knock at the door, her eyes turned back, his hand snatched down and ripped it off Will's head and shoved it in his pocket.

ooOoo

"Hey," Logan said swinging open the door. The words got stuck in his throat for a brief moment as he saw not only his cousin and his wife pushing their daughter in a stroller, but his aunt and her husband, Jonathan Prescott, "guys."

His aunt appeared dolefully bored already though there was a smile on her face in case her husband who was beaming happened to look back. Bennett and Marianne both look apologetic.

"Aunt Margo, Prescott," he smiled.

"We heard your good news and knew we had to stop by, don't worry we'll leave you youngsters alone after a quick visit," he stepped forward and encased Logan in a hug that as always shocked him. "I told Tommy there had to be a good reason for you taking off work," he nodded as he stepped back, pleased with himself that he'd told the editor to stop bitchin to him and just pass the work off to someone else.

"Oh and if that isn't a good reason I don't know what is," his hands were already going out to grab the baby in Max's arms.

Logan turned back to watch the exchange and saw Max happily smiling and the white cap with yellow ears once more gracing Will's head. _One of these days he'd catch on to how she did that. _

ooOoo

She smiled at the ease which Logan appeared to possess as he comfortably sat back in the chair after moving two more chairs over to complete the circle with Bennett. _Nice to know she wasn't the only one faking it in this relationship. _

"This is for William," Margo said handing off the white and silver wrapped box to Max.

Max smiled, "You shouldn't have."

Prescott laughed, "Don't worry we didn't. Caught us a little off guard with this, a gift from us will eventually be coming though."

Max caught Margo flinch just the slightest bit at her husband's warmth which Max knew the other woman considered crass. True affection and kindness were looked down upon in this family.

"Logan's baby things," Margo explained.

Max slid off the bow and flicked up the corners of the tape to find just that. A silver baby cup, spoon and rattle. Max wondered if the other woman had his parents' gold fillings removed after their death as well.

Max simply smiled and picked up the baby rattle and gave it a little shake.

"Thank you Aunt Margo that means more than a store bought gift any day," Logan's cool voice didn't display any of the anger she knew was brewing within him.

"I was looking for your mother's locket for you to give to Max, but it seems to have disappeared."

Logan looked over with a smile, "You don't remember you gave that to me shortly after meeting Max the first time. Bennett's wedding I think."

"Oh," she smiled with cold eyes, "that's right. I can't believe it slipped my mind." She turned and smiled at her husband, "Old age is my guess."

"Haha," he patted her hand, "you? Old? Never."

"We have gifts too," Bennett said leaning down to the basket underneath his daughter's carriage, "and before you say you shouldn't have. I didn't, she did," he nodded in Marianne's direction.

"Well thank you Marianne," Max said grabbing the three boxes from Bennett's hands. Clothing or blankets were her guess from the packaging.

"Oh my," Margo exclaimed stunned as Prescott suddenly transferred Will over to her arms.

"Get a look at all that hair," he said removing the cap. "Wonder if he's willing to share."

They all laughed including Margo's forced laughter.

"He's certainly small, I don't think any of the boys were ever this tiny."

"Mom," Bennett said rescuing Will from her arms, "even Noelle wasn't this small."

"How big was he Max?" Marianne asked.

"Six pounds three ounces," Logan quickly replied.

"Well he's certainly a sturdy little guy," Bennett said looking at the very content baby in his arms.

"I can tell you this much that kid has a pair of lungs on him like I've never heard before," Logan chuckled and the rest followed.

"Oh wow," Max said without blinking like she wanted to.

"Isn't it just the cutest thing?" Marianne asked with a smile about the blue velour pants and jacket with the white body suit with a yellow star and 'William' underneath it on the chest.

"Wow the jacket even has his initials," she said seeing the WSC on the right-hand side.

"Noelle has it in pink," Marianne beamed.

" Logan," Max turned the box, "how cute is it?"

"Very," he nodded and smiled and wondered exactly when it had become okay for boys to wear velour.

"I just hope he grows in to it before summer hits," Marianne continued to smile, "though I'm sure we'll still have plenty of cool days for him to wear it."

"Yea," Max nodded and knew without a doubt it would certainly be cool enough for him to wear since the apartment had A/C and she was never letting him out of it wearing that.

"Do you want me to take him honey?" Marianne asked over to Bennett.

"Uh sure," he said as his wife quickly took the baby out of his hands.

"I miss when they're this small," she pouted and looked at Noelle in all of her ruffled pink dress and lace glory.

"Mar," Bennett laughed, "Noelle isn't that much bigger."

"He's so tiny though," she pouted at the little boy. "Open up the next one Max," she said without ever taking her eyes off of Will.

Max did as she was told, "Hey these kind of remind me of your pajamas Logan," she said upon seeing the blue and white horizontal stripes (instead of Logan's vertical) one piece, the color and cuffs white and once more the little WSC in the corner.

"He'll look like a little rugby player," Prescott said upon seeing the outfit.

"Noelle only has a bodysuit in that," Marianne teased herself.

Max laughed, "Trying to make them twins?"

"I just think it'll be cute," the other woman shrugged. "they'll both be so close in age. Which reminds me I have an application in my bag for nursery school."

Max just looked puzzled.

"Max if you want him to go anywhere good you've got to do all this stuff now. You're lucky money's tight for everyone otherwise it would already be too late."

Her stomach twisted as she moved onto the next package. Body suits of green, royal blue and light blue with white collars all with William in the corner.

"How adorably preppy are those?" Marianne smiled.

"Very," Max nodded, "thank you so much."

"You know Max," Prescott said leaning in for his sixth pita chip, "this dip is amazing."

"Don't tell me, tell the chef of the house, I just eat," she shrugged and leaned in to grab another herself.

"Logan," Prescott said looking over surprised, "I didn't know you cooked."

"His mother thought it would be a valuable trait in a male," Margo supplied, but didn't go near the dip she had seen previously served by his mother and had listened to her late husband ooh and ahh over it as well.

"Maybe you-" Marianne began with a smile, but it quickly fell and was replaced with a more sedate one, "maybe your cousin should give you lessons." She corrected before she was murdered in her sleep by her mother-in-law.

ooOoo

A bottle of wine was brought out the moment Margo and Prescott left almost an hour later. It had been tucked into Noelle's diaper bag and Bennett brought it out with a sigh, "I'm sorry," he said handing it off to Logan.

Logan let out a low groan as he shook his head turning, "I'm assuming everyone wants a glass?"

"You've been asking dumb questions all day," Max said standing.

"None for Marianne actually she's still nursing," he said following them both out into the kitchen.

"Talk about unfair," she sighed walking in from Max and Logan's bedroom where she'd put Noelle down in almost a half hour ago.

"She still sleeping?" Bennett asked.

She nodded, "Can I at least smell the bottle?" She sighed over to Logan.

"You got it," he nodded as it started to unscrew.

ooOoo

"Oh my god you're a lucky girl Max," Marianne sighed after her first bite of Logan's Mediterranean chicken.

"You try the spinach yet?" She nodded before going to take a bite, "He actually makes spinach taste good."

Marianne sighed, "I think I may have to go to the gym everyday this week to make up for it."

Logan laughed.

"See baby, I can't cook just for your sake," Bennett offered up with a smile.

She gave him a look and then laughed.

ooOoo

"Noelle and I go to this great Mommy and Me class," Marianne said looking across at Max as she put a wedge of potato in her mouth.

Max continued to look across.

"It's really great we do all these bonding and educational activities…Stuff for the mom too to keep the mind going in-between 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider' and strained peas," Marianne continued.

"Uh," Max looked down at her food seeking divine inspiration in a mushroom.

"Baby massage, flash cards…"

"Can I think about it?"

"It might be nice to be with some other mothers," Marianne pointed out.

"Marianne why don't you give Max some time to think about it," Logan tactfully tried to let the other woman down gently, "catch up on her stories," Logan turned and teased her.

"Hey," she waved her fork, "that's a good show," she smiled. It had been especially good because it had shut her brother up for an hour.

His eyebrows raised.

"Just thought I'd offer," Marianne took a sip of water, "it's nice that the kids are so close in age, I figure they should do things together."

"I don't think he's up for much bonding time until he can focus or hold his head up on his own."

ooOoo

"So how many kids are you guys thinking?" Marianne asked as she added sugar to the tea Logan had made her while everyone else had coffee.

Max once more found herself simply staring at the other brunette.

"We're just trying to make it through the first one," Logan joked.

"So no timeframe for the next one?" Bennett asked.

_Okay seriously,_ Max thought looking over at Logan's cousin, _preschool plotted out three years ahead of schedule and their next kid? _The kid probably had his bowl movements planned.

"We're going to start trying again in a year and a half," Marianne smiled at her daughter who had a soft rattle stuffed in her mouth. "Two to three years between kids is generally what they suggest."

ooOoo

"He wasn't much fun as a kid was he?" Max said crawling into the couch beside Logan and pulling his arm around her.

"Just very organized," Logan said tugging her closer, "when he said he'd be at your house at 8:15. He was at your house at 8:15. I think he made study guides for his study guides."

"I got the only normal Cale didn't I?" she closed her eyes and leaned back on him.

He laughed, "I think that's the first time you've ever described me as normal."

"Hmph," she said keeping her eyes closed, "only when compared to those people." Her eyes opened and she turned, "The locket thing was funny though."

"I feel sorry for Prescott," Logan dryly replied.

She shot forward and grabbed the box off the table, "So did a little baby Logan play with this?" she asked pulling out the rattle.

He took it from her, "I don't think you're actually supposed to use them," he turned it in his fingers.

"So what's the point of them?"

"I have no idea," he shook his head and handed it back over before tugging her back to him.

"Your aunt's a bitch," she said out of the blue.

"Yea," he nodded, "I noticed that." The joking scolding she'd given him over not sharing the news early with the family because it wasn't as if it was something they would be able to see as they would have if Max had been pregnant. From anyone else Logan would have accepted it as what it was, but not her.

Then of course there was the 'Oh Cale, well that's interesting,' as she admired the monogrammed baby clothing, 'I would have expected it hyphened.'

All things that would have sounded completely different coming out of anyone else's mouth but hers.

"I don't think she likes the fact that I lived long enough so when I die I have people to leave my money to that aren't related to her."

"Hmm," she said curling further into him again, "you did seem to be heading in that direction for a while."

"I think I would pay to see you in a Mommy & Me class," he said in a low voice that blew across her ear.

"Not enough money in the world," she closed her eyes. "She talked to me about poop Logan."

He laughed.

"How sad is your life that you talk about baby shit?"

"I don't know you curse about it quite a bit," he squeezed gently.

"That's different," she replied. Her diaper talk was, 'Not again,' and 'We're feeding you too much.' It was entirely different.

"I'm sorry," he said leaning his head back.

She groaned.

The front door opened as so did both of their eyes.

"Hey guys you decent?" Krit's voice called out.

She groaned again and turned into him, "They're out to get us."

* * *

**Don't forget to continue on to part eight.  
**


	8. Part Eight

Make sure you didn't miss part seven before you read this one!

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**Part Eight **

She groggily stretched out on the sofa. Trying to decide if she really wanted to get up or not.

Not appeared to be winning as she jammed the stray pillow back under her head and listened to the soothing sound of the rain against the windows.

A small bang in the kitchen caused her to open her eyes again as she softly smiled. Stretching out again looking at the living room.

The swing was paused, but she saw a hand reach out and she smiled shaking her head to stand and check on the now-awake baby.

"Hey are you actually awake and being quiet?" she asked as she stepped closer and then paused and simply stared.

Green eyes stared up at her, green eyes and a nearly bald head covered only by the faintest trace of fair hair.

She squatted down and stared some more at the little body covered in the black onsie that read, 'Whose your Daddy?' that she had almost bolted from in the store.

"Hi," she whispered to those eyes looking directly at her.

He started to flare and fuss a little bit and she automatically went to release him from his confinement.

She looked down at him again once he was cradled in her arms and let out a breathy laugh as she smiled and whispered, "Hi" again.

She couldn't do anything but stare at him. Stare and gently trace his features, the soft skin of his little arm. She knew him. He was hers. She could feel it all the way down to her bones. It overwhelmed her.

Laughter in the kitchen, more than just Logan's finally caused her gaze upwards and she looked back down with a smile. "Wanna see what's going out there?" she asked with a smile and a bounce.

"Hey," she said walking into the kitchen still smiling, realizing it had been a child's laugh paired with Logan's before. Will's laugh.

Crystal clear blue eyes looked up and held an innocent gleam as a hand was stuffed into his mouth. The contentment and joy continued to envelope her.

"Hey," Logan said grabbing the small hand with his own and pulled it out, "hey, we just talked about that."

"I wan' cookies," the eyes turned back to their father filled with desperate longing.

"I know," he smiled, "that's why we've got to get the dough on the sheet and not in your mouth," he cleaned off Will's hand with a dishtowel. "I didn't hear you guys get up," he said looking up with a smile.

"Like you ever hear me," she smirked. "Found this little one just staring up at the fishes."

"And they say babies can't focus," the proud papa replied as he tried to speed up the cookie dropping process.

_Ooh cookie dough, _Max's stomach finally realized. "We having cookies for dinner?" she asked.

"Yea," Will clapped and rubbed his hands together.

Logan sighed. "No, we're having **a** cookie before dinner. If I can ever manage to get dinner done that is." He looked up with _help me _smile.

She laughed, "How about you go back to working on dinner and leave the cookie making to me and Will. Makes sense we're the ones who are gonna eat them all. Right?" she smiled at the little boy. Smiled and felt another sensation of warmth wash over her as he looked up with delighted eyes.

He nodded, "Me n' Mom got it."

"Okay," he said looking questioningly down at the boy sitting happily on the island, any rules of hygiene or propriety forgotten from having two young boys in the house.

Max laughed and turned to leave.

"Just remember the faster you get the dough on the sheet, the quicker the cookies will be done."

A moment of silence followed as she slid the baby back into the chair, followed by rushed noises and a slight bang.

"No," Logan's voice called out. "You can't just dump the entire bowl out."

She laughed with closed eyes for a moment. She traced a chubby baby cheek with a finger before standing.

Logan was looking over with weary eyes as she walked into the room.

"Ooh," she said through pursed lips as she realized what that bang was. The open flour container whose contents now graced not only the counter, but the floor.

"Daddy did it," Will's once more innocent eyes said quickly turning to her.

"Because daddy was trying to save the cookies," he said now holding the bowl away from Will.

"Why don't you clean that up," she said walking over, "we got this," she took the bowl and kissed his cheek.

"Gee thanks," a brief nod.

"What were you thinking?" she asked smiling as she scooped the boy up by his waist with her free hand and swinging him around with her to sit on the stool.

He shrugged as his hands went to dive into the bowl again.

"Oh no no no," she laughed and pulled it back.

She kissed the top of his head, "You mister are off cookie duty."

"But-"

"You want cookies or not?" she asked.

He grunted.

"Be good or Daddy's never going to feed us again."

Logan laughed from his position on the floor.

The baby started to cry as the sheet was almost halfway full.

"Uh Logan," Max called out.

"I'm covered in flour Max," he replied.

"I want cookies," Will said looking up not having any of this.

"We'll just put what we have done now in the oven and cook the rest later," she promised as she stood.

"What the," Logan began and started to stand as Max's ears suddenly heard a bang upon a window in the living room.

"Bird-" she wondered aloud before an explosion rocked the ground they stood on and sent them flying as the windows shattered.

ooOoo

"This kid needs a snooze button," Logan muttered, "or at least a volume control."

She let out a shaky laugh.

"Hey are you okay?" he finally realized to ask as he turned back with the baby in his arms.

"Just peachy," she briskly replied annoyed with herself for not being up and back in control quickly like she normally was. She was just stunned. It was as if all life had suddenly been drained out of her. Left empty after knowing what full felt like.

"You sure?" he asked again as he raised up the ends of Will's sleeper.

"Yea," she shook her head. "Like I said peachy."

He continued about his task of changing the baby's diaper waiting for her to say anything more.

She scooted back and pulled her legs up as she leaned against the headboard, simply staring out.

"Max, I know you don't think talking will help, but it can't hurt."

She shook her head and briefly closed her eyes. Saying nothing though she knew would hurt him further. "Just Manticore finding us. I'm always either back in there or they find us out here," she swallowed deeply. She hated saying the words out loud.

"You know that's not going to happen right?"

She looked over and let out a brief laugh, "Right up until I close my eyes."

"They're not going to find us," he promised. He'd never let anyone take her from him again.

She nodded. "I never thought I'd go back there Logan…Never thought I'd end up back in there." She'd chosen to return, she just hadn't expected it to end as it had. "Then one day I wake up and I heard the awful sound of those machines…" she shook her head and rubbed the butt of her palm along her ribs where they'd cracked her chest.

"Hey," he said scooping the half dressed baby into his arms and leaning forward to her, pulling her into him, "you're never going to go back. You're going to be fine, we're gonna be fine."

"I know," she nodded. Her brain did know that. Her brain knew that Lydecker knew all of the Manticore inner-workings and was working against them. They had backup, behind backup in place making sure that Manticore never even got a hint of them.

"I've told you this before Max, if you want to move then I'll close everything up."

She shook her head. "Not gonna help Logan…I tried to outrun them before. Seattle's our home."

ooOoo

He woke up lonely and cold a few hours later, used to being so enmeshed with Max that a light blanket would suffice.

He groggily made his way out of bed and into the chair not willing to leave Max alone tonight. Not trusting where her thoughts would lead her.

She was standing at the window. Standing and staring. He wondered how long she'd been there like that.

"Max?" his tentative voice called out.

Her head nodded back a bit, but never fully turned seemingly fixed upon the night sky. "Hey."

"Another nightmare?"

She shook her head, "Never went back to sleep."

"Something you want to talk about?" he wheeled closer.

She shrugged, not really sure.

"Whatever it is just say it Max," he said stopping a few feet away from her.

"I think I lied," was all that she said.

It was like pulling teeth tonight he thought with an inward sigh paired with his worry. "Max-"

"I don't think I can do kids," the words quickly came out as she continued to look out, unable to face him.

Worry and fear instantly shot threw him, his eyes sought out the sleeping little person he hadn't been able to help falling in love with.

"Max-" the worry couldn't be hidden in his voice that had raised a few decibels.

She turned and realized what he was panicking about. She shook her head as her arms continued to remain crossed, "Not Will. He's for keeps. I got that. I'm not going to change my mind about him." _I can't. _

His entire body sagged with relief before he settled into another questioning gaze.

"Marianne kept talking about the _next one_. I-" she shrugged.

"Hey, that's okay," he wheeled towards her. "Think I wanted _any _before you?" He gave an honest, but lighthearted smile.

"You want kids," she'd seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice every time the subject had been mentioned.

"Only because you wanted kids," he completed the distance between them, "and if you didn't notice we have a kid."

"Not yours," _wow had that just sounded as horrible as it did in her head? _She flinched.

"He's mine in every way that matters," he said tugging a hand free from their confined position.

She looked down.

"Hey I did my duty, passed along the Cale name to the most intelligent and most physically able male that they've ever seen."

She gave a weak smile.

He tugged down on her hand and pulled her into his lap.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing's wrong with you," he brushed back her hair, "this is a lot for anyone. Hell most would have ended up in straight jackets."

"I wanted kids," she said with a choke in her voice. _Hell she still wanted kids. _That's what made it hurt so bad. She'd wanted that little boy in her dreams, she wanted to see him, to feel him everyday. She just couldn't survive losing him.

"And maybe you'll want them again someday. It's been less than a year Max," he reminded her. "You've got twenty plus years to change your mind."

She snuggled in closer to him.

"Though I should probably point out that all nightly feedings and diaper changes that don't belong to me once we get Will out of the house I'm sleeping through."

She laughed, "Old man."

"You know it," he squeezed her and smiled; glad to see the Max he was used to return.

"You'd tell me if this bothered you right?" she asked a few minutes later. "Promise I won't fall apart on you."

"I'm happy with what I have Max," he truthfully promised.

"What happens if that changes in a year? Two? Five?"

"It won't," he swore and felt her stiffen, "if it does I'll tell you. Everyday I wake up and you're in my arms," he smiled, "or singing in the shower or burning a pot…Point is everyday I wake up and you're still here and it's a miracle." He whispered softly so his breath was flowing against her face. "One I never plan to take for granted Max. I can't ever imagine wanting or needing more than just you."

"Good answer," she said with a very Max smile tinged with humor and allowed the rest of her to completely relax against him.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. Part Nine

**Thanks for reading folks! Very short chapter this time around. Max's POV regarding this subject will be longer.

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**

**Part Nine**

He was drained. Both physically and mentally. It was as if something had been clicked on in Max's mind when he'd awoken the previous Sunday. An 'If I act like its okay than it is,' it had been going in a fuller force than Logan had ever witnessed before, which was (as always with Max), saying a lot.

_Meant to throw everyone off her tail. _

He was unfortunately not as lucky as the rest of them. They walked in, stayed for a few hours, had a few laughs and then left feeling good.

He not only saw it for the act it was, he didn't have the opportunity to leave. A few hours off for work, meaning worrying about her in a different location and then back to Max. _A very needy Max. _

She seemed to dog his every step in the apartment and if she wasn't he could see it in her eyes and the tense position she'd be holding herself that she wanted to.

He'd normally describe them as a physically affectionate couple.

Lately though he was starting to think that even a sex addict would take pity on him.

Granted he may have had a few interesting _thoughts_ about Mrs. Brady when he was younger, but at this point in his life, he realized just how wrong he'd been. That perky, everything's great lady was not as much fun as he'd expected. _Especially when you know it's a lie. _

He tried snapping her out of it, it had finally happened on Thursday when she'd been bouncing around the kitchen putting together the final bits of dinner…

'Max can you just stop?' he finally said unable to slow her any other way.

She turned and looked up, her hand still holding a few servings of dry spaghetti, 'I thought you just said you were hungry?'

'I am, but that's not the point,' he walked over and extracted the spaghetti from her hand and placed it down on en empty pot lid.

She frowned over at it, 'What are you doing?'

'I'm trying to figure out what the hell you're doing,' he said looking down.

'I'm,' she nodded and reached past, 'making dinner.'

He let out an angry sigh as she dumped the pasta into the boiling water. 'You know what I mean.'

'No I don't Logan,' she turned looking annoyed.

'What is this?' he waved a hand as she walked away to give the salad a final flip.

'It's called making dinner Logan, figured you made it enough to know that.'

'Didn't we decide we'd take turns with dinner?' He asked full well knowing they had said exactly that when she decided to stay home with Will. She'd made a fuss about not being one of _those_ women.

'Yea well, I'm here and I can't leave. This just makes sense,' she paused and looked at him now in his new stance over the island, 'would you like me to stop?'

'Yes I asked you to several minutes ago,' he pointed out.

She dropped the tongs, 'What would you like me to do all day Logan? We can eat off of every surface in this apartment. I organized all the crap you've been putting off. Beat Sebastian in several games of chess. Changed a good hundred diapers easy. You know what doesn't fill much time. And doing situps while watching a vampire and a witch try to take over a sleepy middle American town, may be thrilling, but unfortunately daytime tv isn't on all day. So what else would you like me to do?'

The anger that he wanted to boil out of her merely simmered in her eyes, making him once more feel frustrated. 'I don't know yell Max? Bitch? Complain?'

'Yea,' she nodded, 'like that would do a lot of good Logan.'

_It may not do a lot of good, but it was **Max**. _

'Can I get back to dinner now?' she asked with annoyed eyes.

He let out a rough sigh and waved his hand as he took a step back.

That had been Thursday, this was Sunday. On Friday he'd berated himself during a lull finally in Senator Richardson's campaign blitz. Which the good senator swore wasn't a campaign blitz since his reelection was over a year away. It was a major public do-gooder blitz. He was being seen everywhere, promising reforms on everything since there had been a public outrage when the truth about children's group housing had come to light. Nothing the informed didn't already know, but the public was finally starting to catch on/begin to care after 3 deaths in a month.

He'd been assigned/asked for the job of reporting on this. It was a good story, gave him more access to the scene than he'd normally have, a nice vantage point for Eyes Only to see what actually needed to be done during the prep hours for the article. It also kept him out of the apartment for nearly normal work hours, a rarity.

It had been on Friday when he'd actually almost chosen to return to the office instead of returning home during some unusual downtime that all he needed to do was make a few phone calls. He quickly felt like a bastard when he realized what he'd been contemplating. She was the one going through this, while he was surprising well adjusted to their change in lifestyle. He was merely going through her going through this.

He was pretty sure however he was starting to crack from the pressure of trying to be strong enough to support her and was pretty sure that if any breaks presented themselves to him on Monday he would take them. Who knows maybe just put the seat back in his car for ten minutes and enjoy the solitude.

It suddenly occurred to him that he was already doing just that as he sat in his car with the scrap of paper with a jotted down phone number he'd walked down with Krit to retrieve. He'd quickly found it after saying goodbye to the other man, but continued to stare at the cement walls instead of immediately returning upstairs to Max who had been proving to her brother just how capable she was of taking care of his nephew for the better part of four hours.

If that hadn't done it the completed paperwork for Marianne's nursery school had, which Krit had laughed at when Max had told him. _Seemed three years in advance was only common to those who had Cale tacked on to the end of their names. _

His eyes closed in weary preparation as the doors of the elevator slid shut.

-o-

-o-o-o-

-o-

It was from the corner of his eye as they sat on opposite ends of the couch both leaning into their respective sides, the tv on as he looked over a file. He realized she wasn't watching the tv. She was staring at Will who was sleeping in the bouncer on the coffee table. Not adoringly as people tended to with infants. A focused stare. Controlled. He'd caught her doing it a few times in the past two weeks since they'd decided Will would remain with them.

That's when he realized something and the file fell a little bit as he watched her.

The act wasn't for them. Not for their friends, not for him.

It was for her.

She was trying to trick herself.

Trick herself into being Will's mother.

"Something wrong?" she asked turning seeing his change in position.

"No," he shook his head and leaned forward to rest the file on the coffee table next to Will, "just sick of reading." He leaned back and turned to her with a smile, "Don't suppose I could interest you in some dessert?"

"And here I thought I'd actually landed a smart guy," she said with an easy smile as she slid to her feet.

"Hey," he returned her smile and light banter, "at least I'm smart enough to come up with the offer of dessert."

"Good point," she nodded as she picked up the bouncer and he led the way into the kitchen.


	10. Part Ten

AN: Why the reply button is like the greatest invention ever? You guys get to tell me when something's a little off, point out things that should be explored further. Take for instance this chapter. This chapter has a big old part of Mari in it, who had a thing with the whole adoption thing (okay yes I summed up a much bigger convo into that). Made me realize we needed to see much more of Max and Kendra's convo regarding that aside from Kendra's: "This had to have been in the works for awhile," she continued to look dismayed. _You didn't just get a kid overnight._ So therefore we are getting more of that in this chapter and I hope it encourages you all to comment on things that you think should be further explored. Though I didn't have them explore this topic as much as Mari and I did in our emails because well as you know Max, she's a quick and to the point girl. No need for dilly dallying unless it has to do with her relationship with Logan. :-P

Thanks for reading guys!

* * *

**Part Ten **

Monday: 

"And here we are again," she said on a sigh to the baby in her arms as she listened to click of the door, probably one of the loneliest sounds she'd ever heard as she was sealed into her prison for yet another day.

It amazed her how quickly her home could become that cell. A spacious luxury penthouse…

Maybe that's why Krit wouldn't stop visiting, maybe he got that. Got how similar these red walls could be to those gray…

Still annoyed the crap out of her, but it did touch something within her at the same time.

"Now what should we do today?" her voice held a slight lilt as she spoke to him.

She could do it, she could be the mom she'd always wanted for him. At least that's what she kept telling herself over and over again. Problem was she still didn't want to be a mom. Ever, to anyone. She wanted to turn that part of her off. The part that could care…

Off to everyone, but Logan. She couldn't imagine not wanting to love him. She'd rather a day with him followed by a lifetime of misery than a lifetime of being alone as whacked out as that sounded.

She was guessing if they hadn't figured it out in the twenty years they had Jace how to turn that off than it was pointless of her to wish for it.

"Everyone else falls in love with you," she whispered in a light tone making sure he had no idea what she was saying.

He blinked at her, a sleepy blue.

"They all just fell in love with you," she stroked his cheek and smiled as he turned for it. She wondered how long that reflex lasted. _Maybe she hadn't read that book as carefully as she thought she had. _

Suddenly it felt as if her arms started to burn and she was nearly ready to start gasping for air as the weight of him became too indistinguishable from her dreams. He was in the bouncer on the coffee table within seconds as he looked up at her looking almost confused as her arms were clenched up towards her and her hands opened and squeezed shut on their own several times before she got control of herself again.

She slunked down to the black couch and shakily inhaled as she pulled her legs up and lowered her head. _She had to learn how to get control of herself again! _

The dreams had just seemed to wash over her. That flood of love and caring and utter peace, followed by horrific pain before she had even a moment to savor the warmth of the previous emotions. _Hearing that cry disappearing down the hallway…. _

She looked up with watery eyes, not at Will, but clear across the room, staring at the wall above the tv as she started to beat down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

Once calm her eyes returned to Will. She smiled looking at him. "It should be so easy to fall in love with you," she whispered to the sleeping boy. He was cute, she could see that. He'd been cute from the start, skipping the homely stage as if something within him knew he needed every advantage he could muster.

He'd be a heartbreaker as Original Cindy predicted if he continued on this way. The dark hair, blue eyes and olive skin. Probably end up a decent height since…

She took a breath and shook away that thought, not allowing her mind to go there.

A heartbreaker nevertheless especially growing up around Logan. He certainly had the sexiest and most charming personality she ever experienced; of course considering how often he drove her to thoughts of pulling out her hair…Well there was a reason why they called them heart_breakers_.

"I'm gonna figure this out," she promised herself and the infant. _She had to figure this out. _

"Maybe when we actually blow this joint we should check out some of Marianne's classes." Her mind rebelled at the thought of that. All those happy moms and babies… "At least that way you can see what I'm supposed to look like."

Her mind started to mentally go through the flier Marianne had given her. The list of activities that made Max's stomach turn. "Maybe the yoga class?" she offered remembering a separate brochure from Marianne's gym. It like the baby massage was supposed to further or in her case initiate the bond between mother and child. But at least with that there would be something else to focus on besides Will. "Think we both know I could use some inner peace," she said with a shake as she stood having enough of reflection for the day, hell possibly the year.

She paused in the doorway of the office staring at the computer wondering if she should try to find something to make herself useful, but then thought of that thin wisp of a document tucked in along with all of their personal documents, just like hers as false as it could be on official paper.

Name: Cale, William Samuel

Father's Name: Cale, Logan Christopher

Mother's Maiden Name: Guevara, Maxine Anne

She frowned just as she had when she'd read it. She hated seeing things tacked on to her name. How many different names had she seen tacked on to the end of hers? How many different first names had she forced herself to adjust to?

She always seemed to finally be adjusting to them just when Manticore would get on her tail again and it would be new once more.

She'd gotten used to Max Guevara though, just not the rest of the letters she'd put down on her application form for Normal.

Most people had middle names, just like how most people had last names. They were a necessary part of blending in and girls were not named Max, she'd learned that pretty quickly as well.

That document though with its 6lbs and 3oz and 6:17PM…

Made them seem like they'd waited nine months for that day to arrive, that Logan had been by her side as she brought their child into the world. That document was the furthest thing from the truth.

It reminded her of how Kendra just wouldn't let the subject go…

_"So did you buy him or what?" Kendra asked after Logan had gone to bed as she fed Will his bottle. _

_"What?" Max asked looking over confused. _

_"Give Max the baby 'cuz you've just earned an Original Cindy beat down," Cindy said looking at Kendra while pointing at Max. _

_"What people don't just get babies overnight," she defended. _

_"It wasn't overnight," Max stood to go take the baby. _

_"Yea," Kendra said looking up, "like I'm stupid enough to let him go now. So explain to me Max, very slowly exactly how you got this kid and how I'm just finding out about him now." _

_"Logan got him," Max said sitting, "I don't know the details I wasn't there. It was in the works for awhile, but we weren't sure if it was going to work out, so it just made sense to keep our mouths shut." _

_"So you didn't buy him?" _

_If ever there were a time to admit that Will truly belonged to her, this was it. She let that moment pass. "Like I said I don't know the details," she shrugged. _

_"Buying a fuckin kid," Original Cindy muttered under her breath as she continued to shake her head. _

_"It was a good question," Kendra defended once again. "Max," Kendra's voice softened as she leaned in a bit, "don't take this the wrong way, but why the hell did you adopt a kid? You guys haven't even been together a year." _

_"Plenty of people have a kid within a year. Look at Tina and Corey," she referred to the young couple in her old building who all wished had waited a bit longer, preferably until they moved out of the building or at least that had been the world in the halls every time she visited. _

_"Yea people fuck up or impulsively decide to have a baby, not go out of their way and adopt." _

_All questions that needed to be answered Max realized with a calm thought and was annoyed with herself for yet again not having the lie prepared. _

_"Please that first year counts," Cindy said dismissing Kendra's claims, hoping to either put the girl off or buy Max more time. _

_"It just seemed kind of stupid to wait," Max said standing as she saw Will had tapered off from the bottle after barely an ounce. Her hands slid around him, Kendra too interested in the response to react. _

_Max cradled the baby close to her as she took the short walk to grab a diaper to toss over her leg before returning to her chair and lowering the baby down to her lap to burp him. "We almost really blew it last time," she said simply as she looked across at her friend. _

_Both girls just waited for more as their hearts slightly tore at how close they'd come to actually losing her and the gift it had been for her to return. _

_"Better too soon than never at all right?" she shrugged. "We just didn't want to fuck it up again." _

_Kendra launched herself across the small space and slung her arms around the side of Max, carefully not to jostle the baby whose back Max was patting, "You guys could never fuck it up. You're supposed to do the friend thing for awhile. You just caught me off guard a little with him," she said releasing Max from the hug and squatting down to Will's level. _

_"Gotta tell you something Kendra," she gave a watery smile, "he kinda caught me off guard too." She couldn't lie to Kendra, she couldn't fake day in and day out to her friend, if not for the fact that she was her friend, than the fact that she'd never fall for it. _

_Kendra pouted as she hopped up a bit and once more wrapped her arms around Max. "You're going to be fine. You're going to be a great mom Max." _

She wanted what Kendra said to be true, but somehow she doubted it.

A great mom needed to feel and she couldn't. She kept trying, but it wasn't working.

She was driving Logan insane, her sister wasn't talking to her, her brother was driving her insane and suck in the middle of it all was an innocent little kid who did nothing wrong expect get stuck with her DNA.

**-o- **

**-o-o-o- **

**-o- **

Wednesday: 

"Afternoon Maxie," Krit called out coming into the kitchen as she was testing Will's bottle as he was cradled in her other arm as he was crying at the top of his lungs at her for not having his bottle prepared ignoring the fact that he'd decided he was hungry an hour earlier than usual.

"Aww, awww, hey there little guy," he said rushing towards his nephew and quickly scooping him away, "is your Momma being slow? I gotta let you in on something, learn now that it's all females and not just her," he snatched away the bottle Max held out for him.

"Your uncle on the other hand," he said as the baby latched on, "gets the job done quickly."

"Maybe you shouldn't teach him that that's a good thing," Syl replied dryly as she walked into the room effectively canceling out Max's smile over her brother's insanity.

"Don't listen to her," Krit said in hushed tones to the baby.

"Max," Syl nodded towards her.

"Syl," she nodded back.

"Both of you fuckin get over it," Krit rolled his eyes as their brother and not the boyfriend/friend stuck in the middle.

"Over what?" they turned and asked in unison.

He looked down at his nephew, "Second life lesson, avoid females."

**-o-o-o- **

Bath time would never get old Max thought with a smile as she slid down into the bubbles. Logan kept sending her off to the bathroom every time he couldn't send her off for a ride, it worked, not as effectively, but it worked. So she'd retreated having no desire to play nice with her sister. Bubbles, oil, and salt, the perfect blend for her and Quackers, the yellow duck Logan had bought for randomly one day all while she laughed in the background at the stand.

Yup just her, the bubbles, music and Quackers, with just the occasional sound effect of 'boop' from her as she'd tap him on the head and send him into the water only to come up bobbing.

"This is the life," she said just before she slid under the water as everything else was drowned out.

**-o-o-o- **

"Oh sorry," Syl said as Max walked out of the bathroom and into her room covered only by her towel.

Max shrugged as she walked past her sister who had been gazing down into the crib.

"Krit was being loud. Didn't want to keep the kid up," she explained.

"He's pretty good except for sudden noises," Max offered in response. "Might want to turn down that blanket and just use the thin one," she said as she pulled upon a drawer, "he'll overheat." _She and Cindy had learned that one the hard way. _

"Oh," Syl nodded and turned back to do just that. "He's cute," she said offering up as another bridge as her sister dressed.

Max smiled, "OC says he's going to be real popular with the ladies."

Syl looked over for that a bit confused.

"Doesn't get why anyone would want to be with a man," Max explained just as Cindy had explained it to her.

"Ah," she turned back and nodded. "Yea I still can't figure out the draw."

Max shrugged, "Eh I've got no complaints." Once upon a time Logan might have made her consider putting her head or his through one of those paper walls, but that seemed like another lifetime ago.

"Yea you've made that kind of obvious," Syl replied with a sisterly smirk.

"Hey when you've got a good thing," Max replied with a shrug.

_She wasn't going to make this easy, _Syl thought, regretting how harsh she'd been the first day that had caused this distance between them. "He seems happy, Will that is," she tacked on the end as Max had looked a tad confused and started opening her mouth.

"Oh," Max nodded, _that made more sense. _Happy and Logan maybe weren't the best words to pair together. _Logan__ and coping maybe?_ "Doesn't take much to make him that way, fed, burped and clean and he's good to go."

"Yet he has more stuff than me," Syl smiled. Logan's safe house had stuff. She had clothes, her bike, Fluffernut and Krit, whom she'd mistakenly let name their cat. She looked back down at Will, if they ever had kids he was getting no say in them whatsoever.

"He's got more than half of Seattle," Max replied dryly.

"I think Krit wants one," Syl suddenly offered up hoping to draw her sister out.

Max looked a little stunned by that, then thought about how eagerly her brother leapt at everything baby related. "And what about you?" she asked leaning up against the dresser.

"We don't have the life for a kid," she shook her head, "we'll probably never have the life for a kid." She looked back down at Will and wondered if she'd ever have that. Have all of this. The home with _their _things, their _permanent _things. One home for years upon years. A place to raise kids to live one of those _normal _lives.

"Not like anyone does nowadays," no one she knew with a kid had a kid knowing they could always take care of it. They'd just hoped love might actually be enough. Sometimes it was.

Syl continued to look unconvinced as she looked down at Will searching out what little bits belonged to which sibling. It was a little hard to do on someone as young as him. She just kept seeing her sister, her very hurt sister in him.

"Worse things than Krit procreating, like Sketchy."

Syl smiled, "He's not that bad."

"Sketch or Krit?" Max asked with a smile.

"Sketch," Syl turned and smiled as she shook her head, "Krit should probably never be allowed to ever have offspring. Nutters proves that," their cat was a maniac thanks to Krit who thought it was fun to teach him to pounce on anything that moved including her feet.

"He take his whole bottle?" Max asked not really sure where she was supposed to take this conversation as their conversation dropped off.

"There was a little left," she frowned, "actually probably less than that since I think half of it ended up down Krit's shirt. Speaking of which Krit borrowed one of Logan's."

Syl laughed when she caught sight of Max's scrunched up face, "Found something that's tight on Logan so he doesn't look like a kid wearing his parents clothing."

Max's hand rose up and covered her mouth as a short burst of laughter emerged as she imagined just that.

"Damn," she said as she started towards the crib as Syl turned to the suddenly crying baby, "like I said sudden noise."

**-o- **

**-o-o-o- **

**-o- **

Monday: 

She was guessing that ball she'd wished for back in Manticore wouldn't have entertained her as much as she thought it would have. TV with every station you could get in Seattle. Computer with not only access to the internet, which continued to boom although the majority no longer owned them, but pointless computer games meant to pass the hours. Books: novels, short stories, plays poetry. Treadmill, elliptical and weights. Fully stocked fridge. A bathroom that would make most of Seattle weep with envy. And the only thing that held any interest to her was the bottle of Jack kept in the cabinet. She was debating just pulling it and a glass down and tossing the onesie on the kid that said, 'My Momma drinks because I cry' in case Logan came home while she was passed out.

Of course she wouldn't.

Hmmm maybe the better statement would be: she hadn't yet.

But oh she was getting there.

She groaned and hopped off the stool she'd been sitting on for a whopping ten minutes reading one of the magazines out of the stack Logan had bought for her. Magazines along with some comic books, mad libs, crossword puzzles, Su Doku…

He asked about maybe a paint by numbers or one of those teaching videos, offered to pick up a guitar, the knitting he'd suggested, she'd threatened to stab him in the eye with a needle if he ever even thought about it again.

He was cute and considerate, but damn she was bored and not bored for human contact, at least none but his because EVERYONE kept visiting. She just wanted out.

Maybe calling Marianne wasn't such a bad idea though.

Hey baby poop had to be more interesting than who was wearing what in LA, well those who could afford to wear anything aside from threadbare hand-me-downs.

Kendra had somehow managed to land a short term gig as a translator for a local law firm who was in negations for something with a Japanese client, but had stopped by once after work last week and once again during the weekend. Original Cindy and Krit had both come over a handful of times, Syl that once and Marianne had made a quick stop by on Friday to try to entice Max into coming to a baby massage class. Max had actually wished she'd been able to say yes.

But she kept smiling, and laughing, and joking and acting as if she wouldn't step in from of her clone again if given the opportunity.

She paced into the living room and spied the phone on the coffee table.

She could call Prescott start crying and he'd demand Logan go home and stay home until she felt better.

She wouldn't though.

Not yet.

She checked on Will who was happily dozing in his basinet. Gave a little flick to a pastel star hanging above him as she looked at him and wished she could sleep half as much as the kid, that would certainly help pass the time.

Sam had come by on Sunday and checked him out as best as Sam could as he continued to search for a doctor he deemed trustworthy of knowing their secret.

Sam had said just what the books had been telling them so far Will was perfectly normal. He was starting to follow things with his eyes which was a little advanced for his age but not uncommon.

He couldn't have chosen less sleep to be his little uncommon quirk? Could he?

She frowned and walked away. Picked up the book she'd tossed on the table awhile ago. The Di Vinci Code, not that interesting since she'd watched the movie a few years ago. She groaned as she fell back on the sofa and smothered a pillow over her face as she let out a louder one. Her hand reached out and grabbed the remote before she even remerged and she rolled over as it flipped on.

She stayed like that for a half hour refusing to give in to the urge to move. She was going to fall into the Peterson's soon if she paced anymore and she somehow doubted their downstairs neighbors would simply say hello as she landed on their cat.

The door opened._ Shit, _was the only thought that ran through her head and she shot up as she flipped off the tv and caught her reflection in it, seeing what she already knew was there. Her hair a tangled mess, spit up on the corner of her shirt, along with a splash of coffee at the bottom, hell she hadn't even brushed her teeth after eating that entire container of garlic humus as her lunch.

While she might have nothing to do she was sick to death of changing and fixing herself up since she was only seeing the person who kept doing these things to her.

She knew it was Logan easily from the sound of the exo as he made his way towards the living room.

In Logan's defense he didn't flinch at the sight of her, just smiled as brightly as he always did.

"Hey," she said walking and not running over like she wanted to, "I wasn't expecting you home."

"I can tell," he smiled.

She lifted up and pecked his lips.

His hand came around and held her up as he sniffed, "You start eating whole cloves of garlic?" Once more in his defense he gave her another quick kiss since he still had her thre.

She laughed and lowered down, "Not my fault you're the one who does the food shopping."

"Speaking of which," he smiled, "I brought you a surprise. Stay put," he smiled.

She pouted as he walked away.

"What the hell is that?" she asked a moment later, hearing what sounded like her bike being pushed and started walking towards him.

A stroller.

Another stroller.

One of those jogging ones in various grays and black with just a touch of orange piping.

_Why the hell did they need another stroller? _She thought still frowning at it, they couldn't even use the one they had.

He was smiling brightly by the time she finally got it and looked up.

He just barely managed to stay upright as she launched himself at him.

Just barely managed not to bust his ass sometime later as she pushed him into the guest room.

"I thought you were desperate to get out of here," his voice was breathy as he was pushed back on the bed.

"It can wait a few," she said with one of the first truly honest and happy smiles he'd seen in awhile.


	11. Part Eleven

**AN: Oh man Max and Logan are TOO grown up in this story. I must remember to do something soon to fix that. Thanks for reading folks, oh and yea totally grossed myself out with new web pages for the end of this chapter, so realize you're getting it mild. I saw pics. :-(

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**Part Eleven **

He realized as she ignored his entrance, looking at the computer screen she was standing and leaning over in a long sleeved wrap dress in a bold tan and white pattern that fell mid-calf, her hair in soft waves falling just past her shoulder bone, that he'd never wanted her to change.

Most people tended to have certain ideals in their minds when it came to the person they wanted to love forever. They fit a mold. And hearts were usually broken when they failed to fit it. He'd expected things from Daphne, from Valerie, with Max though…

Max he tended to just feel honored that she wanted him in her life.

She had been a breath of fresh air in the stagnant world he lived in.

Seeing her, in the dress…

She'd purchased it for Margo's bridal shower of all places. She'd worn it then just as she wore it now with a pair of tan dressy sandals as she remained in shock over being invited in the first place. But Max had never been one to pass up a challenge. She dutifully sipped tea that early afternoon in late September back when he was still getting used to waking up and her being there. Sipped tea and probably threw back a few glasses of champagne while no one was looking (and a few while they were) with the who's who of Seattle Society. Made nice with all of his cousins' wives and returned home that evening without much complaint, but plenty of stories.

She donned a simple golden cocktail dress for his aunt's evening wedding that had taken place in early November, not far enough from Halloween for them not to make jokes.

Seeing her now though was different from seeing her then, just as it was different from seeing her at Bennett's wedding, or the Christmas party they had suffered through or Noelle's christening just a few months ago.

Those had been events, things out of the ordinary; few normally were who they were at those events. Seeing her in a dress though on a regular day…

Just like seeing the matching, fitted pajamas she wore most nights instead of stained, ripped tee-shirts and sagging boxers…The manicures she'd admitted she'd started to get because Cindy claimed 'guys notice these things.'

He couldn't stand the fact that she'd change for him. He didn't want her to change; he wanted her to do the things that made her happy. A slightly foolish thought he was aware, but his nonetheless.

"You're dressed up," he said walking in smiling.

She turned gold hoops in her ears and a smile on her face.

"I expected you to be out," he continued to walk to her.

"Finally got the kid all fed, packed and changed and it started raining a twenty minutes into our walk and guess what the one thing I forgot to pack was?"

"I'm guessing that would be the rain hood," he smiled.

She smiled and shrugged a shoulder as she lifted her head for a hello kiss, "Kid doesn't seem to be any worse for the wear; I threw a blanket over the stroller and blazed."

"None of this explains the dress," he lifted it up a piece of the skirt.

"You're taking me to dinner," she smiled.

"No Crash?"

"It's Monday, the place will be pretty dead and I figured I'd just leave all the questions for tomorrow stop by wo…Jam Pony and show off the kid."

_So much for super mom being gone with the return of her freedom. _"So you in a dress?" he once more questioned.

She frowned, looked down and then back up, "You normally like me in a dress, actually your jaw normally hits the floor and drool emerges so what gives?"

"Nothing, just you in a dress and there's no engraved invitation."

"You've seen me in skirts before," she pointed out.

"Yes but those," he said thinking of the short minis she'd wear out to a club occasionally with him, but mostly with the girls, "don't look anything like this," he once more lifted the side of the skirt.

She was starting to fume; he could almost see the smoke coming out of her ears. _Bad move Cale, _he realized. "You look amazing," he said pulling her back with an arm around her waist as she went to move, "just threw me. This doesn't really look like you."

"Yea well not everyone wants to be themselves 24/7," _had that really just slipped out of her mouth? _"Saw it in my closet, next to every other dress I almost never wear and thought it would make a nice change to celebrate the big night."

"You call Krit and Syl to baby-sit?"

Max shook her head.

"You know we can't just leave him here alone," Logan asked with amused lips.

"Haha," she replied dryly. "Everyone's busy so we're going to that Italian place we swore we'd never go back to because of the kids."

_Actually they hadn't said that, the comment that had passed his lips had been one of staying away until they had one of their own to join the chorus of laughter and screams that had accompanied their meal. She'd smiled, 'Sounds like a plan,' just before their lips met in a quick kiss during the walk to the car. _

Ignoring that thought and knowing better to mention it he simply moved on, "Nonna Maria's?" he was still confused, the place had been pretty casual, walk in off the street type of place. The dress was still throwing him for a loop.

"And I'm picking the meal or we're going to have leftovers for two weeks again."

He smiled, it had been a family style place so everything was meant to serve 3-4 people easily, "Max, I hate to break it to you, but you finished everything up by the next night."

She looked puzzled, "Then why do I remember eating it for like a dozen meals."

"Because it was your late night snack and then your breakfast," he nodded with each meal, "and then your lunch, then we both had it for dinner before finishing it off in another late night snack, possibly even a couple."

"How do you remember these things?"

"Your eating habits are highly entertaining," he smiled.

"Haha," she once more said sarcastically.

"Want to give me five minutes to freshen up?"

"Take all the time you want, figure we've got at least another hour before this kid's been fed and has his diaper changed again. Hmm you know come to think of it, I'm gonna heat up a bottle, see if I can get him to eat a little now. We're not going to be one of _those _couples," she said tossing her head over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

"I don't think people choose to be one of _those _couples," he threw out knowing she meant people who disrupted everyone else's meal because they assumed children meant a free pass.

"Hey," she said walking back into the room with a blanket draped over her shoulder protecting the dress from all things baby related, with said baby in her arms, "you don't need to stay in the restaurant or the movie when the kid's been screaming his head off for five minutes straight."

_He had a feeling she was in for a few rough surprises when it came to parenting. _

ooOoo

"You do look amazing you know," he said creeping up behind her as she checked out her reflection in the hall mirror that had started this all.

She pouted, "I think it looks kinda funny."

He simply looked puzzled.

"Last time I had it pinned up here," she pulled the top of the dress together taking away the long v-neck it created.

He frowned and realized he'd forgotten that, forgotten the scar she'd had to hide for so long.

"It feels like it's missing something now," she let the dress fall away from her fingers and went to tug everything back into its appropriate place. _The only aspect of living with Logan to be a draw back, he was a male and therefore lacking all the girly things. Major plus all other times, but this one. _

"I can help you out there," he said running his hands along her arms as he smiled before walking away.

She followed him as he headed towards the safe. "You been holding out on me Cale," she teased, all while slightly unsure.

Watched as it opened and wondering if the awaiting gift was for their anniversary or her birthday.

Black jewelry box. Flipped open. His mother's locket.

She just stared at it.

"No time like the present to give it to you," his long fingers continued to frame the velvet.

_Except for when I do something to deserve it, _she looked up with weary eyes, not knowing how she could refuse it.

"You don't need to wear it tonight, but it's yours now."

"I think your mother had something else in mind when she left you this," _and she, Max, was keeping that from ever becoming a reality. Logan Cale would stop with him. _

"Regardless of how we came to it," he said putting the necklace to the side as his arms slid around her waist, "you are the mother of my child."

She looked at him still baffled and shook her head.

"Max," he tilted her head up to look at him, "nothing's ever been ordinary or normal between us, it makes sense that this isn't as well."

She watched him for a moment, "You love him?" she finally asked.

He looked a little startled and it took him a moment to nod, "I do."

"You never call him your son; you never refer to yourself as _Daddy._" People did that, she knew people did that, they started referring to themselves by the new name, they started talking about themselves in the third person, 'You know Daddy doesn't like it when you do that…Be a good boy for Daddy.' Pointless things like that. She realized now, she was keeping Logan from that. She was keeping him from expressing love like he would have normally.

He hedged on an answer.

"You can you know, I'm not going to break down." She shook her head, "You Daddy, me Mommy," she said nonchalantly as the tremor was held within and the tears wanted desperately to get a chance to even just glisten.

"Max," he said with a sad smile and stroked her cheek.

Will's cry thankfully stopped the moment, she smiled, "See I think someone wants his Daddy to change his diaper so we can get this show on the road."

"Max," he called out after her as she grabbed the box and turned to leave the room.

ooOoo

Max provided the obligatory smiles as the hostess oohed and awed over Will, followed by the server and the couple seated close to them.

The restaurant was dead; not exactly surprising considering it was a Monday, leaving the place with a nice relaxed atmosphere for them. There were two other couples aside from them and a family of five on the opposite end of the restaurant. The hostess was the wife of the owner/chef if she remembered correctly had seated them out of the main path of traffic so Will's massive stroller wouldn't block anyone's way.

"So explain to me why there's only a changing table in the women's bathroom?" Max questioned regarding part of the speech the hostess had gone on and on about as she oohed over Will.

"I don't know," Logan smiled as he went to pick up his menu, "but I think we have a new favorite restaurant."

"Haha," she replied sarcastically.

"How about the eggplant-" Logan began studying the menu.

"You can cover it in as much batter as you want, smother it in cheese and it's still a vegetable Logan, I'm a carnivore if you haven't picked up on that."

"Veal-"

"Not so much that I feel the need to eat baby cows," she pointed out.

"Chicken Scaloppini?"

"Too much lemon," she said still studying her menu and not looking at him.

"Want to just tell me what we're eating?"

"Chicken Parm," she put down the menu smiling.

"Sounds good," he smiled, "there isn't much to start with, but if you want-"

" Logan, we've got an hour and a half tops," she pointed out. Not at all interested in trying out their folding changing table.

"I'm guessing that means we'll be having half a carafe of whatever their house red is," he said returning the wine list he'd just picked up.

ooOoo

"Oh come on," Logan muttered as he tried to lower Will back into his stroller after a brief cry that quickly dissipated once in Logan's arms, but as Will moved away from Logan's body the cries started again as Max shot him an evil look as she smiled apologetically at the other patrons.

"I told you, the kid's got ESP or something," Max said spearing the tomato slice on her plate as Logan was looking down in defeat at the baby. _ The kid's sense of timing…_

"It's just not natural," he continued to look. He realized what he said and his eyes rolled up to see Max looking at him with 'duh' eyes.

"It really take you almost a month to get that?"

ooOoo

He looked down and debated as their meal was brought out. Their salad's had passed without further interruption as Will remained in Logan's arms. Salad was easy though, you speared everything with your fork. Chicken Parm required two hands.

She rolled her eyes yet again as she watched Logan testing the water as he slowly moved Will away from him.

She refrained from shaking her head as she watched the small form snap back towards Logan's body as Will's lips started to part as she served them both.

Logan continued to watch, anticipating and worrying that eyes were going to fly open and a wail would start to emerge as she started to cut up his cutlet.

"You know what," he said with a small smile emerging as he started to move Will away again, "I don't think that's necessary."

She stopped cutting as Logan shifted the baby over to the stroller and he let out a sigh watching Will's head fall gently to the side as he never stirred.

"How is it?" he asked with a nod after taking a long sip of his wine.

"Not as good as it should be considering it's probably our last meal out for the next decade."

ooOoo

She pulled out the cell he'd stored in his pant's pocket as he continued to eat as he looked at her with confused eyes.

Looking at the phone and looking at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Think we have time for dessert?"

"I can't make any promises," he honestly answered; they had a rough time frame for all of Will's activities, but nothing definite.

She frowned and continued to look around seeing what others were eating.

"I bet if we ask nicely they could wrap up a couple of those chocolate-amaretti tortes I recall reading and I do believe you hid a bottle of your favorite port a few weeks ago to save it from Krit."

_That she had, it had moved a lot in these past few weeks, no where stayed safe long from Krit, really should at least put a dent in it before he found it and they barely got any…_She looked over with interested eyes and a smile. She scanned the room once more looking for their waiter.

"I'm sure you'll see him in a few minutes when he makes his five minute eye contact to make sure there's nothing we need," Logan replied dryly, he liked good service but this was pushing it.

He paused a few moments later as he speared a rontini Max had insisted on ordering because it worked so perfectly in the multilayered fork technique she required for certain foods, chicken parm and pasta were apparently on the same level as roasted chicken and mashed potatoes. He didn't pause because of his unconscious analysis of her eating habits, but instead the guarded look in her eyes as she stared past him.

He slowly turned not wanting to look obvious and by the time he had a little girl, six or seven with curly red hair and freckles was staring down at Will.

"He's cute," she said looking over at them, "can I play with him?"

"Sarah honey," her mother said rushing over, "I told you to stay in the bathroom. I'm sorry," she looked up and apologized.

"I'm still in the restaurant," the little girl pointed out as if it were close enough. "I wanted to see the baby, you wouldn't let me." She'd asked repeatedly during dinner, finally she _had_ to take matters into her own hands.

"Well now you've seen the baby and disturbed his nice parents," the mother lightly scolded.

"It's no problem really," Logan smiled.

The woman returned it with a slightly weary one. She'd had smarter ideas than taking her mother-in-law out for her birthday along with her apparently 'perfect' husband and two children, whose imperfections were apparently a matter of genetic flaws on her side and poor parenting. "Well just the same," she shook her head, "I'm sorry and he is absolutely precious," her head tilted to the side, "and he stays were you put him," she sighed.

They both laughed and the little girl was led away with a frown occasionally looking back.

Logan awaited whatever it was Max had to stay as she sat looking at him, glancing briefly past him a few times to check on their 'guests' distance. He wasn't sure exactly what he expected, maybe a comment about Will when he was older, he knew for certain he didn't expect the words that came out of her mouth.

"She didn't wash her hands," came across in hushed tones.

Logan just looked at her confused, _had she developed some abilities he wasn't aware of? _

"Kid goes missing from the bathroom, think she stopped long enough to wash her hands?"

_Good point. _His eyes briefly glanced over and he saw the mother with a napkin in her hand attempting to remove some sauce from her son's face. "Where is that waiter?" he turned around looking.

ooOoo

…

**Jam Pony (the next day): **

"Holy shit Max has a kid," reached Cindy's ears before Max had even made it through the entrance. She smiled to herself, keeping her mouth shut had been a challenge as everyone debated and pestered her for details regarding Max's sudden departure. Some had speculated illness, an unexpected complication from her accident. Most decided that was way too long ago to be having any effect on her now and had placed their money on Max being knocked up.

"What the hell Max you have the gestation period of a cat?" Sketch called out hoping off the bike he'd been screwing around with despite Normal's repeated demands for him to 'cease and desist.'

Original Cindy watched Max startle a bit, the feline joke hitting a little to close.

"Yea like I'd pop one of these things out, if I could let someone else do it for me," she replied with a cocked head. "Some of us actually use our heads before getting into these things."

"Hey Boo," Cindy said strolling up to the crowd that was starting to gather.

"Hey girl, I come bearing lunch," Max smiled, trying to keep her nerves down and her actions normal.

"Okay show's over folks," Normal said making his way over to the crowd Max was mostly ignoring focusing on the safety of her best friend's face.

He looked down into the stroller. Will dozing with a black cap on his head, a black onesie mostly covered by the light cream blanket tucked around him. "Figures, he already looks like a felon…Nice to know you're starting him early. Don't even think you're taking a longer break because you've got company," he ordered Original Cindy before walking away.

They both rolled their eyes.

He turned back "Oh and Max, let me on behalf of the entire world thank you for not procreating. Heaven knows the kid's going to have enough strikes against him getting his nurture half from you, including nature in that would just be cruel and unusual punishment." His voice raised, "You should all take note and follow Max's lead if you must subject a child to your parenting."

She smiled, "Bite me."

"That was pretty laid back for you," Cindy smiled as Normal raised his finger as he began to comment back only to be interrupted by a phone call.

"Feeling kind of generous, I mean the kid's ride is worth more than his. Words are all the poor guy has."

"So what's for lunch?" Cindy asked heading towards the table.

Max paused and ducked down pulling out a brown bag tucked into the stroller's basket before popping back up with a satisfied smile., "Chicken Parm Roll?"

"Girl if I didn't love you before…"

ooOoo

"Hands off the kid," Max snapped as she saw Sketchy's long fingers making their way to the baby.

"Oh come on Max, I need practice," he said shooting up.

"Practice on your own, no way your grubby paws are touching this kid unless you're wearing a mask and rubber gloves, you're covered in germs. I've seen you eat candy bars off the street."

"Oh come on it was wrapped."

Max rolled her eyes. Lydecker had informed Logan that the differences between an X-series infant and the nature made kind were negligible up until the first or second year. Not to mention only some of the immunities the x-series had were actually coded into their DNA, shots upon shots had been a regular occurrence in their childhood, the bottle versus breast probably made him even more vulnerable to the Seattle life. In short no way Sketchy was touching her kid.

"Well what do you know Max, you might just prove me wrong, I expected this kid to be passed around like a show and tell object," Normal said overhearing them as he'd given up his post of yelling to actually come to almost flip Stone, who kept tilting the chair back as he sat at another table, giving him a quick jolt before he'd ordered him up and back to work.

"Yea well after seeing what being dropped on their head as a baby does to a person figured I'd play it safe and keep the kid tucked in," she smiled with a cocked head looking directly at him.

"You were being nice," Cindy said low under her breath as Normal found something else to harp about.

"Yea well telling him after seeing how well no human contact turned out with him, figured I'd give it a go, seemed a little harsh." She suddenly frowned and looked a little disgusted with herself, "Especially considering I spent at least half a week missing him." She shuddered, "Ugh," she rubbed her arms, "I feel like I need to go take a shower now."

ooOoo

"I can't believe you actually went and got one of these," Sketchy said stepping over the bench to sit and stare at the sleeping infant.

"You don't go and get a baby you moron," Cindy said smacking him upside the head.

Max let out a chortle, "Despite what Kendra thinks," she nodded.

"The peroxide's finally gone to that girl's brain," she said with a wry shake, "this one," she looked down in pity, "one too many things have gone wrong up there to pinpoint it," she tapped on his head.

He ignored her as he looked back over at Max, "So honestly, how hard are they?"

"Well," she nodded, "they basically sleep through the first two weeks."

He looked almost gleeful at those words.

"So you know, you only need to change them every two hours and you feed them…Oh," she paused in her story and looked at him, "Natalie's gonna be breastfeeding. Right?"

"Uh I think so," he looked a little confused, he was just trying to get her to stop puking while he was in the apartment.

"I think the book says they get fed every two hours then instead of four, huh that probably means you're gonna have to change more diapers since everything goes through them faster, but I mean aside from that. Changing them isn't really that big of a deal, well expect for the fact that they hate being naked, so you've got to be careful or they'll scream throughout and if you're lucky enough to have a boy, they actually seem to have really great aim at this stage," she turned to OC, "you have a brother, when does that change?"

"He's older," she replied fighting back a smile as Max tortured their friend.

"Oh," she pouted. "Yea so like I was saying, feed them, change them, of course then you've also got to bathe them, which you know is _real _fun considering they hate being naked and you can't just put them in a tub of water like you'd think you could because you know the umbilical cord…Ugh," she shuddered and turned back to Original Cindy, "well the good news is after that goes through every color in the spectrum it falls off." Her head bobbed a bit, "You can avoid part of the smell and the goopiness of it though if you use rubbing alcohol." Her eyes narrowed a bit as she leaned closer to him, "Trust me, anything to help with the smell…" Her eyes widened, "You do not even want to know what comes out of their ass in the first few days," she turned to Cindy, "if that came out of my bike, I'd just put her to bed."

Sketchy's hand had long since fallen away from the bar in front it had been dangling from on the stroller. "I…uh…package," he nodded and moved away like a zombie.

"That was wrong," Original Cindy said giving Max a look.

"I know," she nodded and scrunched up her face and cocked her head to the side, "but it was fun. Not my fault he's such an easy target."

"So," Cindy nodded a few moments later, "that stuff you were saying about his butt…"

Max looked over for a brief moment before popping to her feet to scoop Will into her arms, "They put this on there for a reason," she said pointing at the hazardous waste sign covering his butt.


	12. Part Twelve

AN: As always thanks for reading and reviewing folks!

* * *

** Part Twelve **

She was aware of the exact moment it hit.

Monday, just after four.

She and Will had been on their own out in the real world for a full week. They hadn't really found much to do. They jogged every day. When jogging got boring they strolled, window shopped, people watched, checked out the changing season into full summer.

They watched all the kids in the playground. Moms chasing after and coddling. Kissing away all the owwies, holding little waists as arms vainly struggled to make it across the monkey bars on their own, smiling at the end of the slides.

She felt guilt eat away at her each day.

Every time she saw them, she knew…

She'd never be one of 'those' moms. The kind she'd always wanted as soon as she had any idea they existed, possibly even before. The kind all kids deserved.

But they soldiered on.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. They got up and they went in search of things to do. Hit up the market three out of the four days. Picked up some fresh fish from one of the two guys Logan trusted with fish in the city on Wednesday, scored a live chicken on Friday whose feathers, feet and head had all been disposed of in the garbage shoot hours before Logan got home after the wide-eyed look and picky eating habits of the last time.

_'Did I ever mention I hate picking out the lobster in the tank?' he finally said mid-meal as he kept staring at the bird. Whose neck she'd snapped as he'd been trying to think up an excuse to save it. _

Short rides had followed a few of those evenings. It hadn't been the same though, she'd wanted to blow past cops, take hairpin turns, pull death defying tricks... Then she remembered even if they didn't catch up to her it would most likely be broadcasted, others would be warned to look out for her bike and she couldn't risk the exposure.

So he sent her out Friday to blow off some steam that she refused to admit she had. She wondered if he really thought that would help.

Being sent off to a half a dozen people asking dozens of questions and all wondering why she was out instead of home with the 'adorably precious baby.'

She hadn't been prepared though, as much as she thought she was, she hadn't been prepared for the change in their lives.

ooOoo

…

Monday afternoon: 

"The entire point of strollers is to carry all the crap I can't because she's in my arms isn't it?" was Marianne's greeting as Max opened the door to see Logan's cousin-law dressed in workout attire and carrying her daughter in much less fussy attire than last time, but no less pink with the pink pants and white tee-shirt with a matching pink star, similar to the yellow one they'd given Will.

_Shit, was she supposed to have changed Will into one of their outfits? _

"I got it," Max said hastily moving the stroller out of Marianne's way.

"Thanks," she smiled, "I swear her diapers have got to be lead-lined that's the only way to explain how someone that looks as tiny as her can weigh so much."

Max gave the obligatory smile. "Been shopping?" she asked seeing two bags where Noelle should have been in the stroller.

"I have an ulterior motive for stopping by," Marianne readily admitted.

"Why am I thinking it has something to do with the gym?" Max smiled and hoped to god the woman wasn't trying to drop her kid off with her. _She barely did one, two… _

"Close," Marianne smiled, "yoga studio. 'Serenity' ever hear of it? It's just a few blocks up."

"Passed it a few times," Max nodded, wondering if this was going where she thought it was going.

"Called and they have a Mommy and Baby Yoga at 2."

_It was already one. _"So the stuff in the bag?"

"Figured if I bombarded you with no time to make plans or a lie…and came with clothing so you couldn't say you didn't have anything to wear…"

"Active wear," Max smiled, especially at using the peculiar term for her everyday clothing, "is actually the one thing I do own."

"So what do you say?" she asked bending over and grabbing a bag, offering it up as a bribe.

"Eh," Max shrugged. She'd cleaned the bathroom, the crisper in the fridge, been for a jog, slowed down Cindy's route for a couple of hours tagging along on and off. "Only thing I had left for today for dinner."

"So come on," she said offering the bag once more with a smile.

"Why the hell not?" Max grabbed the bag.

ooOoo

"Uh Marianne," Max called out walking out from the bedroom now dressed in a pair of skin tight cropped brown pants with a stripe of white running down the side, an equally tight white crossover tank with matching brown piping, Marianne had even included a pair of matching flip flops. "You sure this is to wear for yoga and not Logan?" she asked looking down at the cleavage starting to peak out.

Marianne's head tilted, "You have bigger boobs than I thought you did don't you?"

"Apparently," she shot a look over her shoulder, "I have a bigger ass as well."

Marianne laughed, "No those are supposed to look like that, the top's actually fine, just a little more revealing than I expected."

Max's head once more went down, before eyes rolled back up, _a little? _

"You already said yes, you can change if you want to, but you're not getting out of going."

"I'm fine," getting into skin tight clothing wasn't as easy as it looked; she was in no rush to try to get out of it.

"Good, you'll send Logan's rep up a few points. Valerie had a few 'friends' in the class we're going to."

"Want me to say no?" Max pointed out. "Do you want to put her down?" Max asked seeing Marianne shift her daughter yet again.

"That would be amazing," Marianne smiled with relief. "Can you grab her bag? Maybe something in there will occupy her."

"No prob."

ooOoo

"Have I mentioned how much I love you for going?"

"Are you that desperate for adult company?" Max laughed.

"There are a whopping total of two woman that I can stand in that group Margo calls her 'friends'" Marianne sighed. "I get to see my friends on the weekend or after work. You're the first person I truly like with a kid and not working."

"I feel honored, I think."

"They're all like Margo," Marianne's head shook, "outfit always has to be perfect, baby always has to be perfect. I've heard of two women who were induced early because they were sick of being fat, another one went on a sex binge with her Pilates instructor to go into labor. These are not normal women."

"Yet you hang out with them on a regular basis?"

"I'm desperate Max, I love my daughter, but she and I can't be alone from 8-6 everyday. Our conversations are a little one sided."

"I feel your pain on that one," she nodded. "It's not natural to be this inactive."

"You know," Marianne said with a tilted head over at Max, "you could always spend more time with your poor pathetic almost kinda cousin-in-law."

Max laughed.

"That reminds me," she nodded, "Margo's head almost spun like the little girl in 'The Exorcism' when John broke out photos of Will at Sunday brunch."

"You guys have Sunday brunch?"

Marianne laughed, " Logan has a standing invite, apparently he just hasn't taken them up on it in years…He never mentioned it?"

Max shook her head and pouted, _might be snotty ass people, but they had killer food. _""I suppose the environment would take away from the food," she pondered.

"Like eating sawdust," Marianne nodded.

"Hmm," Max once more pouted.

"Oh and you have to come to Margo's birthday next month, apparently you haven't RSVP-ed yet."

" Logan's been having some problems coming up with an excuse, especially considering I refused to shoot him." _The odd thing was, he'd actually offered that suggestion, since the first shooting had limited his invites dramatically. _

Marianne's head shook and her eyes rolled before she let out a small chuckle. "You have to come, they redid the nursery."

Max's eyes focused narrowly on her faux cousin-in-law.

"Hey don't look at me I didn't do it. John wanted Margo to bring down one of the other cribs, apparently none matched. The only other solution their interior decorator suggested since there wasn't a match in the city was a carpenter and by the time that was done Noelle wouldn't even need the crib."

"Or we could just not come or get a babysitter," Max pointed out the two more favorable options.

Marianne laughed at her, "Didn't anyone tell you? Our kids are now on display…Not to mention your brother and his girlfriend were invited, full family hoopla."

"No they-"

Marianne nodded, "Invitation went out this weekend…Jonathon saw the list and realized they weren't on it. You three have caused numerous fights this week."

"Us…Oh Will," Max nodded with awareness.

"Forget he existed?" Marianne teased.

_I try. _Max's mouth opened before her eyes started to roll as Will let out a cry from the bedroom. "Diaper," she said with a shake and started to stand.

"Okay way put me in my place Max," Marianne said with a smile, "you have no idea how long it took me to figure out each cry. Hell we still just bounce for hours some days."

ooOoo

Max let out a small smile seeing Will's scrunched up red face as all limbs flared in anger at being subjected to a wet diaper. _Maybe that guy with the 'baby in a box' had been on to something. _

"I know, I know," Max consoled as she picked him up. "You know if you just ate less we wouldn't have this problem," Max pointed out as she put him on the changing table.

"Wow am I happy you're a girl," Marianne said to Noelle in a few seconds later as Max blocked a spray of pee with the diaper.

Max laughed, "It's heat activated at this stage. Any cold air and woosh…Make sure your mouth is closed."

"Good to know for the next one," Marianne nodded. "I got him an outfit for yoga," she said walking over.

"He needs an outfit too?" Max looked over with disbelieving eyes.

"Well he needs to be comfortable," Marianne defended.

"The kid rocks onesies and jammies all day, aside from the wet diapers, comfort's the one thing he's got down."

"Yea well it was cute and she," Marianne's head gestured down to Noelle, "isn't allowed anymore clothing until she's in the next size…Even that might be pushing it." Marianne let out a sheepish smile.

Max scooped the freshly changed Will into her arms and went to grab the blue outfit Marianne had in her arms. It wasn't bright or shiny, a weather-beaten blue instead. "It's soft," was Max's first response. _Huh…What do you know, kinda cute, _Max realized upon seeing the laughing Buddha on the onesie. "Why does Buddha have boobs?" Max asked staring at it.

"I don't know," Marianne's head shook, "I always wondered about that too. So what do you say, do I get _props_ for getting a non-matching outfit?"

"Yea," Max smiled as she walked back over to the changing table, "but they get taken away for your use of the word props."

ooOoo

On the Street: 

"You ever meet Valerie?" Marianne asked just a few steps into their walk before they even finished passing the building.

"Once," _technically the second time she was just spying on her. _

"Margo seemed to like her, aside from one incident at a Fourth of July Party, I can't get anyone to talk about."

"She tried to 'help' one of the professionals with the fireworks…Poor guy lost two fingers," _and Logan lost a lot of dough feeling bad. _"Margo's just screwing with you."

Marianne turned.

"She hates everything to do with Logan; pretty sure Valerie wasn't any different."

"So what was she like?" Marianne asked in almost a hesitant child's voice.

"A bitch," Max shrugged, "not smart enough to cover up the tan line her ring created. Probably would have been a decent liar if it weren't for that." _If it weren't for that Max who are you kidding? You were positive you lost Logan before you even met her._

"She looked like she would have been really nice," Marianne thought aloud before turning to Max who was suddenly giving her the evil eye. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Uh huh," Max replied dryly before turning back to the sidewalk. "Well she wasn't. Acted like she was a saint, then moved in for the kill."

"Sensitive subject?"

"I don't like it when people screw with Logan." Max stopped the 'road hog' right in its tracks, "Exactly how many of her 'friends' are going to be there today?"

"Well technically," Marianne's head bobbed, "they haven't been her friends since Logan tossed her to the curb."

_That was a lie and they both knew it. Logan might have been relieved when Valerie left, but he hadn't forced her out. Logan Cale never gave up on a cause. _Max's eyes grew more serious.

"Maybe around four? Possibly five? I don't know if Cynthia had any interaction with the group before she married Richard. I'm pretty sure she at least met her."

"So I'm walking into a den of Margo and Valerie friends?"

"They were only Valerie's friends because of Margo and they're only Margo's friends because she's loaded."

"So basically yoga is a high society function," the words dripped off her tongue with disdain.

"It's not that bad…It's not like we have to sit around and talk to them. That's why I brought you along and there are always a few others, at the place I normally go to there are 3 other women, well off, but not enough to run in our circles."

"Gee sounds like fun," Max rolled her eyes as they neared the studio.

ooOoo

Inside Sanctuary: 

There was one obvious difference Max quickly realized as she walked into the spacious studio lined with strollers against the back wall.

Looks and judgments were subtle at larger events. She and Logan had been the subject of discrete gestures and hushed words. Eyes were purposely averted from their gaze.

Here she felt as if she was the main attraction at the zoo. Seven women, one she was guessing was the instructor due to the lack of baby and she remembered 2 from the sea of faces at Margo's wedding.

"Marianne," smiled a fake blond that came towards them touting an infant.

"Kelly," she smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "Have you met Max before?"

"Not formally," she smiled and shifted the baby over to one side, "Kelly Donahue."

"Max Guevara," Max accepted the handshake.

" Logan's girlfriend right?"

_Yes you know that for damn sure considering your eyes flickered to my hand the moment you saw my face and the stroller. _"That would be me," she smiled back.

"And this little one is?" she peeked her head over the stroller.

_Suck it up and say it Max, _her mind quickly ordered. "Our son, Will."

"Wow," she smiled even brighter and nodded, "I can't believe I didn't hear about this in the grapevine."

"Guess the ol' grapevine isn't what it used to be," Max continued to smile.

"We should probably get set up," Marianne said quickly ending the situation before she watched the other woman's head being ripped off and tossed out a window, which was her daydream of choice regarding these women and didn't doubt Max could actually do it.

ooOoo

"And I see we have a new face in the class," the blonde instructor brightly smiled directly focused on Max.

Max had visions of Walter as she smiled back and had a sudden pang of missing Normal.

"Your names and how old is that little one," she nodded at the baby Max had cradled in her arms.

"Max and Will, four weeks."

She smiled again, "I'll let you know when you need to modify the moves, have you ever done yoga before?"

"A couple of times," Max responded casually.

"Formally or informally?"

_Hmm probably shouldn't mention a secret government facility, _"An old roommate would go on a health binge a few days each month, I'd practice with her."

"Well we'll take it easy on you, let me know if you need any extra help."

"Will do," Max once more smiled.

ooOoo

Max could feel the glares on her from every angle. The instructor was continuously praising her, which she swore at one point elicited a groan from the back of the room, since she doubted it was the move.

Felt their eyes not only on the limbs executing the moves, but every inch of her skin looking for a flaw.

Then with Will against her chest as her body was contorted into a V for the full boat pose, she realized they'd found one.

"Everyone less than 6 weeks post-partum no twisting," the instructor said as she began to twist.

Max was grateful everyone's child was secured against them in their seated positions otherwise she was sure she would have been responsible for a few head injures as she twisted with Will in her arms.

Their eyes turned to bug eyes as they watched her and Will, comparing the two faces, she wondered what they were finding. Any remaining doubts were removed from their minds and Will's stomach made itself known and she joined the mother in the back nursing as she fed Will his bottle.

The judgments were compounded one of top of the other.

The end of class drew near and she watched as they quickly packed, eager to leave so the discussion could begin.

"I bet," she heard in a low voice while the instructor was chatting her and Marianne up, eager for two more steady clients since Marianne had only attended a class or two before. That low voice was quickly followed by a short whimper as the person next to her pinched her arm as Max watched them in a mirror.

She would feed their gossip mill for weeks and they didn't even know the half of it.

ooOoo

"Well that was fun," Max said on their walk back.

Marianne laughed, "Did I ever tell you they thought you were an escort at my wedding?"

"Nice to know," Max nodded.

"A few of the guys had high hopes you were a stripper they'd yet to discover."

Max paused in her tracks and stared for that one, "So basically you're telling me something about me screams whore," she looked down at her outfit, the sweatshirt she'd tossed on over it remaining zipped despite the fact she didn't need its warmth. "Is that your explanation for this outfit?"

Marianne turned red, easily embarrassed and put on the spot, worried she'd ruined her husband's relationship with his cousin, by trying to make his girlfriend her friend, "No no, I didn't mean that."

Max laughed at how flustered the other woman was.

Marianne pouted realizing she'd been played, "What I meant is you're different, they don't know how, they just know that you're different. And the outfit," Marianne's head tossed to the side with a smile, "That was to one up them. Show them how hot you are without the plastic surgery and personal trainer."

"Good answer on that last one Mar," Max smiled.

"We're one of the most talked about families in Seattle," _thanks to Jonas, _"might as well let them have something good to talk about for a change."

ooOoo

And that had been the afternoon that had led up to the change. She'd walked Marianne to her car, accepted the hug and kiss on the cheek and stood to the side waving goodbye as she drove off. Smiled as she walked by Logan's car and pulled down her zipper once she got into the elevator and smiled even brighter at the inviting sight she presented.

She opened the door and smiled at Logan's quickly moving form out of the computer room as she stripped off the sweatshirt and tossed it onto the table.

"Yoga?" he asked with the scrap of paper she'd left him dangling between his fingers.

"Actually I lied, really took the kid with me to Crash to pick up some guys."

His smile skipped her face and his gaze focused directly on her chest, "I know that's a lie because they wouldn't have let you leave looking like that, not even your superpowers could have stopped them."

He walked in the rest of the way, his gaze moving down to the stroller, pausing he looked confused.

_Shit, she had put the kid back in, right? _

Her gaze turned downwards as Logan started to smile, he briefly looked back up, "He's smiling."

_Shit, the kid had started doing that last night, was she supposed to have mentioned it? _

"Hey there big guy," Logan said going to pick Will up. The 'big guy' coming into play that past weekend as Logan and Krit had gotten it in their heads that Will was going to develop a complex from being called 'little guy' all the time.

The baby stirred a bit, "What were you dreaming about?" Logan asked with a finger seeking out the baby's cheek to grab his full attention.

Max simply stared in shock as she watched them walk out of the room as she was left behind, completely forgotten.

Her head tilted as they disappeared out of sight before her head tilted down to what she thought had been an impossible to refuse invitation.

_Will had been sleeping right? Sound asleep, no needs to be met? _

She simply continued to stare blankly in bewilderment for a few more moments before resigning herself to her new status in the apartment and pulled out the diaper bag to go empty the half finished bottle.

There were just somethings you never truly expect, until they happen.


	13. Part Thirteen

** Part Thirteen **

**Sunday, the previous evening (Pre-chapter 12):**

He watched as she paced with a gentle bounce in her step, attempting to get Will to settle down once more. Just as he'd seen her for the past few weeks, presenting the image of the perfect mother, but only presenting, it was something she couldn't hide from him no matter how hard she tried. Sometimes he'd almost forget and allow himself to be lulled into the bliss she created, but other times…A question would pop into his head and take hold so deeply there was nothing he could do to banish it.

_Would it have been different… _

That single question had somehow sunk into his mind in the past month.

_If Will were theirs in the biological sense, would that have made a difference? _

Was it Zack? Was it Manticore's technology? Or was it fear?

Would it have made any difference if any of their near slip-ups or their actual ones had created a child? Could she have not fallen in love with someone that grew under her heart? Or had they damaged her so deeply that she just couldn't anymore?

She would lay down her life for Will just as they all would, he didn't doubt that. She would lay down her life not only because she was supposed to, but because he was an innocent child. Just not _her _innocent child, he could see it in her eyes.

He wondered though with a child born naturally from them, if she could have truly held back the connection that Will seemed to share with all that came in contact with him, but her.

He didn't know why the question plagued him, but it had continued to grow in strength since finding her staring out the window in the middle of the night almost two weeks ago. How she'd felt in his arms as she said, 'I wanted kids,' past tense.

How she felt in his arms after every nightmare, the look in her eyes as something would start to soften within her about Will.

The fear and anguish, she normally did a decent job of hiding, but would emerge just before she could throw the walls back up.

Part of him was petrified because he knew it wasn't because Will shared Zack's blood, it wasn't how that little boy was created. He knew her, he knew she understood Will was innocent, just like they had been. He was petrified because that wall remained up because of what they had done to her. He wasn't sure it would ever come down and it frightened him to death. Not just for Will or the more selfish reason of himself, but for her.

Every time it would start to fall, she would start to break.

He just didn't know anymore. He didn't know anything anymore…

ooOoo

…

**Monday afternoon (Post-chapter 12): **

"Figures," he said walking into the kitchen, "I get the camera and he won't do it again."

"Maybe you shouldn't have woken him," she pointed out as she rinsed out Will's bottle.

"Valid argument," he smiled completely unaware of her shift in attitude.

"What kinda grub you in the mood for?" she asked leaving the bottle deciding she needed more busy work than it was offering.

"I had some free time so I picked up some scallops, I was thinking a nice truffle risotto with them."

"Hmm," she smiled briefly, "sounds yummy," she moved towards the fridge.

"What are you doing?"

"Figured I'd get it started, I may not have your skills in the kitchen, but I'm not all clueless Logan."

"Going to start a dinner that takes 30 minutes tops at 4? I told you I've had that white hair since I was twenty," he said making an early bird joke.

She smiled briefly, but once more it didn't reach her eyes, "Says you, I never saw it before," she teased.

"Trust me on this one Max," he said walking over to drop a kiss down, "not to mention, I think I owe you a meal lately. Why don't you just relax for the rest of the evening?"

"I don't mind helping," she offered.

"I got it," he once more smiled and nodded before finally putting the camera down to shift Will in his arms as he walked over to the awaiting swing. He turned, "Why don't you go relax for awhile?"

_Was he freakin' serious?_ "I'm relaxed."

"I've got everything under control," he gave her a slightly confused smile as she kept staring at him.

"I ever say you didn't?" she continued to simply look at him.

_Crap, what exactly had he done? _"I'm sure you could use some downtime after spending the past few hours with Marianne's 'friends.'"

She looked at him a little confused.

"I just got off the phone with Bennett," he offered knowing full well the extent of which those he avoided on a regular basis had just been present in Max's afternoon. _Maybe he should offer her a stiff drink?_

"Hmm yea no, despite being compared to your ex, everyone nearly falling over to check out my ring finger-" her finger rose up as his mouth opened to speak, "and finding out that everyone thought I was a call girl, I'm relaxed."

_Relaxed? Who exactly was she kidding? _He let out a brief smile, "Found out about the call girl thing did you," his hand rubbed over the back of his neck before it tilted to look at her with eyes she normally found endearing, "I'd take it as a compliment really considering they thought I had to pay to date you."

Her face scrunched up in a fake smile, "Gee don't I feel special."

"Aren't you the one always telling me to not care about what they think?"

"I don't," _yea right, you're just annoyed they see you as the fraud you are. _

"So then what's this about?"

"What's what about?" her eyes innocently asked as her head bobbed.

His head tilted ever so slightly to the side as he simply looked at her for a moment, disbelieving she was actually playing that game. "Maybe the fact that we sound like my parents for half of their marriage at the moment."

"Yea well considering I never met the folks, gonna have to take your word on that," her head cocked.

"Polite voices never saying what they meant," he clarified with slow words.

"Funny I meant what I said, I'm good, if I have anymore downtime my ass is going to fuse itself to the sofa," her voice raised a notch.

"See now was that so hard to say?" he asked as his lips rose up in a sarcastic smile, not meaning to, but the situation getting the better of him. At least they were normal emotions and attitudes instead of Miss Happy Go Lucky June Cleaver.

"Bite me," she nodded and turned.

_Shit, _he realized as she stormed away. "Max," he went chasing after her to the entryway.

She turned keys already in hand."

"Flip flops probably aren't the best idea for your bike," he offered with a smile.

She mockingly smiled back as she dangled the keys to his Aztek, "Wasn't going to take my ride."

"You've got to talk to me Max," his voice softened. "We can't keep going on like this with you keeping everything inside."

She blinked, _what was he saying? _

"One minute you're in a great mood and the next," his head shook, "I can't get inside your head Max, I'm not going to know what's going on until you tell me."

"Not much to tell," she shrugged, "I'm a simple girl."

"Trust me," he gently smiled, "there is nothing simple about you." His head shook, "You've got to tell me what's going on."

"Nothing-"

His focused eyes stopped her from saying anything else, "I offer you the chance to escape from the apartment for a few hours _and _Will," he added the name, to drive home his point that he wasn't as clueless as she apparently thought he was, "and you nearly snap my head off."

She nearly scoffed at his words as her head shook, "And where would you like me to go Logan?" she questioned. "Don't you get it," her hand waved gesturing at her surroundings, "this is it for me."

"Max if you want to-"

"What go back to work?" Her head violently shook, "And what good is that going to do Logan? Same old bs day in and out."

"So what do you want me to tell you?"

Her head shook, "Notice how you're not suggesting more time bringing down the bad guys, my former number one occupation."

"Well considering you're up to your eyeballs in family and you don't want me to look for your mother anymore our Quid Pro Quo agreement seems to be over."

This time she did scoff.

"And the funny thing was I thought you were happy with our arrangement," it wasn't as if he withheld any of the 'missions' Krit and occasionally Syl would make for him, he even occasionally asked as did Krit, but it was rare and far between when she accepted.

Her face fell the slightest fraction, _she was, she had been…_She hadn't wanted to risk anything once she got back to Logan.

"You've got to tell me when these things change," even his stance softened as he realized she wasn't taking off.

"It hasn't," she admitted.

"Then what is it?"

Her head shook. She just didn't know. It felt like she was living under a microscope now, someone always on her tail waiting for her to screw it all up, take it all away.

Not long ago she'd lived as she pleased, two steps away from a slip-up and Manticore finding her. 'Courting danger,' had been OC's term for it a long time ago.

_'Riding that bike of yours like a bat out of hell…Yea surefire way to stay under the radar Boo.' _

That 'bat out of hell' had seemingly overnight been turned into a domesticated house cat stuck staring out the windows.

_That was what you wanted wasn't it Max? _her inner voice asked her. _This is what you dreamed of. You'd lay on that damn cot dreaming of exactly this. _

_Didn't know it was going to feel like this, _she answered back.

"Max," he took a step closer, "baby, you gotta help me."

_This really was bad if he was breaking out the cutesy little terms of affection. _Her head shook, she just didn't know how.

"You know Matt owes me a favor, I'm sure I can get a sector pass out of the city and Syl's off tomorrow, I'm pretty sure she'd baby-sit if you wanted to go for a long ride."

_He just didn't get it did he? _Her bike offered her no freedom anymore.

He almost sighed from the exhaustion of trying to figure her out. _Try again Logan, _he realized."I can see who's free this weekend if you want me to go with you, but I don't know how well Will would cope being passed around like a hot potato-"

"He can come with us," she quickly offered.

He gave in to the sigh. _She didn't want to be in the apartment, but she didn't want to escape it without him? _"I'll call Matt, see what he can do," he nodded and completed the steps to her, his fingers trailed her jaw as she looked up at him. "We've got to figure this out Max."

"I know."

"Admitting what you're feeling, being yourself doesn't weaken you, at least not in my eyes. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

"I know," she repeated.

He continued looking at her for another moment as his fingers held her gaze to him as he attempted to see deep within her at the same time prove to her that his words were sincere.

Will woke up from his brief return to slumber with a loud cry.

Logan nodded, "I've got him," he said as he held her gaze for another second longer.

Halfway down the hallway over the loud cry he never heard her whisper, "I know."

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**Thanks for reading! **  



	14. Part Fourteen

**Notes about this chapter: **I need a thesaurus for the word smile.

**

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** Part 14 **

Monday Evening: 

"I really appreciate the call Bling, but I'm going to have to talk to Max about it first," Logan said into the phone oblivious to her poised by the entry way to the computer room. A low laugh followed a moment later. "Yea I know," he nodded. "Listen I'll talk to you later, Max is stalking me and it's starting to creep me out," he smiled as he turned to her after catching her reflection in a monitor. "Yea I'll get back to you," he nodded.

"I creep you out do I?" she asked dryly as she crossed her arms.

"In a good way," he teasingly smiled as he stood.

"So what do you need to ask me?"

"A patient of Bling's is selling a Volvo wagon, an XC70, five years old, already outfitted."

"Why's he selling?"

"Why are you assuming it's a he?"

"Fine,' her eyes rolled, "why's she selling?"

"He's selling," he admitted with a wry smile, "because they just finished refitting an Audi for him."

"Ah," she nodded, "one of your peeps."

He nodded, "And he did the same thing as me, took the first car that became available."

"Uh Logan," she looked at him with serious eyes, "you miss the fact that it was actually your uncle that got you the Aztek and you probably stole it from some poor sucker who had been waiting months?"

"Point is," he smiled, "it wasn't love at first sight, more of an arranged marriage."

She laughed, "So why'd you have to talk to me about it?"

"It's going to be your car?"

"And it's ready now?"

"A matter of days," he supplied.

"And once more where exactly is the question?" There were a seriously limited number of cars available in Seattle and a backlog three months long for the lone garage that actually did these kinds of alterations. The last lead he'd gotten on a car becoming available was in Tucson.

"If you want to drive a Volvo wagon," he pointed out.

The question still puzzled her, the wagon part she was well aware simple for the ease for Logan to get stuff in and out of the trunk if he was in the chair. Not to mention without even knowing the specifics of it she was well aware it had a hell of a lot more power behind it than Logan's cracked out minivan. _Hmm definitely shouldn't say that last one aloud, _she realized. So instead, "What color is it?"

_What color is it? _Had Max, his Max truly asked such a girly question. Nothing about the engine, the horsepower, the transmission, hell not even the gas mileage. "Black," he answered.

"Once more what's the problem?" her head cocked.

_She has no clue about suburban soccer moms and Volvos, _he realized. His mouth opened as he debated telling her, then turned into a smile as imagined the scene that would follow once people saw 'Max' driving a Volvo, "Nothing at all."

ooOoo

…

Friday afternoon, Logan Volvo-driving: 

He groaned, only on the road for an hour and Will was already crying and they'd only made it through their final checkpoint out of the city ten minutes ago. "I'll pull over," he said resigned to the fact that they were never going to have a smooth trip anywhere ever again.

"Why?" she asked as her belt unclipped and a long leg was stretching over the middle consol before he even realized what was going on.

"Max-"

" Logan," she replied back as she made the easy transition into the back seat.

"There are laws about seatbelts and car seats for a reason," he said realizing she was going to unhook Will. One of the problems with being raised to have a seriously limited amount of fear was the seriously limited amount of fear.

"I trust you to not get us into an accident," she smiled as she lifted Will out, "diaper's good, I know you're not hungry," she said as she examined the baby.

"I'm glad that you trust me, but unfortunately I'm not psychic and I don't know what about the others on the road."

Her eyes scanned all the windows, "Where exactly are these _others_ Logan?"

"We just passed a car," he pointed out.

"Opposite side of the highway, they put up barriers for a reason," she said over the sound of Will's cries as she tried bouncing him.

"Potholes?"

"I promise to hold on to the kid."

_Why had he so eagerly accepted her offer to drive the new car? _"I'm guessing they didn't teach you the story in Manticore about the mother holding her baby during an accident and while she held on to him and he didn't have a scratch on him, he was actually paralyzed from the neck down."

"Two problems with that, I've heard that story, she was in the front seat and I think they went out the window, I'm in the back and gotta remember I think that's more like a broken bone to us. So how about you focus on the road and leave everything else to me?"

He sighed; he wasn't winning this at the moment. He was going to have to come up with a better argument, but as she pointed out the road was pretty much dead around these parts, people no longer ventured to and fro since they were no longer allowed in, not to mention it had taken them 10 minutes to get through that final checkpoint after waiting online for thirty minutes and the car in front of them had been denied after 20 minutes at the gate.

"He fussier than usual?" she asked a minute later as Will continued to sob.

"Want me to pull over?" he hopefully asked.

Her eyes rolled.

"I'll take that as a no," and resisted the urge to say, 'Ah ha,' seeing a car coming down the onramp.

ooOoo

…

15 Minutes Later: 

"Thought car-rides were supposed to calm kids down," she asked as she finally climbed back into the front seat.

"That is the rumor," he chuckled.

"Kid's definitely getting fussier," she said as she quickly turned and checked on him after putting on her seatbelt.

His brow puckered as he thought about it, "Maybe it's just that he's awake more."

"Maybe," she said not quite believing him.

"He's seeing the pediatrician on Monday, we can ask her."

"You got the appointment?" Sam had called earlier in the week to tell them he was pretty sure he found a trustworthy doc, but would do more double-checking.

"Dr. Clarke, 8:30, I forget to tell you?" he asked with a quick sideways glance.

"Ya think?"

ooOoo

…

The Cale Family Cabin that evening: 

"What are you liquoring me up for?" Max asked as she lay in Logan's arms on the couch realizing how much wine she'd consume.

He thought about denying it, but then realized they'd had too much of that in their relationship, especially in the last month. "Why do you think?"

"Hmm," she frowned and slid a hand over his that was resting on her thigh, "guessing it's not for the reason I'd like it to be."

A kiss to her head, "Sorry."

She sighed, "We have to talk," she answered her own question.

"Fraid so."

"What are we talking about now?"

"Some clue as to what's going on in your head would be nice," his voice was light.

She quickly turned so she was facing him, kneeling between his legs smiling at him.

"Not that," he smiled as his fingers brushed alongside her cheek.

She frowned and moved back on the couch so she was leaning against the opposite side. "I still don't know what you want me to say."

"And I still don't know what to do, so we're in the same boat."

They continued to look at each other, lit only by the fire.

"Tell me the truth about something."

"What?" she asked when he didn't say anything more.

"One true thing," he elaborated. He'd been living with 'Super Mom' for weeks, at times forgetting it wasn't real, it was starting to make him wonder what was real.

"I love you," she said simply, it was the truest thing about her, the one thing she didn't doubt.

"I love you too," he replied back, finding some relief in those words.

Her head shook slightly.

"What?" he smiled, "You don't believe me?"

She let out a sad smile, "I do, I just don't know why."

He bent forward and tugged her hands, pulling her back with him and turned her around in his arms back to their original position. He kissed her head once more, "You give reason to my life, meaning, happiness. Spellbinding love," he tacked on.

She laughed.

"Don't ever doubt that I love you," he said more somberly, "and that you make my life better by being in it."

"You like living with a nutjob?" she asked rather dryly.

He let out a low laugh, "And that I believe is our main topic of this conversation. How do we make this better?"

She snuggled back against him and held one arm tight to her, "You're assuming that we can."

"I believe in us," he continued to keep his words light.

She sighed.

"Tell me another truth."

She didn't speak for a moment; her mouth opened once and stayed that way for a second before she let the words out, "I can't be okay."

His arm around her waist tightened, "Tell me what okay means."

"So is that what shrinks sound like?"

"I don't know," he admitted honestly, "I ignored the one that came to see me in the hospital. Said what she wanted to hear and got her out of there as quickly as possibly."

"Why am I not surprised?" her lips lifted up.

"Yea well," he said tugging her in even closer, "considering I ended up with a gun in my hand 6 months later that may not have been the wisest choice. Now back to you," he ordered.

Another long breath, "I need to be his mother."

He'd told her that, he remembered telling her that. "You need to be you first," he amended.

"I'm not me anymore," she answered before she even realized it.

He didn't say anything. He didn't want to disrupt her train of thoughts.

She realized there was no going back, "If I were me, I'd be his mom."

That sense of validation for all the times he'd told Bling that was shockingly absent as his heart was busy breaking for her.

"Maybe you're focusing too much on that," he softly offered.

Her head shook against him.

"Baby," lips pressed up against her head, "he's fine, you don't need to push yourself into this before you're ready. Being with him 24 hours a day…"

Her head shook yet again.

"Max," the lips kissed once more.

"I should love him."

"Give it time," he tenderly ordered.

"I don't think time is going to make this better Logan," she whispered.

He paused as he tried to think out some game plan for his son not being loved by his mother.

"I don't want t o run from this, I don't want to pass him off to Krit and Syl, I just don't think I can love him," she kept her voice steady as the emotions started to break within her.

His lips pressed against her once more, still vainly struggling for something to say. He didn't think he'd survive it if she tried to run from this, he didn't know what he would have done if she'd said she wanted her brother and sister to take him. It was the one thing he was no longer willing to offer.

"I'm a horrible person."

"No you aren't," he quickly replied.

"Yes I-"

"Max," he said simply, "horrible people don't say they won't run. They don't do what you've been doing for the past month. You're a good mother." And she was, she gave and she gave, everyday despite everything.

"I should love him," she whispered as tears started to fill her eyes.

His embrace tightened once more.

A slight choked noise came from her as she realized, _she didn't want to love him._

Logan remained unaware though as he continued to hold her occasionally murmuring that it would be alright.

She kept her mouth shut.

**

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**Thanks for reading! **


	15. Part Fifteen

Let me throw in a "Hi new readers!" (That would be you, Marikalay and Chimera452Bast) if you guys are still reading and yea this is kind of a downer story. Season 2 was a little too unrealistic for me (you would NEVER knock up someone you expected to be a soldier). And the resulting story unfortunately is not a perky one, dead brother, imprisoned for over two months, someone on Max's tail attempting to throw her back in her little cage.

And it's not that Will likes Logan more than Max, it's that Logan likes Will more than Max does.

Thanks for reading guys!

_**Question: why is the little line thingy not working?**_

-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-x-x-X-

**Part Fifteen **

She'd been told in varying ways in these past few years that life wasn't how she lived it and the events that played out, but how she interpreted it, what she chose to take from it.

There were people happy in the world who had nothing.

And then there were people who had everything and were miserable.

Like Margo.

_And like herself,_ she realized glumly.

Not that she was miserable, no far from it. Because no matter what else, she had Logan and that one fact would always bring her more joy than just about anything.

Sitting here though, in the dark, the camera the only light in the living room she resided in along with the baby that she had taken on an hour trek to calm down and avoid waking the sleeping object of her affections, she realized further how her life looked to others.

_Perfect. _

_Blissfully and utterly perfect. _

Not to be confused with peaceful. No, she doubted anyone with any type of common sense would describe life with a five week old peaceful, no matter the circumstances one was used to. And this was coming from someone who at six was jarred awake every fifteen minutes for a week as they were taught to avoid caving to that peculiar hellish torture and it hadn't even stopped at a week, it had simply switched to random intervals instead of a set time, to be performed at any point in their future. The last having been only a few weeks before their escape, Shea had cracked on day eight. He'd only returned to them the day before from Psy-Ops.

So she flipped through the photographic evidence of the past few weeks not even paying attention to that or any of the other un-pleasantries that came along with having a baby. These pictures they relayed a story that wasn't her own…

Not to say she looked entirely perky in the pictures, but they didn't belay the depths of her issues. Maybe just a sleep weary new mom who was irritated by one too many pictures…

In other pictures though…In other pictures, she looked happy, Logan looked happy, they looked normal.

The night air that had finally settled Will down had left her decidedly more pensive she decided as she heard her words replay in her head…

_"If I were me, I'd be his mom." _

If she'd been offered a life with Logan and a child of her own to love a year ago she would have jumped at the opportunity. A few months in Manticore for the life displayed in these pictures? _No problem. _The threat of Manticore looming over her at every turn in return for the one thing she'd been searching for, a family of her own? _Bring it on, after all hadn't the last eleven years of her life been spent that way? _

That's why she had to try so hard. She had to be everything, as overdone as it was, despite Logan's words that she was pushing herself.

They deserved that life.

Will and Logan.

No matter what the circumstances, even if he were just a baby brought in off the street, she knew it was what Will deserved and Logan…

It was everything she always wanted to give Logan.

_You wanted to be a better person, the best person you could possibly be for the one you loved. _

She'd started to strive towards that the moment she met him, long before she could understand those feelings as 'love.'

She just didn't know how to do this. She didn't know if she could. Worse even she couldn't get her heart to agree with her brain that she should.

She continued to flip through the pictures, having already scrolled through them all at least twice.

_God she could imagine being that girl again, _she thought seeing a pic of her resting her head on Logan's thigh, the baby in his arms as they watched tv taken by one of their shutterbug friends. _That girl, who would have leapt at the mere thought of this, of course she would have feigned indifference and run away, but still her heart would have been bursting with excitement. _

At least the running away still sounded good to her.

She would have groaned if she weren't so afraid of waking up the perpetually cranky one.

So instead she simply continued to flip through pictures hoping against all hope that she'd start to believe the fairytale she saw within them.

ooOoo

…

The fairytale continued to play out. At least for the world viewing them. One more bottle and diaper wake up that had resulted in a once more longer than usual period to settle him down and she started to wonder if Logan was right and this was just par for course with his age. _She would have thought they got easier, _at least in this department.

Breakfast with Logan and Will suddenly switched over to being a saint or as saintly as he could after disrupting them with an urgent need for a diaper change.

Diaper bag repacked with fresh supplies, they set out into the town and Max felt just as she had earlier in the week, _like a fraud._

They didn't seem to see it though.

People smiled at them. Made faces at the baby, despite the fact that the kid still had a pretty limited sense of vision and their antics were lost on him. Made casual small talk asking about the baby.

It was almost as if people were made happy by seeing them.

They were an attractive couple she knew that. They made a pretty picture to people who had seen too much ugliness.

Her mind took in the scene objectively. The All-American projection that was Logan in a pair of loose jeans to accommodate the exo and the hunter green polo. Her, dwarfed by his size, dark long waves left loose past her shoulders, a simple white baby tee on her, paired with a pair of smokey green gauchos. A study of opposites, OC had once called them. Opposites that fit perfectly and it was displayed by contestant touches despite the stroller that needed pushing. She knew Will completed that picture. The circle that was created through a child.

They didn't know the truth.

Will wasn't Logan's and no matter what spin Logan put on it that would never change. There would never be a child that was a perfect blend of them both.

But they didn't know that.

No instead they got the fairytale Max didn't. Got a little hope in their dreary world. Fairytales, the American dream, whatever you wanted to call it.

It still existed.

_You have him Max, _she was reminded though during one of her self-pitying moments as Logan stopped during some polite chatter with someone asking after the well-being of his family and gave her a smile that reminded her even fairytales had to have some downfalls.

ooOoo

…

**Later that night, the cabin: **

"I'm beginning to think you were right," Logan said upon what seemed like his millionth bouncing step with the squalling baby as Max lay curled up on the couch with a magazine.

She smirked.

"This is not natural," he groaned and lifted the baby a little higher in his arms.

"Hate to break it to you Logan," she said not even looking up from the magazine, "nature has nothing to do with two out of the three people in this room."

He groaned yet again as he continued to pace.

ooOoo

…

The cry woke her like a needle straight into her brain. Her eyes flew open and after a second her eyes perfectly adjusted to the pitch black room, the heavy drapes shut to block out any chance of the early morning sun waking them before the early morning baby.

A groan came at the same time she shot up off the warm body she'd been resting against. A groan followed by a roll, paired with the blanket going over his head.

"Don't worry Logan," she snickered, "I got him." Her head shook as her legs swung over the side, "Freakin males," she muttered to herself as she went to pick up the younger male.

His cries mercifully stopped for a few brief seconds, but quickly returned by the time she'd reached the door with him as he became aware his needs weren't being met as quickly as he desired.

So they bounced, swayed, rocked as she talked, hushed and consoled while the bottle heated.

The bottle held his interest for a few ounces before it was refused. So towel over shoulder as she attempted to burp him and stop his cries.

Then sitting down at the kitchen table with the same towel over her legs as she continued attempting to burp him.

"Finally," she muttered aloud when her efforts were successful and he started to quiet down.

Baby back up against shoulder and rubbing his back as she stood to walk with him.

"Guess we figured out sharks have the dominant DNA, huh Maxie?"

She turned to see Zack leaning against the bedroom doorway with a small smile on his lips. Blue eyes dark and focused on her, tousled blonde waves almost obstructing his vision.

"Zack," his name left her lips in a whisper and he started to move forward. Padding across the cold wooden floor in bare feet, the only clothing touching his body a pair of baggy gray sweats resting precariously low on his hips.

"Or maybe you just inherited your Momma's stubbornness, hey little guy?" he asked as he slipped the baby out of Max's arms as she remained stunned just looking at him.

She felt his warmth brush against her and then she continued to feel it radiating against her as he stood there with his lips pressed in a tender kiss to the baby's head.

"I'm hoping for the shark, otherwise we're in for a hell of a rough time," he said with a joking smile.

"Zack," her head shook as all she could do was once more whisper his name.

He looked down to the tears gleaming in her eyes, worry instantly flashed in his eyes and the baby was transferred to one arm as the other one was flung around Max pulling her in close to his chest. "Hey it's okay, come on the kid's got my eyes that's got to prove there's at least a little of me in him, I'm sure it'll be able to keep your troublemaking tendencies under control."

Her head shook against him as her arms went around his back as sobs started to pour from her rivaling the baby's worst.


	16. Part Sixteen

**The groan was just a normal, 'this kid is never going to stop crying is he?' not a groan about where Will and Max come from. And Mari, it's cute when you're gullible. :-D Hell it at least entertains me. We have a lovely cycle, I write to be entertained by your reviews, you review in order to get me to write, which entertains you. _Did that just make sense?_**

****

**_Thanks for reading guys and I'm sorry it can't just be smooth sailing for Max. She does have a lot of positive things going on though, she sees them I promise (after all she did mention them in the last chap :-P) _**

* * *

**Part 16**

**Saturday Night Continued...**

"Do you think she misses him?"

Syl's question caught him off and he turned straining his neck to see the tv from his unnatural position of being flipped upside down on the arm chair, his keen sense of smell being numbed by the growing need to tear up their carpet, due in part to the cat he was training to jump over his head as he moved the feather over him from side to side.

_Yup, _he realized as he caught sight of two males on the screen and vaguely recalling this was some bad action movie that made him want to track down whoever was the idiot that decided this was actually possible, _no idea what she's talking about. _

His neck turned to strain towards her sitting cross legged on the couch, "Huh?"

"Max," was all Syl said.

"Who is Max missing?" _Something happen no one had told him about? _

Her head shook and she scoffed as she stood, "Is Zack that easy to forget? He took care of us our entire lives."

All levity left his voice, "I don't know about you Syl, but I'm pretty sure I was the one that set my own leg, learned how to lift wallets, walk past a vendor and tuck a leg of lamb under my shirt without him knowing any better."

"He was there for us," she stopped walking away from him and turned back.

"And we were there for him, we're family, that's what family does."

"Do you think she even cares that he died for her?" she was annoyed, she didn't know why she was annoyed, what had brought it on, it had just been building as the months had past.

"Just look at her," he said, suddenly reversing his position so he was seated properly in the chair, "really think that's all Manticore?"

Her head shook, "Zack would have never gone-"

"Zack wouldn't have what?" he shook his head cutting her off. "He came to her Syl, not the other way around."

"He came to her to rescue Tinga."

"Is that what this is about? Do you feel guilty that we talked Zack into going?"

Her mouth opened and her head shook, "This isn't-"

"Because I feel guilty, I felt guilty every long day that followed. I felt guilty seeing Logan knocked out, I felt guilty the moment I saw his eyes open in confusion and the horror, do you remember how his head jerked, how all of him jerked before he just went still? Remember every forced smile from him, every sandwich left next to him untouched, how he just worked and didn't sleep? How he couldn't hear her name?"

Syl remained quiet.

"Does any of that somehow change? We thought Max was dead, tell me you weren't dying inside over it, we didn't know if Zack was alive or dead, just like we didn't know how many times? But did any of that change how we felt about Max? Did you blame Max when you thought she was dead? Does that get to change because she's still alive?"

"He died for her," Syl said blinking back angry tears. She could cry with them, the only people in the world she could cry with.

Krit's mouth started to open, then he shook his head changing his mind as to what he was going to say, the words, _'He would have died for any of us' _while true wasn't the truth for what had happened that night. "He didn't want to live without her, he couldn't have lived with himself."

"And she doesn't even miss him," Syl exclaimed.

"Syl," he shook his head, showing a maturity he rarely displayed, "Will isn't Max and Zack's son. You need to get that. I don't doubt that Max loved him, but she hadn't seen the guy since she was a little kid, spent a handful of days with him as an adult. And you know what, let's be honest here, if he hadn't loved her like he did we would have still been in Manticore. We broke out that night because of Max because Zack wasn't about to let them hurt her."

An angry sigh as she shook her head.

"We're all to blame for that night, we knew better, but you know what Syl we would have regretted it everyday if we didn't. We didn't have a magic eightball, we didn't know about Zack, or Max or Will…" His head shook, "But I'm not going to apologize for wanting more. I'm not going to apologize for not wanting to run anymore, for getting to have the exact same sucky life that everyone else gets to have. We all wanted it Syl, we could blame it on revenge for what they took from us…" his head shook and it dropped down for a moment before looking back up at her with doe eyes, "I don't know about you, but I think I'm past that. I don't want to be angry or scared anymore, it's our past, I want it to stay there."

"It's not that easy Krit," she said with her heart aching for him, for them.

"Yea Syl," he nodded, "I've noticed that. That doesn't change how I feel. It doesn't change what I want." He smirked and shook his head, "I'm envious of a sister who spent months locked up in Manticore. I'm envious of Tinga who got that life for years. I'm jealous of steady jobs, of kids, of pets you don't have to leave behind, I'm jealous of parents," his last words softer than the rest.

They just looked at each other for a moment, both hearts near breaking for admitting so much.

"I think I missed Lydecker Syl. That someone cared about my wellbeing and took care of me."

"Ly-"

He cut her off with a shake of his head, "Yea, I know, whatever his reasons, he's the closest we have, the closest we'll ever have and you know what I missed him. I missed hearing 'good job son,' that flash in his eye when you'd do something right. I missed seeing his face looking into the room hours after we were supposed to have been asleep. I know we weren't supposed to miss him, but I did."

Syl's head shook at the unwelcome thoughts bubbling up from her subconscious. "I ask about Max, you start spouting off about Deck," her words light and bubbly, wanting to end this introspection.

His head shook before it once more looked up at her, "It's all the same Syl, don't you see. It's all always been the same."

He stood and walked out of the room leaving her alone with the unwelcome thoughts.

ooOoo

…

"I miss Max," the morose words slid from Kendra's mouth after several beers had slid in as she and OC sat across a table at Crash oblivious to the party atmosphere around them.

"Join the club Sug," Original Cindy said, following it up with a long sip of beer and a look around the joint.

"Shouldn't **we **have been consulted before she did something as crazy as adopt a kid?"

"Ya'd think wouldn't you?" Cindy said averting her eyes.

Kendra caught the look, "Max talk to you about it?"

"Max talk to anyone about these things?"

"Good point," she nodded.

"Seems like only yesterday we were hustling people over the pool table," she looked longingly at it. No one at the beginning had thought the little seventeen year-old would be that skilled, _man they'd learned quickly. _

"I know," Kendra pouted looking over, "not that I'm not happy for her," she said with her head quickly turning her eyes disavowing of all guilt.

"Me too," OC nodded in agreement.

"I mean if anyone deserves the picture perfect kind of life it's Max."

_And you don't even know the half of it. _

"She is happy right?"

"Girl's got Logan," Cindy replied dryly, "could put her in a cardboard box on the corner and she'd still be happy as long as she had him."

"Ever wonder if they love each other a little too much?" Kendra asked the question that had been lingering in her mind on and off for quite some time.

"There such a thing?"

"She'd be lost without him."

"Trust me, he was lost without her."

"I can't imagine that," Kendra admitted honestly.

"Me neither, but they make each other happy."

Kendra had been in the midst of taking a sip when all of a sudden she busted out, "You complete me," along with a little projectile beer aiming at OC from her lips.

"You had me at hello," Cindy faked back with mockery before they both ended up cracking up.

ooOoo

…

She woke up alone. Her eyes and her body on edge.

She debated curling up and sobbing, but the need to figure out what happened to Logan and Will more pressing.

She smiled seeing them safe, not to mention present in the living room.

Will chilling in his carrier, his head knocked to the side in sleep, a stray bottle next to him on the coffee table where he resided so he was easily within Logan's sight and reach. Logan on the sofa, laptop on his lap absorbed in something.

"Thought you two'd run off on me," she smiled walking into the room.

He looked up with a tender smile, "Going off quietly into the night isn't one thing we have going for us, especially considering I'd have to stop and put on the exo just to walk down the stairs. How are you feeling?"

Her head tilted and she frowned.

"Don't remember waking up?" he asked.

Her head shook.

"You woke up and you were crying, you fell back asleep pretty quickly." A jerk from her had woken him up, he quickly realized his chest was wet from tears, she'd made a few murmurs of recognition as he soothed her and held her close to him before realizing she'd fallen back asleep, but Will had just been starting to stir.

"Oh," she looked startled by that, as if her poorly kept secret of nightmares was suddenly out, "sorry. I woke you?"

"It's okay," he nodded, "Will was ready for his next bottle. By the way," he said quickly moving the subject away from her dream, "Original Cindy was a saint picking up that bottle warmer." _Everything in the kitchen was apparently out of his reach in the chair. _

"And you'd thought she lost her mind," Max smirked.

"So did you," he smirked back.

"Only up until the point I realized how much the kid preferred his baby wipes heated," she smiled and moved to sit down next to him on the couch.

"Can you imagine all the stuff he's going to need at a year if he needs this much at a month?"

"Good thing we have three rooms," she smiled and curled into him looking down at the laptop and a half finished article of Logan's.

"I'm thinking a house might be necessary by the time he reaches school," Logan joked.

Max froze.

"We can't stay there forever Max," he pointed out as he tended to point out every once in awhile as she'd be brought back to the harsh reality of it.

"I know," she grabbed the laptop and moved it next to him on the couch before she curled in tighter than before, "one step at a time okay Logan."

"Oh come on," he teased in a serious tone, holding her tight against him, "are you saying you aren't looking forward to a house in the country, white picket fence, a jungle gym in the back yard, a dog constantly getting lost despite the fence and you spend at least one afternoon a month looking for him as Will's hysterically crying next to you?"

She paused suddenly thinking of that. Her dreams often conveyed images of an older Will, but she tended not to think of him like that during daytime hours aside from the occasional comment from Logan or one of their friends. If it all went well there would be carpools, birthday parties, soccer practice, evening walks with a non-imaginary dog tugging along a little boy who'd probably be squealing with laughter.

He saw the smile tugging up her lips, he smiled in return and let his head drop against hers, being wise enough to not push it further.


	17. Part Seventeen

** AN: **And so continues my, Max and Logan Season Two was a nasty hallucination, trying to cope with an everyday life that only Manticore could create, story 

I really need to get around to wrapping this story up…I do hate ending things though, that damn finality. Blah… :-P

As always hope it doesn't suck too bad!

* * *

**Part 17 **

**Sunday early afternoon:**

Max sat on a swing, she'd found tucked into a closet forgotten. Not reaching its potential for over a decade as it lay neglected. A few tugs of the rope confirmed it was none worse for the wear so earlier in the day with Logan's stomach churning she'd easily scaled the tree branch twenty feet high and secured it around.

Now she sat on it, leaning against a rope as she held on with one hand as the other secured Will to her as they gently swung.

"Me and nature, who'd have thunk it?" she softly pondered to the baby.

"This is kinda nice though," she decided after a moment.

"Well you know, minus your millionth bout of crying last night," she amended dryly, remembering how he'd started up again soon after she'd woken up, as Logan looked worriedly and helplessly on as she bounced all along the cabin with the baby and Logan was finally sent off to bed with an apologetic look on his face as he yawned.

"You know just because you're miserable about something doesn't mean you make the rest of the house miserable along with you, trust me, I could make your life real difficult," she proffered.

Just then Logan looked over the grill he was tending up by the cabin and glanced their way, he just smiled for a second, accepted her tender one in return and dropped his head back down to the food he was flipping on the grill.

"He'd probably lose it if both us were acting like brats full time though," she offered down to the kid. She chuckled, "Or his hair, which would probably make him moodier than us," she chuckled again before her head dropped down a bit, "so what do you say, scream your head off while he's off doing his thing and give us some piece and quiet later on?"

Will smiled in his sleep as he nuzzled in a bit to his nook.

She smiled, "I'll take that as a yes kid."

ooOoo

…

**Late Sunday afternoon: **

There was a standoff at the car.

Logan paused on the porch looking at the car as Max bent up from strapping Will in, who was momentarily happy in sleep, sucking on his pacifier.

She caught him eying the passenger side door.

"We are not stopping every five minutes with the kid," was all she said, yet didn't make a sudden dash for the door as she looked over the roof to him. _They both knew she'd beat him, might as well fight him on his ground. _

"It makes sense for you to be driving, it'll be dark by the time we get home." _Her daytime vision trumped his by miles, her night… _

"It'll be dark for the last few minutes of the drive; don't use that as an excuse; I always warn you."

"Max, it's your new car, you haven't driven it for more than a few miles," he pointed out.

" Logan unless you're planning on buying me a new one every week, me and ol..." she dropped her head down to look at the car before looking up with a smile, "Porgy."

He smiled back.

"Have plenty of bonding time ahead of us,"

He sighed as he moved towards the car and gave up his fight.

"Good choice," she smiled.

He'd always been warned about always losing the fight in a relationship, he hadn't known they were right though until he met her.

ooOoo

…

The sector cop patrolling the edge of the city laughed as Logan rolled down his window to hand over their papers. His body bent and his head tilted to see the passengers in the back. "My wife used to do the exact same with our first two kids," he said with a smile as he saw Max in the backseat leaning into Will's car seat as she replaced the pacifier that had dropped out of his mouth.

She looked up confused.

"Hovered over every trip, we used to pull over a half a dozen times just going to the grocery store," the older man smiled, a parent of children long since grown, raised in a world so different than the one he was in now.

The couple's eyes met in the review mirror as Logan met hers with a sheepish expression.

"Just the first two?" Max asked with a smile, the 'sugar and spice, and everything nice' route was always the best one with cops.

"Three kids on just a cop's salary?" he gave a wry smile, "Our first car lasted till the youngest was three, limited amount of seats. She had to learn how to turn around every five seconds with the third."

Max and Logan both smiled back.

He flipped through their IDs and their passes. He paused looking at Logan's last name, a rather well known name even before…He wondered if the guy knew plenty of folks regarded the late Jonas Cale as a martyr, they could have really used those hover drones, they might have had a shot of getting control back of the city, like it had been when his kids were little. He didn't risk saying it though, "You folks take it easy," he smiled and handed the papers back, he smiled to Max, "and make sure you pull over when that little one needs out." He smiled back at Logan, "We were driving to my mother's and my wife decided she'd change his diaper in the back seat, I almost went head on into incoming traffic from the smell."

Logan brightly smiled back as Max laughed.

ooOoo

…

"And what's wrong with my favorite nephew?" Krit said swooping into the apartment almost an hour after their arrival and extracting the squalling baby out of Logan's arms after he opened the door.

"That's a very good question," Logan replied, "let us know when you figure it out."

"Where's Max?" Krit asked as he bounced with the baby.

"She was a little distracted by his crying and…" Logan's voice tapered off.

Krit stopped moving and just looked at Logan, a second later a smile emerging on his face, "Oh man, tell me she got peed on."

Logan just made a face.

"The mouth? The nose? The eye?" Krit was giddy with anticipation.

"You're enjoying this a little too much," he replied with serious eyes.

"She got it in the mouth didn't she?" Krit's smile fell into a smirk of satisfaction.

"Just a little," Logan answered; of course the stream had also hit her neck and chest in that second before she got it under control.

_He was trying not to laugh, desperately trying not to laugh, but she had laughed that first, second and well he wasn't telling her about the third time, he was never trying to multitask and change a diaper ever again. _

_"Don't you fuckin dare," she ordered after wiping her mouth and spitting a bit onto the floor as she continued on autopilot to change the diaper. "Of all the crap I've had to take and can take…Peeing on me?" her eyes were large in anger. "I've slept outside for weeks, I've gone over a week without food, I've been covered in blood, my own and others, but peeing on me?" She turned to him with the baby dressed in a fresh diaper, "One guy caught the corner of my shoe once in a john, I personally introduced him to the can." She handed off the baby as she walked straight past him into the bathroom. _

_He convulsed in silent laughter until he heard the shower start… _

"Oh man," Krit smiled, "I can't believe I missed that…" He patted his nephew's back, "Nice shot kiddo."

Logan couldn't help but laugh again.

Krit's smile fell as he anxiously looked down and Will and tried shifting him around to make him quiet down. "Did you try the swing?"

Logan looked at him with dry eyes, "No, we decided to just let him scream it out for over an hour."

"He's been crying for over an hour?" Krit's eyes narrowed.

"Minus a few minutes I think he used to catch his breath."

"Crap," he said looking down at his nephew, hoping the kid didn't keep it up throughout his visit.

ooOoo

…

"Look whose finally making an appearance," Krit said spying his sister walking towards the edge of the living room. Her hair wrapped in a white towel, a blue plaid robe wrapped tightly around her.

"You've been here for ten minutes," she answered matter-of-factly having heard him arrive. " Logan working?" she asked quickly scanning the room upon her arrival in it.

Krit chuckled and rocked gently in the chair with Will in his arms, "Yea, moment the kid quieted down, he bailed for his computer," he smirked, "after ordering me to keep doing whatever it was I was doing."

She laughed and settled into the couch, "What did you do?"

"I was my normal naturally charming and caring self, kid calmed right down," he smiled.

She rolled her eyes before shaking her head, "Keep doing your thing, I'm gonna go check in with my girls."

He frowned as she walked away before looking back down at his sleeping nephew, pacifier happily being sucked. "At least you appreciate me, right Will?" he asked as he gently bounced his nephew for a response.

"Wake the kid and I'll kill you," Max ordered without turning.

ooOoo

…

**Monday Morning; **

The mother viewed her suspiciously; the father's eyes almost never left the baby. Both looked ready to pounce her with every move. She'd had anxious parents before but this was pushing it and to top it off she was being studied like a med student by an old colleague.

"Babies cry during these things," Sam chuckled as he watched his old friend of over ten years look at him with annoyance.

"Babies cry general," Dr. Trent corrected.

"Yea," Max interjected, "but this one cries more than most," she said referring back to the topic they'd been discussing when Will had decided he'd had enough of this and let them know. Max's moves were sudden as she snatched him into her arms and away from the doctor without so much as a warning twitch.

_Lot__'s of moms did that, _Victoria Trent tried to remind herself and took a calming breath, "Colic," she explained.

"The books all say that-" Logan began.

The doctor cocked her head for that, _she just loved when they knew more than her. _"Symptoms don't fit?" she asked.

"Well no, but, the timeframe, if he was going to have developed."

'Timeframes are not exact; all of the books say they're general guidelines."

"But colic,"

"Does not always develop to a noticeable peak within the age the books suggest, especially when the baby is premature. Granted he's actually very on track with his developmental milestones, you just lucked out on this one."

"Who actually has colic?" Max asked with a shake of her head, sure people joked and even bemoaned about it, but the descriptions she'd read hadn't lined up with their kids…_Will__on_ _the_ _other_ _hand_. _Damn_ _how_ _had_ _she_ _missed__that_?

"You don't see it much anymore because the majority of babies are breastfed due to no other option."

_Like she'd had a choice in that, _Max thought begrudgingly as it felt as if the other woman was accusing her of that wrongdoing.

"So what can we do?" Logan asked with a sigh and moved to take Will out of Max's hands and he noticed Max's growing confrontation with their doctor.

"Switch formulas would be my first suggestion. My nurse should hopefully have a few samples of some brands for you to try. I'll give you a list of ones that might be easier on his system. I'm sure your books will have a lot of suggestions. Motion's normally the most successful option, rocking chair, swing, stroller, walking…" She smiled, "Car used to be the most popular option, though with the gas shortages being what they are…" she shrugged with another smile, "Parents have learned to be a lot more creative."

ooOoo

…

"More creative?" Max shot an accusing look down to Logan as he strapped Will into his car seat.

He didn't say anything.

"How much are you paying her for her to say _we_ should be more creative?" she continued to rail.

"Max, I'm sure if she had a magic pill to give us, she would have," he promised as he gave a gentle smile and a reassuring finger rub against the cheek to his sleeping son, before standing up.

"And it might get worse before it gets better?" she questioned leaning against the black passenger's side door of the Volvo.

"I know it's not the answer either of us wanted," he conceded as he softly shut the back door, "But it will go away and he's perfectly healthy, which isn't that what we wanted?"

"Well I could have told her he was fine, sick lungs don't sound like that," she glared.

He sighed and shook his head, "Look Max, I'd love to debate with you the triviality of most health care professionals in this day and age, due to their lack of resources, the serious lack of culpability, due to the lack of checks and balances in the current system, not to mention the understaffing of all medical fields…but I'm late, so can this wait till dinner?"

She rolled her eyes.

He took a step closer to her, "What if I tell you I have a surprise for you?"

"You're quitting to be a stay at home dad?" she asked with a cocked head.

"The offer of daycare is still out there," he reminded, but didn't directly respond to her comment, "but this is even better than that."

"All the bling in the-"

"Not really bling, more like a beep," he offered taking another step to press her into the car door as he pressed himself against her.

Her eyes casually rolled up, ignoring their stance.

"Not flashy, but flashes after every blackout," he hinted.

"If you're messing with me," she gruffly ordered.

He smiled, "You can pick it up at Rick's," he said referring to his local connection that they'd used before, "on your way home, I'd grab it after work, but I figured you'd want it for lunch."

'You may be useful after all," her lips lifted in a teasing smile.

"I could be even more useful and pick up enough Chinese food after work so you can nuke your way through lunch for the rest of the week."

"Hmm, sounds like my kind of surprise," she answered before rewarding him with a goodbye kiss.

ooOoo

…

Muddy green eyes eyed the surrounding area with an unwavering diligence, not deterring from his goal for a second, until, "It's my turn," a little hand came out, flying towards the black leash.

"Nuh uh," blue eyes went as wide as the sea as he viciously snatched the leash away from the prying hands and all forward motion stopped and even the puppy turned around and started bouncing in front of them as he barked and they bickered.

"Daddy said, _At the tree." _

"It's not this tree," his head vigorously denied his brother's validity.

"Guys," the weary father behind them called out.

Their mother snickered.

A pair of grayish green eyes came upon her in a moment of agitation that matched their children's.

She focused her eyes away and pushed down that smile, "Will," she calmly ordered.

"Mom…" his voice became a whine, "he's not big enough to walk-"

"Will," it was his father's stern warning this time.

His face settled into a petulant frown and he muttered under his breath, "Try not to let go this time."

Their youngest son snatched away the leash as he turned back towards his parents, "Mommy," his face full of frustration, "it wasn't-"

"I know baby, Buck got excited by the geese, just hold on tight this time, he's a little puppy; we don't want him getting lost in the woods."

"I'd never let you get lost," he promised squatting down to pet the golden retriever's blonde fur, ignoring his own sandy blonde locks that fell forward nearly covering his eyes.

"Ugh," his older brother sighed and groaned all at once and started walking again.

"Hey wait for me," his younger brother leapt up and started after him, firmly clutching the leash within his tiny hand.

"Guys, slow down," their father called out before sighing to himself once they were further away.

"All boys need dogs," the mother snickered again.

The father once more glared and the mother giggled.

ooOoo

…

She shot awake and tried to shoot up, but instead found herself toppling to the side and breaking her fall to the floor, by grabbing onto the coffee table. She kicked at the throw that had managed to get tangled in her feet as the baby screamed from his bassinet angry at the delay, angry at the discomfort that wasn't being relieved and she shot an angry look at the fried rice that had fallen during the struggle before dashing across the room.

"I know," she promised as she scooped him up, "I know," she bounced with him, "this sucks. You'll be okay. It's all going to be okay." Then she shot a look over at her now messy coffee table, "And I'm never eating that much General Tso's at 2am," before smiling as she continued to bounce.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


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